k G-ERMANT /. ’•Good appetite folks" — that’ ■ In s a common salutation trie European countries. But in Germany tde hearty greeting will be. the reverse. "Bad appetite, mein herr." Fritz." im- i »i "I hope you '( A propaganda of hardship is on in Germany. The Nazis know the value of publicity and propaganda, and they are putting on a big campaign to try and offset the food shortage that seems to be coming. Hitler, himself, sounded the keynote in his big speech at Colbenz. "The greater the distress," he shouted, "the greater will be our defiance and ..........— /r~... by Doctor Schac^t, the Minister of Economics, who in a speech at the Leipzig Mercantile Fair put it this way:- "We must be \ prepared," he warded the crowd, "to face with great soberness the ecolomie emergency which international policy has forced upon 4s*” CZ>" And now, the ingenious Goebel&s, Minister of Propaganda, is following on with a nation-wide wave of propaganda to prepare the mood of the nation xor privations i ■ 11 GSBMANY -2 to come J Itfs all carefully timed. The food crisis will not reach the average German home for the next six months. By that time Goebel4.s expects to sell the people the idea it that^is noble to accept privation cheerfully^and work up a stoical spirit and even make the Germans eager to face distress for the sake of the Fatherland— J?__ laughter There’s some mighty serious news from Red Russia today it’s about laughter. Laugh Communist, Laugh! Or in other words ~ laugh and the Bolsheviks laugh with you, A congress of Soviet writers^now going on,has decided that their £ Red Revolutionary literature is too serious and solemn. The Communist s are serious people t with souls as long and solemn as a treatise by Earl Marx^ One Soviet writer told how he wrote a funny skit. It was very funny. It had a laugh in every line. He took it to one of the most important of Moscow’s editors. The editor read the script, and frowned, ’’This is humorous,” he growled gloomily. "This will make people laugh,” he scowled, "T will not print anything funny,” he ajkafcra*! tragically. ”It is too early for our proletar- n A A “ f ian people to laugh. Let our enemies laugh,” I don’t suppose the writer laughed at that, because it V it’s no, joke when you can’t sell a joke, 3 But anyway, the Congress of Communist authors has decided — it's ail wrong. They' re .going to make people laugh. with chuckles and guffaws all iUie way from Leningrad to laughtep ENDING -2 Vladivostok, And all Russia will be juat one grand eiiorus of giggling BolsiievikjU Well, It’s a fine idea to make people laugh, if you can do It. The Russians may find out, as we Americans know, that it’s not so easy to send people Into stitches. But they’re on the right track, and I’d like to do all I can to help them, I could tell them a funny story that they could use **- it certain- ly would bring the house down in Moscow, It's the one that tells how Stalin, the Red Dictator, fell in the river and nearly drowned. But a young fellow came along and xxxni: fished him out. Stalin coughed up a bucketful of water and then said;- ’’Young man, do you know who I am?”. wNo(” responded the rescuer. "Well then, I’ll tell you,” proclaimed the Red Dictator. ”1 am Stalin* ffiiat can I. do to reward you?” "sell, I'll tell you,".his rescuer pleaded, "please don't tell anybody I pulled you out." IP i|| ■ i * H he, nni te a help to those Yes, that ?tory should he quite a iiexp tiumor^tie over in Moscow who are looking for jok ZAHAROFF v;nce more that man of mystery appears in the headlines. He talks fourteen languages like a native. He has been called a Greek( a Russian, a lew. Some say he was born in Constantinople, others in Village of AnatHolia. Some say his childhood was harsh with Oriental poverty. Others declare that he went to school at England's aristocratic Rugby. He just smiles through his trim white whiskers and let's people guess. VMn-d Zaharoff has____ A It doesn't seem so astonishing that Sir Basil the manufacture of munitions is name me, A where. They say that letters of his Tiave been found in the files in the United States. His name means munitions of war every- A of armament manufacturers over here, and that these letters will cut a lot of ice with the special Senate Investigating Committee. Well, one could go on for an hour telling odd and mysterious things about him. He wears the Grand Cross of the Legion of Honor of France, but he's not a Frenchman. He was knighted by His Majesty, the iSigJ^and^has been publicly spoken of as the voice behind the British throne — chough Z&HAROFF -2 he's not an Englishman* At the age of seventy he married the Duchess of Mar china, a relative of Former King Alfonso of Spain* He is said to have waited for her for fifty years* She