The Coicle February J, 1973 VOL. I() NO. I~ A .. :\s a last venture for the Co-editors of the Circle. ( Ed O'Connell and . Stuart Gross> ;. We are hoping to start a possible tradition for all t•ditorfal boards when their time has ended. At this time we would like to lean• you with this thought: "You have laughed at us. now we hope _you can laugh at yourself." .. Corruption Rampart On Security Force The Marist College Campus announcement to the college Circle: ·•How was the alleged was" rocked by the discovery of commwiity_· wedriesday. _"I am corruption able to continue so • ·•graft and corruption right up to sickene_d by the discovery" said long unnoticed? the highest offices of the security Presideng Floy .. _·. . The President: What? force." The story" broke when Circle.: Ifepo1;-fe.r Bob . Bieber Circle: Never mind. President Milbatis Floy made an was on th~ see~~:, . _ • .. When pressed for details, · . ___ ;.__.;.. ______ _...__________ President Floy stated that the • Pe~ce~-W7hat R~~lly. ii~pp~~~d • f~tZ~t::cx~~iJ 0 ~!ct!:e}t~! on Jhe Mafia payroll. ~loy alsc ------ .. -.. --··-•· .. •.•··'"/·The- ·Jumble E~;J~~~~§:E15 • -. -- - supposedly heavely guaraed. When • security Director A Backward I Glance • I to the class of '73 !•'our years of sordid episodes have past. and now our parting looms apparc'lt at last. We drop behind our greatest effectr • ·or idealism, hope, perseverance and neglect. We were to ~ the greatest of classes, not walk around with our heads in the clouds. We took our hazing, all the grief and rile, and when we hazed we did it in style. Community. peace. love. these words are now good, . where hatred. violence, and tradition once stood. We fought together against all the issues. at the cost of many thousands of tissues. Anti•war. Nixon. Agnew. and Laird. we voiced our protests, we were not scared. We took to task every issue and item. and now our school disavows IBM. Eight o·clock hadn't finished its tum in tbe·a~m. li!)eup on this cold Haderhalt was· confronted with i, Saturday morn1ng in January. President Nix(!tl 5c8t$ilently behind his the evidence. he said. "Do you I llur present class is not without peers. marble topped desk in his private office. He was jrQni.ng out a few pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?" ij to those of our country and men of long years. kinks of the speech he would soon deliver for liis inauguration. Fifteen It was alleged that the Security g Lincoln and Nixon and I<'illmore and Grover. thousand fanatical screaming fans were expected to~ on hand f<?r. ~ • Vorce was supporting a campm ffi we find Mulligan. Maneri. O'Connell. and Cloer. opening of his !econd terpi on the steps.of th~ CapitaL . •• • . . ··,red light district. protecting fi . What of Washington. Adams. Jeffersen. and Capone. He started to reread his speech. He felt himself nodding off but Just niimbers operations. and ad- ;.Im·:_:,··· . we have Scovotti. DeNara. Freccia. and Simeone. ~efore he fell deE:P into oblivia, Press ~cretaryH<>nald Ziegler walked~ vising SAGA food service. Mosl . . m and hand~ h1!11 a bundle_of mo1·mng_ newspapers fr.~m ~ound the members of the Security Force After four years we look at our teachers. country. Pnmarlly he was mterested m what .the ed1ton_als had. to could npt be found after the story §. and compare them with the age old teachers. constructively offer. He woul_d ·put them: into_ t~e. columns:_ 1 .. hit .. However, Circle reporter~ ID Look at Plato, Socrates. f>ascal and Hegel. AGREE. I ~ISAGRE~, ~nd I CENSURE. . . . . .. _· _· .. _ ,\·ere able to_ find a few. Super- I . and now our Teichman. Schroeder. Griffin, and Cagel.. Afte: readin~ the editonal~ a~d :the ~por~ ~age~, he picked up the • visor· Mack Jicena said "Ten. d There is Marx. I<'reud. Spinoza. and McLuhan. • through the pages until he round the Jumble. . $:W.1 for no Decal". When asked New \ ork Daily New~_· Pulling out his Pre. S1dent1al P. e_n he flipped doll_a.rst __ ·orNo Parking area_, and . 1 ❖=< and our own Waters. Kirk. Pasquariello. and Nolan. "Dai:nn" he ~id. "It's that same wo~d. • Why do .they keep using if he wasinyolved in thealleged 1 , Ncxtto our social scene we turn \\ith glears. rerun Jumbles?_ He :was stuck on the f~rst.word •. _EAP.EC we!'! the corruption. Student·._Director I tofindthefastcouplesofMarist'slongvears. letters. He pacecl the noor :and wrote· on· the c~ams trymg to Clark Kent said: "You know lhe. • !"II be damned if Pancherithjnks life is Divine. •••• -rea_rrangc theseJetters -which: had· puzzl~cthim.for. four, .ye~~-, Tll~:., Iastguy,wh1>:ru.;1icd'thatgot -~.siif;: • . ; -... amUf.T.fil59rn)i.b~!:J. 011~.rm.$m:g_J:i~ ~£l.!'1Jn~..,__ ... phone rang. • • ~. •• dropped on .his head:" When·.,, llowaboutMriVicePresidentandthegirlhecallsNancy. . _ _ . · . _ .0::~-_ .. usked how'he felt Grendan. Pill. " ask Sheehan of Sheahan if Ellen·s his fancy. ··11e~lo. Spiro. What gets y~ up so early'?''. said_the P~£l~~dent~ he" patrolman ~replied: •!J'll· make· unwrapped a new·pack of Wmchesters. He 1ma~m~ himself with a you an offer you can't_refuse·." mo~stac_he and a new hat. he wondered why he didn task Pat for her . Patrolman Hoe H_µgo said: "How resignation. . . ._ . . . . far. is it to.Canada?:' All this .. Well. Richard. I w~s _precarious ~ dubiliation that you ~.gbt fall transpired as Supervisor Robin • prey tosomecommurusticattempt tomduceyou to oversleep. was last seen heading south with ··Ha.ha.olebuddy,Don'tyouworryaboutme.'.' a suitcase filled with small un• .. Did you fix up your soliloquoy?" . .. , . marked bills . .. Let _me say this a_bout that. Spiro. I hav~ tped by best,. but I s~ill With the almost total disap-. cannot m clear conscience make up a dynannc interlude; I wish, I wish pearence of the Security force I could write like J.F.K." - ·,: .; ' , ·.widespread I looting has broke~ _ ··wh?'?