- SUNOCO - Tuesday. July 17th, 1934, GOOD EVENING EVERYBODY:- I suppose a sense of humor is a wonderful thing, but it can go too far. There*s a story in the news today that makes me realize what a dangerous thing a sense of humor can be. Ever so often, too often in fact, I get a call-down for some wisecrack or mild joke of which I have been guilty on the air. People write in and say: T,Don*t be frivolous, don*t be facetious about serious things.” ?rell I can only say that I*m as solemn as an owl compared with that jokester in today*s news. In the metropolis of New York stands that great frowning prison, the Tombs, as • ill-omened as its name. In the bright summer sunshine a German band was playing on the sidewalk outside, just at the foot of the grim walls. There were a couole of big horns, and another horn not so big, and a clarinet. The horns went." wnup* oompah-oompah”, and the clarinets tootled”, away. That German band loudly played a soulful melody, the INTRODUCTION - £ languid strains of ;'The Prisoner’s song”, nnd that’s when the trouble began. Inside of the Tombs seven hundred prisoners broke into wild comiaotion. They howled and yelled with jeers, oat-eallo'. They screamed through the bars»ett They took off their shoes and beat on the bars. The noise could be heard for blocks. But still the German band played on, louder than ever. The horns boomed and the clarinet shrilled in the plaintive melody that goes with the words: "If I had the wings of an angel, G * er these high prison walls I would fly." No wonder the prisoners hollered and howled and banged away at the bars. Somebody was making fun of them. Maybe somebody was trying to break their hearts. And the uproar grew louder than ever. Maybe there might have been a prison riot — maybe an outbreak of mutiny. A warden hurried to the German band. "Stop that," he shouted, "stop playing that." INTRODUCTION -3 T*Ve canTt stop,*' explained the leader of the band* "Somebody gif us a dollar und a half to comeM fei*ft^*a^play dat A A * song Yes, some jokster had given the German band a dollar sx 1 ; I and a half to play the "Prisoner's Song" beneath the walls of the Tombs. Well, if that a sense of humor 1*11 be a Gloomy Gus. I won't try any joking in the news tonight. "Life is real, life is earnest", as the poet says. And I'm the Sunoco Gloomy Gus of the Air,'tevw-^t^ PHILIPPINES mtt-Tiirtiw Ttiu Ltris^ serious story. It concerns one of the most critical spaces on the map -- Eastern Asia. We understand, of course, that the independence of the Philippine/sT wiML alter the whole political situation out there. The question has been asked repeatedly — can the Philippines, by themselves, reserve their independence? That adds a large element of importance to the news from Manila that the Philippine authorities are planning a powerful army. *7Tlt will number at least fifty thousand men, and will be equipped right up to the minute with modern armament. The present Philippine Constabulary and Philippine Scouts will probably be the nucleous around which the new military establishment will be built. Both the Constabulary and the Scouts have been built up by the American military authorities out there — American training, American equipment and American officers. It is expected that many of the American officers might want to remain in the Islands and join the new army. They will be given every opportunity, and will be favored when the commissions are handed out BABY Itfs hard to be a Gloomy Gus with this next bit of news* In fact, it’s impossible* The most ill-natured face in the world would break into a broad smile of sympathy and gladness. The kldn&ppid baby is back at Ilartsdale, New York, the Connor Baby that has been missing for four days. That twenty-four month’s old child vanished into blank mystery. And there was the usual frantic search by the parents, by the authorities, by the whole community. There was something unusually pathetic about it all, with a family of small children asking for their baby brother. Prayers were offered up at churches* And Governor Lehman of New York, and his wife went personally to the Connor family to console them and if possible help in the search. But the child could not be found. The ease sank into the dull horror of a kidnapping crime. But this afternoon the Connor Baby was found. The bulletin describes the child as unharmed, well-fed, and smiling. XxuKdsxxlaKit He could not have survived for those four days if he had been merely strayed or — without food or water. Presumably somebody did kidnap him, and then set him free -**• afraid 01 the consequences. BABY -2 Any kidnapping is grim and dis^rtening to ink fi ^ thousands. When it’s a small child, people simply grit their teeth. The kidnapping of Charlie Ross those many years ago is still a living legend. And it looked as if the case of the Connor baby might turn out that same way — unsolved, a tragic blank, infinitely sad. But now Baby Connor has returned — and there’s a smile for you, a smile for us all, especially those who are parents in the r^-r*-we stern state of Washington things are gloomy — for