died two years after the wedding. And now Sir Basil Zaharoff, the man of mystery, seems to be mixed up in pur own American Munition* tangle. And it doesn't seem so surprising* frTKlA.fr. There' - on, er.fr e t,, r.he tex controversy in NeW York, Winer1 mss nut.ion-wide significance. Mayor La Guardis is tryinp to out through a general tax on business to finance relief work. One argument against it comes from the employers who point out that in case of * labor disputd^’ strikers would be provided for out of t.ho tux collected front business. In. other words, employers hel ninp to finance, strikes among their own employees. pr Of course this is «££ right el.ong the line of what Federal Relief Administrator Konkins, has told us yesterday, that Ms bureau v-'i 1.1 help to feed strikers. He says that it isn't his business to a sk why a person is destitute , v/hether he can't find work or i s on strike. * It* s up to. o'..her govern­ ment agencies to decide whether a walk-out is justified or ot. This is causing a bit.tcr agriimant., especially in view f the textile strike, called for beutember 4th. With half j wt11 soon be destitute [ mill inri ..orkers walking out, r.hoi • no i n nesr) of oubli c re 1 . ef , Meanwhile, the national.Labor Board has called a meeting j bTKI r.j;- h of the t ex til e boeses =.nd workers for tomorrow or the next df.y in VVasMnrton. ft settiement is honed for, but there's ■ftore trouble in the wind with the manufacturers of the Cotton Oar men t Industry, giving the President a flat turn-down. An executive order from the White House recently'fsSI*^ that waaes be raised and working hours be The nanufacturr now declare outricht that they will ighore the order. They won * t nay :iore vvages_, and they wonf t cut hours. This is the first, tine a. whole industry has issued a major defiance to an executive decree under the NRA, Other strike items show that ten thousand truck-men in New York are threatening to quit, while on the other hand, five thousand striking painters in New York have gone back to work. And we hear more hooe^tto^, word of a probable settlement of the Aluminum walk-out. One interesting bit &S* miem.’loymeuf relief comes in a decision made by Relief Director Corel. His nutrition experts pointed out to him that women commonly eat less than , a down the food checks issued to men. and so they suggested cuff bTKlivb 3 women. "Nothing doing," said Mr, Corsi, t should smv that the nutrition experts are probably right in saying that women eat less than men, but Relief Director Cor si is also right. Cutting down on the women would, certainly raise one awful hnlabaloo. P fresichnt A militiary secret has. been, revealed, a warlike, hidden maneuver that attended the President’s review of tne cadets at test Point, President RooseveltTs Military Aide is Colonel Edmund Watson.,, and, a most martial figure is the Co lone 1. 0 o r t does .likea thrilling .hero of t»ai^ On the train the Colonel started to put on his dress 'uniform. As he was to accompany the President it was necessary for him. to look as splendorous as Mars, the god of war. He had his eapuleis, sword, spurs and gold braid, but where were his suspenders? He knew that he wouldn't have any time to buy a new pair at West Point. . And he certainly could not appear at that Presidential dress, parade without any suspenders. The possibilities are obvious, terrible to think of. Suppose the Colonel, Military Aide to the President of the United States were to lose his trousers at the parade. The very idea was a mental torture to the Colonel. PRESIDENT -£ But he had a brilliant idea. He rang for the porter, the familiar, useful Pullman porter. "u-eorge,” said the Colonel, "how do you keep your pants up?" "Why boss, ^wears suspenders.” ( ”Give Tem to me,” commanded the Colonel. a M-frera 1 —'tri^nd George took off his- 111 susoenders and handed them over. I donft know about what happened ■i,|i 1 ' !|f ■ ■':ii i|t 11 to his trousers but the Coloners honor -was saved. And, that *3 ho?/ it was that the President’s Military Aide cut a dazzling figure -at the dress parade, in his own epaulets, sword, spurs, and gold braid -- and the Pullman porter’s suspenders. limskergh There are plenty of astonishing things in the day's news, hut I don't know of anything more oddly unexpected than to find that Lindbergh is training to he a scientist — in fact described as a brilliant student of biology, mhis comes on the impressive authority of Doctor Alexis Carrel, the famous scientist of the Rockefeller Institute. “V Doctor Carrel is In Paris, and he is telling friends that Lindbergh has been studying biology under his direction* "You know his extreme modesty," Doctor Carrel is quoted as saying, "and what I am revealing to you about