°' Agnew_ "".as s~lent, then ask~d, "By the way, Mr. President,. •.out on campus. ".The situation is who will be admm1ster1ng the oath? . • out of- control.·· said President ··w~rren B. He_ doesn't give.me too ma~y words ina ro~ to ~ry to 1·1oy. An atomosphere of tension • recall:. The last time I got stuck between honor and obey. said .the hangs over Marist Campus as blushing Pres. •• . . everyone wonders if things will Now take a look a ta monolith of scorn. or that institution Marist calls a dorm. For triads. Tinkers to Evers to Chance comes to my eyes. but try Champagnat. Leo. an~ Sheahan for size . Leo was known for the zoo and ifs benders. why is the :3rd floor so big on Pokeepsie's bartenders? Champagnat surely has enough committees to fill. all their greater and lesser house councils still. Boredom ·s their bane so they created a barn. and be wary of their security or you'll sound an alarm, Sheahan for years we thought of as fags. when in reality they're only big brags. This time Spiro's voice became more solemn and sincere, one would ever return to normal. think he was trying to do a James Stuart imitation. "I hope_you know that 100.000 commie radicals are coming down to violently protest and The smaller houses are known for their cliques. -~ but what do they really do over there for kicks'? '@ The Gregory snobs are all too high, I deem, possibly disrupt ·your .day of infamy.".-· •. . • . . • "I know that Spi. and I don't caJ'.e. I have ordered air support and a regiment <i. National Guardsmen to come up from the south. I also will have my close friends, the Redskins, in my row. . . . "But;· Mr. President, quivered Agnew, '.'Jerry .Rubin and Abbie • Hoffmann will also be here and so will .the Hell's Angels. ·1 wonder if Jane is going to come. That's why I am warning you." • '.'They are not the ones lam worried about,so I don't care." • The Vice President found the ~xt words hard to find but finally had to reveal them. . . . • "Mr; President, I didn't-want to alarm yoo but there is a strong possib.ility that the Marist weathermen- may be coming down also.". Nixon panicked. "Spiro, I -will call you back." • . . '• '/ Beads of sweat now covered the President's· upper lip. He was shaken by this latest development. Again he picked up his phone. Three - six~ one.-five -five-five·~ five.· • • • ."~llo Henry, thisis Richard.". . ... Richard? .Richard Who?" .. . ·The.President.''.. . .... . ;,But Richard- it isn't even nine-o'cla<;k-."• .. - .. • "Henry;·listen: I-am in grave trouble.'.'·.· .. • •. -·.'.'Did Pat.leave you again:?'.'...:...:-:.•- .. ·· • , .... • "No.-No, No. There are staunch reports.tbat.the· Marist weathermen arecomingdowntotoday~srally agaiiisUhe war:"' .. ·.:•OH NO, NO, OH NO, 0 TELL ME IT AJN!T SO.'' "lhave called a meeting with the join~ chiefs. of stlitff and I want you to fly to Paris after the ceremony and talk to le Due. I think we better end this war. this week." • . "Ofcourse, Mr.' President. What Marist·wants,-Marist gets." · ·•oh Henry, let me ask you one thing._Did you do today's Jumble in the News.H·. •. . . . •• . ··Yes ( did; and I had a terribly hard time on that first word. I . couldn'.t get ·it no matter how hard I tried. I told myse_lf that l had it, I thought it.was at the tip of my .hand, Finally,:! was forced by the. janitor to get it.'' . •• . ,·wen. what.is it?!' anxiously inquired the president. "P+E+A+C+E.'-' . • "Peace·; I never heard of it before. What does it mean?" , '. '··'.'.', ' .... ,. '' ''•'.' I Stu.dent · Gov't -In-Action The meeting of Stuqent <iovernment was called to order by President Bernard Mulligan . ,··Nard" to all the beautiful. people in. Gregory House> at 8:00 on the evening of January- 29, exactly . three weeks late, All • members of the Elite Council wei:e present and accounted for, except vice-president and •. financial wizard,Jo£' Cocopardo . \\'hen· called ofr the campus phone.-Joe said that he was .in- disposed. and had .to study for an important_ .mi~term that was coming up in about two months. The._meeting proceeded without the estecmed-Cocopardo. l•'irst item on the agenda was the Treasurer's Report, given as • infrequently as · possible by Moneybags Ranellone, who just bought himself a new car. The esteemed .Ranellone summed it all up in a few words: ·•summing it all up in a few words; ··guys . Be_rnie has got to cut out spending Student • Government funds, because we got no funds left." Hecording secretary Bob Nelson • Cont. on page 4 ' ~ . ~ while l<'ontaine is falling a part at the seams. ffl Benoit's another story you should note with alack, • by tl,lc lavender shades or th~i.r parked :Cadillac's. So. good bye to you all, 1 hope I've not harmed, Just poking nice fun here at the Marist Funny Farm. Love. me Apathy Takes Life Of ,.,,. . ., Student f<'rank della Kasetta, a third year Police Science major, was rushed to St. Francis Hospital; last night for what doctorrs call the "most severe case of apathy ever recor9ed in the Poughkeepsie area." della Kasetta died one hour later .. Area health • official, K. Lesenko. hoped that the cause which is easily communicale and easily contagious would not spread. Housemaster Pet llinesight responded im- mediately to • the hospitals call where he told newsm~n. "I don't care what happens. Who am I to say anything. Leave me alone." Apathy tests have been given around the community of Poughkeepsie, but no college students have been in for the test, even though it is reported my special that this is the place where it all starts. Police believe that students at deila Kasetta~ Cont. on page 2 PAGE2 ... ,Shaping The Shapeless Into: Hoom depooits are $.50 and are due immediately. They are refun- dable in 8 lllonths with a written request in triplicate. The first copy is to be made out on yellow paper. The second copy is to be made out en green paper. With the third copy on toilet paper. • . Then after 17 visits to the appropriate authorities you're infcrmed they_are