the rattlesnakes. Near Coulee City there1s a vast exodus of reptiles. The rattlesnakes are moving out by the thousands. And the reason is — blasting. They are building a big dam dout there, and also a lot of roads. In doing this they are shooting an awful lot of dynamite. Hind the rattlesnakes' donft l ike the noise. It hurts their ears. The naturalists say they are el so annoyed by the shaking of the ground. That’s why they are leaving. So here’s a word of gloony warning. Don’t do any blast­ ing in your neighborhood because if you do it will drive the ra111 e sn a ke s a vva y. COTTON ^ •’ s any tr> ing; to kill any hod y * s t0Jr<pt.at5 on to .joke ann 1 • • j * 'i't s h ' Jot of f 1 ^‘>ires, so let* s begin, with five million two r unored ^nd forty-throe thousand, nine hundred and thirteen dollars and fiftytwo cents. That!s the amount of money the ysswx government has paid to the Louisiana* farmers for the cotton control oroeram. The farmers got the money for plowing under some of their crops, in addition they have gained twenty million dollars more because of the increase of cotton prices, and now they are exoeeted to pocket twenty million dollars more from further in­ crease in cotton prides. This is according to figures given out by the Louisiana State University. And it’s an example of better conditions that are said to prevail throughout the cotton-growing South. X tT s a lot of extra, money for the farmers, with which they will be able to buy stacks of new pitchforks — also a few radios, tennis racouets and streamline cars. * The Political news from H -v, York tells how Mayor La Guai cii^ Li a a deed of civic justice with a baseball. It seems that a bunch of kids were olayinr baseball in a vacant lot., where battin- and throwing the ball was forbidden. The cop came alone, onaSea t,:e kids away, and rrabbed the ball. That was all according to law, save that it wasn't one of those common two -bit or fifty cent pieces of junk. It was a regular dollar—and* 7F h half R-> g Leapue h>- s»bal 1. ‘ So the boys .appealed to the Mayor, saving that no officer of the law eves* in the course of his duty had the right to confiscate a dollar and a half baseball. And the Mayor agreed. Somehow he couldn't get the confiscated sphereoid back, maybe the coo's kids were playing with it in that same vacant lot. So he got one from Colonel Jake Runnert, the benevolent ov/ner of the Yankees. The kid nine called at the City Hall, where the Mayor ms-de s. soeeeh and nended them the ball * ice boys went rejoicing to play ball in that same vacant lot no doubt, while nhe Mayor sat in his office, meditating uoon the new develop­ ments of Tammany Ha if _ the choice of a new ringmaster for the Ti-uOmril'! Y 2 Tammany tiger. Fiorello La Guardia seems to have wide political ambitions* That would appear to be indicated by his recent coast to coast broadcast of the accomplishments of his administration. And we may see a stirring political battle between the chunky little Italian Mayor and the tall fighting Irishman who now leads Tammany — James J. Doollng. He's a battling Tammany district leader, used to the rough-house and wild politics in Hew York. He was born and bred to the no] i tic a 1. ways and strategies of Tammany, His father was a big old time Tammany leader, and when he died young Jimmy succeeded him as the heir to the leadership. Yes, it all reeks of Tammany and. rough-house , and of machine politics in New York. A biographical note on Jimmy S Doollng has many refreshing contrasts. He was a flashing ath- 1 cii"p in co~^ 1 ege, a football and. baseoall star at rordhdiii. ilis rtf, $ <rV-€^v nose is a. bit out of shape, He had it broken so often playing football. And then they tell of the wild slide to third base the ba.Tl and broke hi s lep. He has a war record, as a. lieutenant in the trendies in France, also a scholastic record — at one time he taught Latin and Greek in Fordham, Quite a broth of a boy is Jimmy Dolling. And quite a broth of a boy is Jim Farley. The selection of Dooling as the new leader of Tammany is a decisive triumph for Postmaster Farley, Re was starving the Taramanyites — no Federal jobs unless they came to terms. Jimmy Dodging had the O.K. of the master of the Post Office and the master of the jobs. So his selection lines Tammany up with genial Jim, the adminis­ tration and the ^ew Deal. nrERivi A..N DEBT Unc j e So. in is insi si ing on getting what ’ s coming to him. The Secre^^ry ot Stete hes eddiTessed another communication to the German Government, in this second message it says just •bout what the 'i rst one did — only more emoh'n.i cal ly. The Berlin government went ahead and declared a mori- torium on its foreign debts. England orotested and demanded that British investors in German securities should be paid. The Germans came to an agreement, saying — yes, they would pay the interest on their British obligations as it fell due. Whereupon V.ashin-ton suok^ up and demanded: "V,e ,vant trie same favorable treatment that the British are aetting.n That vc s several weeks a -o ?nd since then no reply has come from Germany* Bo now