him, nobody in America suspects. He follows my courses assiduously, and has become my best assistant in biology. The name he will leave in science," the eminent oiologist continues, "will be as illustrious as that in aviation," The Rockefeller Institute refuses to make any comment on this rather startling statement, but it is revealed that some time ago a scientific publication printed an article on A Method for Washing Corpuscles in Suspension", and the article was signed A, Lindbergh. / 1Sa't that aStoniahin8 " Lindtergh a biologist? The Lo“e Eagle of the Atla^io. But then hie secreoy is e proverbial. He might easily become a scientist or a land. \8cape artist without anybody knowing KXX^u Ciihuj. would be a ,ood story plot In the romance of 4| lovlrv oouole, who In order to ret married, have to surmount enormous obstacles. An<J then, having coriouered all those obstacles by the most, arduous efforts, they, find that they don’t like each other and don’t want to get married, : heems as though there might be some sort of irony like I that, in the renowned romance between King Carol of Rumania and the red-headed enchantress, Madame Lupescu. There has been !| bitter opposition in Rumania to King Carol’s long drawn out affair of the heart, which caused him to break with the Queen. The most antagonistic stand was taken by the Iron Guard, Rumania1* Agrarian Party. Madame Lupescu Isa Jewess. The Iron Guard is anti- Semitic. The news during the past year has brought accounts of their denunciations and their threats against the King, &nd the King’s lady-love. Of recent days however, it looked as if won out. Nearly all of the Pumainion statesmen were won over to tier side, and even the amend men t to the ag 7 *(a<=>df a nd w<=»nt so fa.r as to pro;iose an constitution permitting the King to contract a nor, iX 4V7. C.«.nuL 2 marriage with his chermer of the filming tresses. There was a little surorlse? when the King, himself, objected to this cunstitution el amendment• Bnt peonle merely winked and smiled. They said he was .lust being a bit cautious. He was eager to marry La Lupescu,? but star didn’t want to rush matters. Now however, the romantic plot is turned topsy turvy by the rumour that they have parted. It’s certain that Madame Lup«scu has left her bungalow near the royal castle. She took the train for Vienna, stopped there briefly, and hurried on to Paris. Of course, she may be merely on a visit to ber beautiful twenty-year old cousin, wtesssfcW now the, bride of the seventy year old Doctor Voronoff, who some years ago made quite a stir with his rejuvenation operations, monkey glands. Maybe the Doctor was proving the value' of his. own raedecine when he married the twenty-year old beauty. Madame Luneseu, herself, is said to have arranged the wedding of age and youth. Xes. maybe she’s just on a visit to the old-young couple, to see how they are pettifog on. But 1nsis ten t rumonrs KING. C arol 3 Vwp it that it is real !y a break-up of the royal, romance. They fought against, the whole world to be together. And now, allowed to be together — they part. Somehow it sounds like what the philosopher EJ.ietz.che called 'fcuman, ^11 Too Human. OBERAMMAGATJ Let’s phrase this romantic announcement as follows:— Mary Magdalene has got married. Yes, Mary Magdalene of the Passion Play at Oberammagau. She’s pretty Klara Mayr, twenty-five years old. The bridegroom is the son of Anton Lang, famous for his impersonation of the Savior. There was a celebration igQqpr the wedding of a 'V A kingpin the little Bavarian village of Oberammagau. For the actors in the Passion Play are the nobility of the town, and the family of Anton Lang, the noblest of all. And, they're coiling to America, Mary Magdalene and her bridegroom. For young Anton Lang has been engaged to teach German in one of our own universities LONDON At this moment there is complete silence in London, The streets of trie -oriti sh metropolie sire as quiet as a rustic lane in Sussex, Automobiles run along without any screeching of brakes, back-fire of open exhausts, clashing of gears, or toot­ ing of horns. This is the result of London,s new anti-noise law, 5»hich went into effect tonight. It forbids all of those noisy automobile practices which so often make a European city a bedlam of clanging and honking. The law is drastically severe. For blowing of hors, it imposes a fine of ten dollars a toot, or hoot, as they say in England, And a demon horn honker could run up quite a tidy bill at that rate, if he went tooting all the way from Billings­ gate to Tooting. So no wonder London is quiet tonight, I suppose I had better be quiet too. Time^ up and even the N.B.C. might fine me ten dollars a toot, so with one ii I II last hoot -- SO LONG UNTIL TOMORROW