looking into the _matter. After what seems io be forever, you recel\'e the check l~ interest th~y charge you for holding your money> and a deduction for vandalism on a room you haven't seen because you live off campus ... But at least you didn't let the bureaucracy get you down. After all you have the check in your hand for a $1.50. Campus center hours - Check the Rathskeller. The scene takes place in the 'Bookstore"? Student: "Bookstores do ·seu books, don't they? - Mgr. ·•Get to the rear of the line, hand your schedule to the man in charge. ':! hr. later: ''What books do you have?" Mgr. You must understand it's due to the-hours a bookstore keeps. Come back later. . Later that day: Mgr. not in. refer to time schedule. Time schedule "We are in at our own convenience." • Dean Waddle made a recent statement about marijuana recently. He. stated "its a plant, isn't it? • . A Ditty . Freddie and Pattie they sit right, there, • they practice their vows, do they care? . . You walk up to your opponent sizing it, waying the Pros and Cons. You decide to take a chance, reach into your pants pocket and pull out your last 25 cents; You putthe coin in the slot and its gone. _ , . Step right up folks and purchase your parking stickers. This handy da_nd}· piece of paper and glue will amaze you. For the unquestioning price of $3.~ you can _be tagged, gagged_ and flagged:-And, you can . earn bonus Jmes rangmg from $10 on up. • . ~.:;. Ms. Librarian, coµld you help me find a book? "Only if its on the first floor, I'm afraid of the dark. "Hey you wanna smoke some mary-jane?, maybe buy some'? Being a suave .and sophisticated dop~ smoker I said: "Let's have a taste first" :-;· I enter his room and he pulls out a pipe and says "This is the stuff your gonna buy so will smoke it." He fills the pipe and I take a few tokes while he blasts his stereo. I straighten out and leave the room having bought a Z of some bad ass weed .. I get to my room and fill my pipe and light it. An odor permeates throughout the room and you _wonder "Who's cooking Pizza???· Amen TI\ECOlCLE FEBRUARY 1, 1973 A Marist Fable: Business Office Means Business Once upon a clear January checks in his wallet and produced ··Ah. yes," She exclaimed, afternoon, a young dedicated his identification. The lady while thumbing through com- senior. well known and respected studied the information on the puter sheets which holds_ the· throughout the community, card carefully, looking earnestly . secrets of the Tibetan Monks, the wandered innocently into the at the student, and. asked; Pentagon Papers, and the Office center of economic activity at "Whats your name"? • Managers laundry list," Your Marist College - The Business The stude~t. now slightly problem is quite obivious,you are Office. concerned about the future of"this not registered hei:e . ., . . "Good Morning, Mam,". he discussion. cast· ·his• eyes in· -.··There was a strange chemical saluted. ··rm a little confused eternal patience .to the 1938 . reaction-. occuririg inside the over a comment made by the ID Currier and Ives calendar on the bewildered students head. It did card validator. She says I'm not wall ... my name," he answered/' seem odd to him, even though registered here. "Of course I · is learned by decoding those )ust a few scant .weeks earlier he know she was in error so I'd symbols just .. l;>el_ow . my had withstood courageously. the· appreciate your clearing this photograph." .. '·· • .. .. rigors of registration, he_ ~hould. matter up." • . She • - .ac~n_<i"Vl~ifgecl• :<·this find himself di:opped from his .• "May I see your ID. card discovery.,::- : . •. >-~ -:- :. :. :: much desired • courses. . please." the amiable .. • lady - ··Now.thatwe·have established ·•Mirabiledictu'' he pondered, "I - replied. So. the. young • man· who I am.:perhaps you cari clear don't feel, n9~-re~istered, _ how thumbed through the· cancelled·'. pp my probl_~n:is.:·: . - : . : could this not. happen?'.' ,"It's really quite. simple, therefore· I A D · I · 1· ~:~:> •• _ _.. can explain it to you .. )'m.i hav_e . . . . a_ Y.. . n· ·. :·--:r_. _·_l __ :_~_e __ :_ .. ~=-·._F~.--~_) __ :~ no.~J!~~ ~~~r~ill~~~nite lady": _I _ - . happen to 1:>e'the pi:<iud pos~~or L . f - Of T ·, . - . ' .. ' .. ··. .. . of a MaristGrant-In-Aid, A Ni::~ •• I - e- - .:-:--· · .. :_h·· e.: ::.- :·_·; __ • =:>. ~:J\ sgi::e:~e~:Jc~t::~~ - - grant ~talipg:to,$700:IJO, How can ~ · .. -·~ ;- .• - • . .,-~- ~ ·l not be r~gist~red~'~_-; • • ... C t U • . ·•Did you.ten us you possessed. 0 mm U er. . □ ·1-o·n· these,(unds'?.",-she paried_slyly. ,· · · • •···What tell you?", he shohted. ·:.. ··. : .• . •· • •• •• • .. ··1t·s in. the same folder.where . ·.:,:·". • ·: -. ' ·- •• ·~ :::_.~- you got niy address to se"tid me . . , · • . · my bill for the courses· that I J om Ji arrell, Hapless .Meanwhile. Kathy Scott· took ha • dea t • t • .,; I 'rcsid_ent _of the - most dyna~c • no~es for her four math courses in ·Ff:" lad O ~;tg:{ ·~s out orgamzat1on on· the Mar1st spite of all the racket. •. • •· · · k • .dY • 1- htl th • • , b · • • · "nk· I , • . wea ene . s 1g y en re- ~mpus. was. egm~mg to s1 n a ~orner.-.t:,vo peop.~:-were established her determination. mto the stupor whi~ charac- performing a grisly rendition of · . ,. . . terizes the person-who has eaten ··Heartbreak Hotel;'·' the artists ~ 1th a reaffirmed 1>e~se of ~uty, one left-over inarshamllow . too ,..,ill go nameless because I . _she 10\yered the boom upon the . . . - . , • . - _ say • enraged stude~t. Her reply was a - The . Phase:::Three, Cook Book many from .the disastrous so. but. the .sound they .were di b r - 11 1 "So ... . t:on:iuter, Up.ion Marshmallow · producing was causing Tom . ?; 0 ica Y c ev~r. . _rry. '· . Hoast. When. the deliveryman -. l•'arrell·to start· mumbling, about. )_he_ stuc,lent wa~ _f1~shed. _He. " • · '· ' •• ,; ·• t' ed er .. , If h "B tt L .. "B • k knew that there was nothing . . . cg~ <:_rt ourlB_Mo ice- pust m~ ·tt e . et Y .. -~1u49th. St -~•c d. _!load--- -more "that could be said. In ia~ new . compu er mo, a • _masers·'•: . •• a~ gonna boiling l•'RUSTRATION he ran corne_r. asking whether.or ~ot h_e. ··get •.:co~!