the oecretapy of State has rcop'-: ted the demand. T is second -lessage ends with blunt emohasis. iimhe American government,u it reads, n;mist request an early indication on the oart uf the Ger an government of the Treasures whi ch it rjrocoses to i '"Ic0* ; i r ■ . . ' ' ' GSfifcAli Pi^T 2 b- American investors hold about six hundred million dollars worth of German foveminent bonds. Why shouldn’t they get the same treatment? as Englishmen who hold similar bonds? I supnose the turmoil over in Germany has delayed an answer to the American demand. c __ mammm STRIKE oomehow I can.tt be such a Gloomy Gus about things out in California. Of course, the strike is ^in a state of tremendous tension, with the great city of San Francisco KiiraiHKi ±* clutched in a grip or Iron. It's almost like a beleaguered town in the grasp of war, with soldiers on guard, military uniforms, naked bayonets and the other menacing panoply of armed strife. But the Californians seem to be taking their difficulties good-naturedly, though the great general strike has certainly up-set their routine of living. The tie-up of transport has put people on roller-skates^ Business girls are skating to work? and society girls, short of gasoline for their auto­ s'' mobiles^ have been oxcating to debutante parties. Theresa* been a run on chocolate bars and cookies, with A people stocking up on these danties in anticipation of a food shortage. Sporting goods stores report that they are selling more fire-arms than they ever sold before --not to the strikers, but to ordinary citizens who are afraid of general disturbances STRIKE -2 You ?;ould think a prosperity wave had struck the city you listened tO' the panhandlers. Instead of asking for the usual dime, theyTre demanding fifty cents, and if you inquire in a tone of horror, "fifty eents? How come?”, the panhandler will explain that he wants to join the longshoreman’s union. Of course, the longshoremen are not working, and the pahhandler doesn’t want to work anyway. His idea in joining the union is to get free meals at the strikers soup kitchen. One barber-shop displays a sign:- "Closed for the duration. I’ve gone fishing. Why don’t you?" Other barber- shops are closed with the sign:— "Out of soap." STRIKES - 3 About the most startling development today seems to have been a raid on a Communist meeting, by the police and the National Guard* With pointed machine guns they jumped in on the Communists and took away two hundred prisoners. Governor Uerriam of California has ordered food to be moved in by trucks, and ordered the trolley cars to state running under guard. This indicates clearly enough that the State government is determined that the strike shall not reduce San Francisco to any great condition of distress. In a way, the most omnious news comes from parts outside of San Francisco «*•* from all over the country. It has been predicted that the Frisco general strike would intensify labor unrest from one coast to another, with a wave of strikes. And, this seems to be the case. Union labor has walked out at Oakland, Berkely and Alameda, across the bay from San Francisco, and labor tension throughout. California* Then in the Riddle West, in Minneapolis, six thousand truck drivers are out today and the troops were called out STRIKE - 4 There's a textile strike in the South, Alabama. Twenty thousand workers out. In Houston, Texas, the police are on guard at the docks « another longshoreman strike, in which three people hare been killed. Another Texas walkout concerns women in, the pecan shelling trade. Eight thousand demanding higher wages. In Hew England the labor trouble is in the hat industry. Hat factories in Connecticut are closed. We seem to be approaching a climax of that spread of labor unrest which has been increasing for a year or more. Some attribute it to the liberal policies of the Hew Deal. Others explain it as an ineritable consequence of economic recovery, and point out that the working man, relieved of the hopelessness of the depression, is in the mood to press his demands. That would seem to tie the San Francisco general strike and the labor difticulties throughout the country to the general movement of the times -- all of which makes it more serious than mere sporadic outbursts would be. ADD STRIKE - 5 The officials of the administration are sharply aware ef this — President Roosevelt in particular* He is out at sea a thousand miles off the coast of Mexico; supposed to he fishing off Clipperton Island. But 1*11 bet he*s neglecting his hooks and line and sinkers. An incessant stream of ether waves is flashing between Clipperton Island and the city on the Potomac as the government head s in Washington keep the President informed of the labor crisis. Miss Prances Perkins, Secretary of Labor sits at her desk, in Washington, in cease­ less radio communication with the President, out there on the Pacific. It*8 all mighty serious news. But why be a Gloomy Gus. It’ll all work out some how probably for the best. And may the best man win. But that’s getting frivolous again. So I guess I’d better day, SO LONG UNTIL TOMORROW.