-ee. for . the coff1;e outside to the back of 'rontaine was m the Computer -Umon, 1t machme , Man._, F_arre~l-~a.s on. hall where he began to ponfficate . ~;at all :ro~.coµld do f? mumble\ _ ? bum~~~ . trip from those about a·· shrub: _ _ _ 1 \\'e Americans are a changing dinner bell. Negative. It was evident .t~ all·· , mallows_... • . .. . . : •...... , The moral of· this story: people". Married couples are •• Therefore. • in the great of us present that ~ur ebullient Joe_ . I>_uffy . .was gl~emg. his .. "Remember the Business Office _ changing partners. Teenagers tradition of modern _science, 1 leader was suffermg from a postage stamp collection to the .- • 1 • • • •iii g d bl t g· • are changing religions. Wives are say. :'Let the bells ring"!". \\'hilt• marshmallow overdose. office wali. saying.how artistic it" IS a :y~w•. n a.~ a e O I Ve changing husbands, . and it might not always be chicken. ,Jim Peluso; head of our-Social looked, while ~·rank Ma.rtin was • you e usm_ess. • , husbands arc changing babies. let us follow our leader in rriaking l'romotion and Problem-Solving: moaning about how· he'd. ac- .• ~~1<'%iW%&.~ . Due to all of this change; many· the most of it Next week's en- tiroup. was outlining his plans to cidentally spent :a:· t909-S_:·vpB of us seem lost or resentful that tree: "Steak Surprise". The make the C.U. office.-into a ,:,penny.,-.down in the Rat. Fran . the old ways have been cast surprise? It's potatoes! topless nightclub when "Jim , DiGr~ndi was pI°aying secretary- . aside. Without the bulwark of Cioffi. who had changed from a about this .time,. and_-~P~.- wai;; . tradition. we are vulnerable to resident-to .a commuter-to-a- turning .. on all the charm, she. . . .•. the attacks and immorality of the .s· ·t U· d e· n t resident~again so often he. didn't . : ~ould ~~Ster t_o ge·~ h~r.· rellecti_on • •. 1 ':iru. ti~db of_ go~f : bee~ new guard. We have been proven know where to go home at night m the mirror to run down to the • rug _s ,an • _eer_ . as an. gullible by the slanted news asked Peluso why he'd want t~ . Hat and get-he,;:.a_ cheese!Jurger. . s_peci;~f \kwheredtlibe bars ts.e 1 rye . . . hts t "th t ·r . Sh .:· • 't "h" .• h 1 • •. }OU _wm s an . eer. a ow media that we trusted for so long. own a mg po _w1 ou a roo _. :.. e. wasn_ .~ a_y1~g muc .. uck, • Th • L. t - to th" • • Now. WC' fear a ruthless ·on- Tom Kelly, posmg as a token • Also lookmg- ·mto. the mirror, prices_ •. • . e~. is en. · - is. slaught at the hand of. modern d". ·,· ·e S ·_ • ·o·f sane p~rson in the_:<>utfit. took ._which is a t~~.sll!ed.re_i!li!1d~r;of, •. SPECIAL AT :BRANK$ - 7 . \\ickedness. notes o?'the encounter, and swore . th~ days. when .ourJ>f(1ce-was_ a'.. • NIGHTS A WEEK: ALL/fHE To protect ourselves, we chose ~the d make a_ movie base<:1 on - _barbers~op ,.for -,c!~n._ -~!~W~llt - ·BEEil' • YOU .• CAN -·:BUY a leader we had hoped would be . grim events m the office.. stude~ts of an earher M;ir1st,.~as. _.. THAT'S IiIGHT •coME TO capable of making the most of ._Jo~.T•epe~~n~_. ,~l)o;w;is b-ymg ·.THE.·:.· , BAR_.-:·· WHERE. •• our weakness, gullibility, __ and h . . _ to _mJect s1hcon~mto th~ eleven • • ·BUYBACKS AND COMFORT rear •• and capable he. has Apa t . y·.. Ping Po~ t~rnament. He aJso ~,rs scatter_ed aJogg_:hl_S-Jlpper,: l>ON'T; EX.IST: •. :- • • ·: proven! The product of·his placedmnthmthemarathonT.V.· hpsohe_couldgrow:a_musuiche.· .,. ; .. ·•," ,. ,_. • • - • ··making the most"·.is an·ood watch three years ago in -~.nd.~t.-Jast esGa~;tl)e_Q.a~id_ .• _ -~%&..~ ru • i-"··. littlecreaturecalled •'Phase3". I _Champagnat. Due to his iri- Cassidy look .which ·he.-just • do not pretend, like so many·· from page 1 - volvement and credentials Frank naturaUy had. ··: .. •• .. :-->: , .-------------. others, to understand· the in- school have, been . teaching was nominated for "Junior of the • •• In a c_orner, ·_two people were tricacies of this riew plan· for apathy to grammar school Year." •• - •. performing .a grisly- rendition of.- stability. However, we can all see children.. A· spedal meeting had _been "Long Tall Sally;" the artists some of the far reaching effects. According to della Kasettas called !Jy the Student Leaders in· will go-nameless because· I· say • For instance, our weakness has roommate, Stanley Romaneck, order to curb the spreading so. :but the sound. they were been replaced with the: strength thevictimhadnotleft his room in :ipathy in the large_Jecture hall. producing was causing Tom of confidence in a new idea. Our three years except to eat, visit All three people showed up for the Farrell to start m1,1mbling about guUibility has been • converted the john, and occasionally attend first time this semester but one "champagne pa:rty" "being into faith in our leader and his . a class. ··All Frank ever wanted fell asleep and. the other two • bartender" ;:puttin~ ·mallows·in- • managerial skill. Ho,vever,-our _ to do was ~lch and go to the Pie refused. to give more than .an ~e bu~bly and, _.well •• ,M~n, • fear has been replaced only by and Shove." For their roommate. ·abstain' on any measure. I l•a~e.llw~sreally_gone this_time._ confusion about what the hell this Romaneck and Jackson Knag A service was to be held this Chri_s Wise ~as m -~ middle of· ,vhole mess actually is and what threw all. his belongings out of afternoon but it appears now that all _this. • but she • was actually • do wedo until somebody finds out twelfth floor window and ripped everyone wants to ·sit, in the gettmg some work done. Larry • and explains it to us. . his name off the·list in the phone lob~y. • . _·_ I-:3sko and Daria Delaware, the This column is dedicated to booth. Then they both went back A spokesman for the familv. <, hos!-5 of Commute.rs Past, were helping fearful Americans· to bed. • . . . Jirri Calcaterra, called Frank ari . ~.unnrng arou~~ • screaming • caught in · the pinch between It was originally hoped that the ··energetic individual who always Hepent, _ye. activists!! ! There's depressed salaries and inflated student would recover but the wanted to get involved. But this mo!e }?, life-than the C?mmuter prices. For; it was not so Jong.ago school doctor; Mr. James Bur- all changed whe_n -he went to Umo~ • • • John Tomkov1tch ~as that we thrilled to the promise of dick; ·a gradliate of. Marist, has college: The family knew:that the : 00 kmg up money,makmg ; ··a chicken in every· pot,',' arid never been tothe_ hospital. • • boy was suffering . from the. schc~e~. while Tom -Farrell was .. , ·n1EnJtl'I.E ~',,·· Apprecj~~s. :t~~ ::followin_g}~op- tributors: ·_. •' ·._ ··-. · ., ,._ ••• •• .,. ''. f<Jleeil· · · ·-•·-·:, .. - •· ... ·.·-:;.-· Brian Doyle Donald Duck . Brendan Gill Stuart_ Gross . Hank Hammer Jim Heilmann James Keegan <;regory Ladders- . Kevin • Laffin Morna Moore Bernard Mulligan . Hobert Nelson Ed O'Connell .John Petraglia . Mike Peyton Rick Whitesell I~ric Yergail The Student Body Marist_ Colleg~ .. •. -· . while our· tastes. have ."changed . • : della Kasetta ~as a m~mb~r _of disease but he never would speak gr!lv•~tmg above th~ ta.bl~ by • somewhat; psychologists. tell:. us _· no •. clubs· or • orgamza bons up when he· had. the· chance or this t'.me. Just then, the phone . that we are. still :Slaves _of the· although be did sign up ·for.the-. when something was wrong" rang •• ;a~d Arlen~- Bloomfield Edited~by: O_ 'Conn_ e_ll:& Gross·.· ., . . .· .• --. . •· ... • wasmakmgacollectcan.· ,•. .· . . . ... . _,. :,- __ .... --· FEBRUARY 1, 1973 TIIECOlCLE R. u. M. The Committee for the further evidence. Hepresentative Understanding of "Snow White of course is the Morality, a subcommittee of the · most blant example of evil Mari st College Council, today allegory: After meditation and ordered an immediate halt to all prayer it became clear to me that activities sponsored by Marist the seven dwarfs were indeed not College Childrens Theater the cute little meri they professed pending further studies of . to be. They were drug pushers!! allegations and charges directed Their names are actually towards the organization by characteristics of the marijuana Sister Mary Tabernacle O.P., a addict: Sleeepy. Happy, Dopey, teacher at Regina foeli Schoo!. t;rumpy. Sneezy and Bashful. A source·close to the Cou~~il Need I say_more!!!!!!! . revealed to us that the spec1f1c Children's Theater Direct1>r conteP~ of Sister Tabernacles's 17 Hi chard Cheeeeeeeechiiia in- page complaint dealt with • alledged attempts on the part of Cl · · • f • · d • Children's· Theater to "un- • ass1 1e • sisted he had no previous knowledge of these connotations and was seen later wandering around campus, sobbing "But its for the children." In accoraance with Sister Tabernacles demands the ( ·ommi ttcc declared the tern - porary moratotrium on the current production of Pinocchio, promising however that they will discuss the issue further at the next meeting of the College Council. with the schedule for that meeting in the Fall of 1\)76. • dermind the. ino'ral fabric of my • children." The "report went on to va·· .· •' ··n· . F Or Sa I e say that under the guise of the enchantment motif past produc: tions have 'in fact attempted to "introduce to the children homosexuality. ·drug usage, adultery· and ohher perversions through the sinister use of subs telty. • • • At a: recent meeting of'CRUM the Dominican 'Nun was sum- · • moned to explain her· scandalous accusations: In an emotional tirade Sister Tabernacle altered the tone of the session by repeatedly·\vhipping the· lecturn with her Rosary beads, declaring that the •final Hour' is imminent, save· ·yourself; Richard· Cheechiiiaa." 'A wakened by . sister screams; • pr·e_siding > chairman T.C. Thomas mov·ed that she form a committee to find · t!Ie real problem. Refusing t9 do··· p~· -· :· ; :. ··d: ··•: · ' ::~t1etatfti~o~~~~n~n ~1 ~~:.-· _:Q ·r O : rs 8 second graders souls committed f>o You Like ... mind off of such bothersome ~?' the_ Childrens Theaj;er. Si~ter ... exciting night life. and things as having to clean up your I abernacles read from her _text:· orgiastic parties'!. .. . room. With one quick sweep of ·•wizard of Oz" <19~0> Act III· • ... unlimited•.·free''.eatinginan hcrhand.shewillridyouofevery s~ene :i: _LJpo~ returrung to the efficient.• hygienic facility?. .movable object- in the room. harmas farm 1_n the wake_ ofof a ... a scenic view overlooking a If it·s relaxation you are torn~do the wizard carried the progressive landfill project? looking for. Sheahan Arms will heromc. : Dor?th:y. Half-clothed Well. friends. if this sounds like afford you privacy \guaranteed and _unconsc1o_us. to the far- the type of place you are looking • less th;rn twenty one in- ~~u~t.P.:~fl~1~!ng_ ,~I i,go~.)?e Jor_. perhaps you sh_ould}ook into . ~~rmI?ti_ons_ within a h~un, peac;e gir! - , • . . •. • Sheahan Arms. For as little as •·providing-you have paid up your Suen. dialogue 1s . overtly s1:15 a month you too can enjoy all house fees ctc .. 1 and quiet <you suggestive and such adulterous the conveniences of modern are not allowed to play music. behav!or is part~ 1 cularly un° Jiving, !"or. this unbelievably low make noise outside of the one . becommg a _Wizard .. Shocked by price you receive your very own hour time slot designated as s~ch rev~I_ations the m~mbers of . half of a room I a spacious area • ··party time." > l HUM hs1tened attentively. measuring ll"x 5'9"1 Also, at our If you are of an ·energetic type. "Peter . Pan.. . \ 1971 > commoaious conmiode, complete we have something for you too. Throughout ~he. play Pe~er with all of the conveniences of !<.:very night you will be sure to repeatedly entices the darlmg home ·,Clothes hanging from find at least four or five people children to :•fly" with him; every imaginable. place. Sinks prowling the halls all night. not to • eo~stantlr ask1!1g ,them "Do you full of· 'toothpaste. showers mention continuous parties in bchcv~. m fairy s:· _clap your clogged with hair>. we guarantee casi~y acce_ssible rooms. hands . My_ susp1c1ons we_re cold running water interspersed Ah of this and more, can be , c?nfirmed upo~ Wendy's m- with hot ori sonie Holiclays. yol!rs. Stop in or write for more s1stance that children are gay. . And; friends; our p'ersonal details. Find out what dorm innocent· and Artless." . . . maid allows · you to take your living can be! • ·oruy more startling· was this • • • • • idea of Wendy living and sleeping· . • with seven littl<dost boys." • At this point iri her fit of anger the dazed Sister . Mary Taber, . . .. Poughkeepsie; N :y. -Another Marist College student died early this nacle reporteclly sta.rted .. in-.· .. morning at st: Francis Hospital. This :marks the: third student to die tcrspering her . re~rks • with • the "Green Death'' ·or ·F AGA Food "Services. The first known and occasional admonitions. of Dr. reported case appeared when Larry Pyle was found dead in Cham- Zuccarcllowiti who she claimed pagnaf'Hall. ·The ·autopsy confirmed the investigation of health of- was shooting· spitballs· ~t Ed • ficials when they found strands of hair from Chef Bobz's head. Mild Kissling. • • Ignoring. . these mannerea Jim -Ladotz, known as Lord Jim to his employees, reported deviations by the exhausted nun; • . the incident as unfortunate and'the Brumski special was off the .menu. the audience satin anticipation of With not too much left ori the menu, victims two and three came as a surprise ·to all. -Both • victims were • obviously washed away by the -- . - .. •· -- - - . - , ·. ·.·, •. _ .. "Green Death" as they headed for the local stalls. Officials do not totally· credit'the deaths.:_to -the erotic dinners of FAGA since both victims were ·reported to be politically anti-constipationists. I -{ I ! . i I I I I PAGE3 Cu.-.-iculum Revision For 1973 ART 101 - Introduction to Art I - 3 credits The study of crayola crayons and No. 2 lead pencils. will be developed with an emphasis placed on stick-figure drawings. ART I 02 - Introduction to Art II - 3 credits The student will be introduced to magic markers and finger paints. BUSU06-Principlesof Accounting l-3credits The student will learn the age old trusted method of counting by fingers to help him in his business work. BUS 007 - Principles of Accounting 2 -3 credits . The student will be introduced to modern business methods mainly the IBM 941 abacus. CMSC 123 - Introduction to Computing • 3 credits Addition, Subtraction, Division, and Multiplication with a strong emphasis on the "times" tables will be stressed. ENG 234 - Elements of Description -and Narration-3 credits Students will learn the fine art of persuasive writing <ie. "B.S." >. ENG 178 -Voices of Protest- 3 credits A staff taught course on the evils of the college English major. ENG 165-Riseofthe English Novel -3credits Emphasis will be placed on Dickens style and works. Students will develop a 5,000,000 word vocabulary of various articles of speech during the course. ENG 890 - Introduction to Communication -3 credits Basic inter-personal communications will be stressed with em- phasisonsuchphrases as Hello! How are you? Drop dead!-$!&?!! ENG 891 - Comparative Communications Systems - 3 credits Blackmail and the grapevine will be studied in detail. The student will be proficient in both methods at the end of the course. POSC 167-Introduction to Politics - 3 credits The student will become familiar with the various methods of squandering and deceit so well used by American politicians today. FRN 2:36 - Elementary French 1 & 2 - 3 credits The basic elements of French pronunciation. grammar vocabulary, verbs and FRUSTRATION will be taught. SPANISH 857 - Intensive Spanish - 3 credits A living-learning .:!xperience involved with the study of the Spanish passion and the Don Juan concept. FRN 866 - The Literature of Revolt in French Literature - 3 credits The study of French pornography and other contemporary "ouevres risque" . LAT :ml - Elementary Latin - :3 credits Your favorite hymns, prayers. and devotions will be studied. Open only to nostalgic Catholics. MATH :!87-388 • Analysis I & II • 3 credits . Frustration, boredom and insanity will be studied along with other topics such as functions. limits and integration. HEST :i78 • Marriage and Family - :l credits Couples will be matched by our computer. Course will involve ex- tensive lab work with supervised instruction. REST !)23 • Contemporary Moral Problems - 3 credits An insight into the moral problems facing American youth today. Students will be expected to become fully engrossed in the moral problem of their choice. i· • HEST !101 - Basic Concepts of Religion - 3 credits-- An intensive study and memorization of the Baltimore catechism. I 're-requisites: 5 rosaries and 9 weeks of Miraculous Medal devotions. 1<:xcommunicated students will be allowed into the course with the permission of the Department chairman . ,~ K A~ ~ [~ \ ' \ \ i \ (\ • ; \ ! c:.:J -, 7}w:t~ cool .. b Morna Moore ,,. PAGE 4 THE COICLE FEBRUARY 1 1 1973 An Interview The Prospective Student Athlete Hy Jim Keegan A typical tour given by the headlights of all of those cars, also the Soccer coach here at Admissions Director of a well- Ctheoach Ntapol 00 eon has esh ~blishf:d Moth. and really a fine gen- known school in the Mid-Hudson m~ _m ern tee ruques m tleman. Valley, in the year 1992. He -is field lighting. Why high schools Mr. Jock: 1 can't understand giving the tour to a famous high and gram~r schools fr(?m all why anyone can play soccer. if school athlete from New Jersey over the nation come here Just to . you ask me itis too European and along with his parents. study Napoleons m~thods. there isn't enough scoring. Adm. Dir: Good afternoon, my . Joey Joe~: ?Whats your gym Adm. Dir.: well, that might be name is Goliath Finn and I am like. Mr. !4"'1nn. . true Mr. Jock, but you should let thec!irectorof admissions.here at Adm. Dir.: Why, its funny rou Joey be the judge of that. MOTH. sh01µd ask ~t Joey. Why J~t Mrs. Jock: Mr. Finn, what Prospective Student: Hi, ya my oyer there, m t~t empty lot, IS educational value is there at name is Joey Jock and this is my piled all the makings for a brand MOTff' • mudda and my fadda. : • ~ew 3,000 s~t fieldhouse. T~s Adm: rnr.: I am glad . you Adm. Dir: Glad to.meet you f1eI<:111ouse 1s a very_ special • mentioned that Mrs. Jock. Why fine people. by the way how is proJe~t to all of us h~re at MOTI:I, let's just walk over to Linus. Hall everything down in Jersey. You especially_ because 1t h~s been m and look at our fine facilities. By }mow. we always get a lot of the planrung stages smce 1966. the way, rn nave ·you 'kriow that students from down your way. A Mr. Jock: What do/ou _use for our A.P.C. is bringing about·some fine area of this country, which the prese!1t moment. _ fine programs for your·Joey. For has really contributed greatly to Adm. Dir:: Well Mr. Jo~k, nght instance. by next year we should the growth of MOTH College. over there on the mall. IS where have an Eleinentary Education • Mr. Jock: Yeah. not a bad we s~t up portable baskets and Program. A Special Education pla~e to live as long as we can elecbc heaters so our pl~yers can Program. ~nd even 'a Nursing keep those coloreds.from moving play ':herever thel want. _Over Program for any'girlSwho come . into the neighborhood. there. m that tent, 1s the office of to MOTH. • • Mrs. Jock <hastily changing 1?e head basketball coach, Ron . Mrs. Jock: Well it sure is good the subject 1: My what a beautiful 1' uelm~n. We had to make the to see some ·one working hard college you have here Mr. Finn, ~st with wh~t. we have, ever these days. . • - . _ •• • • could you possibly show .us smce the or1gir:ial gym was Mrs. Jock: You know John,' J around. condemned back m 1974. Part of am very pleased with MOTH. in Adm. Dir.: I'll be glad to show the P!Oblem- has been_ that fact these were the ·very same you around. in fact we'll start •off -alumru. you know notthat many programs that we fought for at right here by going right over to people come to MO.TH a~ymor~. Marist College iii. Poughkeep~ie Leonidoff Lake. This.is easily the For some reason, these kids don t back in 1973_· . . •• • i:,' most versatile of all our facilities care. ·especially with the present : Mr:Jock:What difference does andasyoucanseeitisutilizedby political system being the way itinake! • both the football and the soccer that it is. teams. It has other advantages. Mr. Jock: I don't understand it· in that. the crew and the sailing either. Goliath. l do think that if teams can also make fine use ol every • kid played football or The Tourney: Twas the hour of the tourney and all through the gym, Balls kept bouncing and hitting the rim. The coach home from lhe Derby and the Doc out on bail, Started to pray. that the foxes wouldn't· fail. The seniors rode "high" on the dreams _of first, But the betting went against lhe "smoke" of Fairhurst. Coach kept dancing and clapping alot, • Buthis hopesweredyingof seeing Joe Scott. When all of a sudden there arose a great clatter, Martell had arrived but twenty pounds fatter. Off the bench jumped a junior in fear, Hoping that :Larry-hadn't found his beer ' . . The cheerleaders were shocked and slang did t}ley cuss, • When the opposition started to crawl off their bus. . . '• ·- ,;.. .... --~ :· .. ,_; ....... , - .,. ,., ., • . .-. . .... _ ... -··:~ . The faris saw them·-·riext and became morose, : They were bigani:i Ugly and slobbfah ~d gros~.. • ... ' ... - .. -- - - - ... . ... .. ~ ,. They-showed. no-morals, ~th nor .~ir- .. · · . . . And ripped_dowµ the banners that.were hung with care. · .The visjtors.W:ore-lightJ>lue, silver ~-d grey, . WhileJ:T:stood.helpless to turn thevets_away. ' ' .. ~ ~ . . . • ••. ~ . .', I stood .iii ~we of. the-.visitors height, , ' . · And reaiized-the.chance of-victory was slight .. Th~y dribbieci>thi; ;ii~i;:~o.flaw did 'they show, . Their co~ch .sho:w~ .. signs only Qinzberg would know. . Over to the scorers.table.our-coach ran in a scurry, Shouting tQ Hc~rt, to shoot in a hurry. • . - . '· ~- i~ up Jim.·:.'· 0 UP.AL,'!·_ .. lJP:joHN," UP MIKE," • J)r. I'llsho\\'. you a .treatm~nt·a masoc~tW()llld like.' . -- .. llis screams and.his plans w~nt to no avail, . . 1•:or it seemed Qbvfous the. visitors· would prevail. ~d' e;en· tho~gli'we: pr~yed to good fairi~s .• The f9xes fell to the mounties of St. _Mary's. it. basketball .. like Joey .here, we Mrs. Jock: Mr. Finn, why are would have no problems in all those· cars parked alongside America. By the way, was that the field like that'? basketball coach, Fuelman, the Adm. Dir;: The reason.for that head of athietics here? l\lrs.'Jock is purely behind the Adm. Dir:·: No Mr, Jock, th~ MOTH College football coach. By director of Athletics is a mah strategically locating the named Doctor Silverman. He is Chit.rR qshiti:t: with apologies to Clement Moore - . - Student. Gov't. ... M·. ·a·•·;,,-_·. ;{-0· •. :f· _,_~:-;;_,:T_. =·h··e Ye·a r .. ·•1:1 ·' . '•·· ·:1· ,· - ,· There is something about a monster. except that they both "r~ds an_d shavin~. He is also ~ell In-Action· man who looks toward tomorrow. live in the water .. _ .. .· ........ _ knoy;~ lor sweatmg and reading There is also something unique Ther:e· is .. a .. qu~~k -wit .. ll,bQut : books with yellow, pink or blue . about a man who can look at Hushin. His minds work in covers. When asked about the yesterday and accept it and only computer like fashion .. lle-is well ,.award. all he co1:1ld respond was. try to improve upon it. Chipster known for brea~ing. d09rs.and "l!olq_,_the Va1tor. Hold the asked. off the record, whether the thing that we had no more of was spelled ''Funds'' or "funs." After resoiving this important issue, the ( 'ouncil decided to discuss the annual Student Government Dinner and the prizes that would '>e awarded to the members of .-;tudcnt Government. The following awards were decided on: "Most Well-Rounded Student" went to Joe Cocopardo. who by this time had sent a note from his mother saying why he couldn't be at the meeting. The next award. for , "Best Management of. Funds" (and YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE !!!! E.O.G. AND NATIONAL DEFENSE LOANS ARE NOW IN AT THE BUSINESS OFFICE funs, too, for that matter> was given to Halph Ranellone. with special thanks for being so good at ··balancing" the books. <After taking two years of accounting courses. Halph could pull the :,vool over people's eyes almost as well as the presiden.t of IBM>. Finally. Bob Nelson was presented with two awards, for "Hardest Worker'' and for .. Clearest Minutes." ."I would haveprcfereda new tyji'ewriter,". Bob commented, "since my old one seems to get fouled up with dust· all the time. And if anyone has . the code book for the minutes. would he please return it'! .. But the awards were not over yet -- . the Elite· Council had • reserved a special one for "The Best President We Ever Had" to be given to President • Bernard Mulligan for "that aura of m~jesty. • • for unprecedented heroism in the face of the College Council <in one of its ugliest moods>, and for unrivalled courage and fearless action when confronted by an angry President 1of a different· stripe> in Washington, D.C. In presenting the award, the esteemed Cocopardo, who by that time arrived.-vsaid- "Bernie certainly was the . best president we ever had. Ifhe ever wants any kind of recommendation, he'll know where he can ·go for it." With that, the Council adjourned, setting its next meeting for July 4, 1976. "That'll give the Circle enough time to print up the results of the meeting, and I just love a parade," was heard in the . commotio~ as the meeting broke up. l{m,hin is neither of these things. blaming it on editors. But what \'aitor. . On April 26th at the Jack in the stands .out is _his .sturdy driving · • l'~ip does not know what to do. Box in Newburgh. New Yorlt: ability. fie.is the first man in,tbe .. besides the fact that he couldn't Chip Hushin will be honored a·s History of the Mid Hudson Valley do it anyway. He doesn't look the - man of the year · • by· the to make a U TURN on route nine back to yesterday to correct his Brothers of the Rhyme of the and go -back in the· _same-direc-. · ntjstakes ... He doesn't remember Ancient Mariner. For years they tion. .. • yesterday. - he spent the day have studied him andfinally have lie convincingly-t_o]d us tbat he; . passed out. . . . - given up. According to th_eir- does not lose ~ste.mper,·drink.. . lie doesn't look towards leader Tim Short, "Chipster has swear or steal although he admits tomorrow as a new day. He proven to be more animal like that he does lie ori occasion: One. knows he won't change. • He and· ·grotesque than. anyone :we ,has to ·believe;.· this·• pathetic . al\\'.a~s was. is, and always have ever honored." Short denied looking behomethe. • • . i:emains the same. . rumors that Rushin may be a His hobbies .. -include,-b.eing, That's.why there is something descendant of the ANCIENT gullible:. breaking:. out, eating. -,special abo.ut a man who lives for MARINER but said "no com- flies.· going on any bus· trip to • ~ay. but doesn't know what day ment"to any connection ~etween Mount- Vernon;.. throwing. ski. it is... • .. , . the winner and the Locknest ja~ket.fits and .eating. the right. :. So hail to the winner - the Man . • of the Year. Who -Is:-Doin,i -f.Pli8f;:-T;;~:w;;;;;;; Terry. heard your new ••• · • ·• .. · :· ~ -• • : IMlm: 9 9 im • ® IL' 11iisssi!ml girlfrieod. is the IBM computer walking down the hall. "And • ~L • • ,giving out·sometype of figures>. there I·was standing onJop·of a · 4 nl S ""4?€.K, • Eric. hasn't been seen since the mountain. Naked. to the"world" .. ~ bri. nl')s ' last night in the rat; he was seen What is Pauline talking about? I . ":JI . M runni~ away saying "willard o_h. she is "working, OU! a, sah:is m :. . Stgni ""tcan" w Ben. willard, ben, ah, ah" <note pitch for· tomorrows .. tr1p to the~- ' ·• t' • \ I he also had a bottle of wine in his I•"antastisks. Bob, I know we are W -,. l" · hand>. George, how is "refer supposed to get students to· come if , • \ ~ "$ l • Madness" coming? Jack L. the to our events, but-hiring a topless $. * Wine houses are flying fin~. Jim, 11 go g? da!1cer is a bit to much. ii . Se ( Vet S., M what really happend m the "Beheve·1t or not. I am-not really h s · ~ • P f ~,-. previews- of . carnal here.".D.A. l)rennan, Well,·if·you I. \) Ypr l se s. r knowledge??????? Carla. is it believe him. I am alive and well j · f • ·» true what they say happens at the and Jiving in the-middle of a six ID ·. · · A O Of( Sh I Cub meetings? "Hey Brian, . pack • G. Mcalone .. For .the· fifth )l · • · • L fil "Ho~ soon can we . get Ui;it and last time'. as president of the f . p Ur<.n QSe. ff married couple down here to C.U.B.. Idonothave.the power to 4 . , . • .~~ lecture on sex, education?" Brian pardon any tra[fic _, yiolations. ; W:l ( l (eo.6-t.o m - I guess as .. soon as we can pull ,Jack. "I can't believe Jack wants ;;:,~ A· A . • · · - @ them apart. :8ey Joe Brosan, we !}le to have all.these papers do~e -~ • \"'\ .("'\11,.USl\'\ g ~i are. never gomg to make money ma.hour". WeH :use the eJectr1c ITT . - • • @ on the.candy if you keep giving ty~cw~!.ter. "Whats a '.~yper- • ·t':rnCOOY\iel: @ out free candy to every girl ,vriter? • Cathy. Jl · • 1·· • G'O W°t'l'M 11"! _. "