ALBANIA
4T7
In his palace at Tirana sits King Zog, Monarch of
Albania, There•s always plenty of trouble in the world,
and there*s usually trouble-plus — in Albania* SstJAssaar
This time, there's
a revolt in Southern Albania, a revolt against King Zog,
uit~aj2a
Right now fighting Is going on between the royal army and the
rebels, in the steep valleys, and among the craggy highlands*
Some people over there in the Balkans are blaming Mussolini*
They say Italian agents have been fomenting the disturbance.
That sounds odd because King Zog was put on the throne with
Italian backing, Mussolini has a large interest in that wild
narrow
Balkan land, which lies just across the^mouth of the Adriatic,
across from the heel of the Italian boot.
Recently, however, King Zog has been making gestures
of friendship toward Jugo-Slavia. Italy has a long standing
rivalry with Jugo-Slavia. Hence, the rumor that the Buce's
men have incited the revolt which is flaring in Albania*
*
So King Zog sits in his palace at Tirana. He seldom
leaves the palace — it's too dangerous. As many as eighty
blood feuds have been declared against him, Albania ia a
ALBANIA - 2
land of mountaineering blood feudst as relentleas as the
Siolliaa vendetta, as deadly as the family wars on the
Afghan frontier! as ferocious as our own old time feuds in
the southern mountains.
They say King Zog doesn*t dare to get marriedt
because if he marries into one of the mountain elans, all the
others will be jealous and insulted, and they will declare
each a feud against him. He can*1 marry into them all, though
he is a Me hammed an, A Mohammed an can have only four legal
wives. Moreover, many of the clans are Catholic, and the Pops
has forbidden them to send any of their daughters to the harem
of Moslem King Zog.
So, he sits in his palace with his mother and four
sisters — and a heavy guard. And, all he does is smoke
cigarettes. He used to smoke a hundred and fifty a day -- to
quiet hie nerves. Nerves need quieting in Albania. He smoked
so much it turned him yellow. Hi s skin became as yellow as a
lemon. He went to Vienna, seeking a cure for that jaundice
discoloration. The doctors cut down his nicotene rations, and
ALBANIA - 3
new he smokes a mere fifty cigarettes a day*
Anyway* revolution has broken out in Southern
Albania* The soldiers are fighting the rebels* and Eing Zog
lights another cigarette
After all those grim and startling doings in Germany, herefs
an international complication that is cuite a tempest in a teapot.
The Swiss minister to Berlin can1! get his morning caper. There may
be Storm Trooper riots and a Nazi reign of terror but if the Swiss
minister doesnTt get his Swiss newspaper under the bottle of nnilk
every morning, there is going to be war - a newspaper war.
Since the recent upheaval all Swiss newspapers are banned
from Germany. Not a single morning edition or evening extra is al
lowed across the border from Zurich, Geneva or Lucerne. So the Swiss
minister is vowing by all the holes that are holy in Swiss cheese
that unless he gets his Sv/iss headlines he will see to it that the
German minister to Switzerland will not get any German seecial
extras, not a single Abendblatt, Zeitung oder Tageblatt.^nd if that
doesnTt work he is going to ask the Swiss government to keep
German newspapers out of Switzerland.
TBMMI3
The Britleh lien is doing some majestic soaring
these days Britt&nla rules, not only the
wav
es, Cut alee the
golf links and now the tennis courts. Sport fans all over
are talking about Fred Perry's slashing victory at Wimbledon.
With a flashing racquet he blasted the ball to the far corners
of the court and took a red hot victory from Crawford of
Australia, So Xngland has a tennis champion for the first time
since A. W. Gore won at Wimbledon twenty*five years ago*
Perry's explanation of his success is - long
trousers. The only comment he makee is that a fellow can do
better in long trousers on the tennis courts than he can In
shorts. On ths other hand our Helen Jacobs lays her suceese
to shorts which she wears* Maybe men are more modest.
Anyway, Fred wears 'em long, Helen wears 'em short,
and the Judges wear 'em backwards, I don't mean their trousers
but their field glasses. That was the prime novelty of the
occasion at Wimbledon, when the Judges put their field glasses
to their eyes with the wrong side forward. The idea was to
push things further sway. By looking through the glasses the
TSUIIS - 2
wrong way they could get the racquet, the hall, and the
player1e feet in the field of vision at the same time. In
that way they could toll better whether a player had his
foot on the line when he hit the hall.
So, with ttenvs pants long, ladies panties short and
field glasses reversed, John Bull won hie first masculine
tennis championship in twenty-five long years.
‘niwifiiBMfn iiii/ea''Yiiiii8ifti|i
And now the judgement of Judge Sohmuck. He was
handing down a decision concerning prizefighters. Net their
in-fightingt their haymakers, or their foot work •- hut their
hrains, if any*
Judge Sehmuck was hearing a case to decide who owns
the eighty-eight thousand dollars that was earners's cut in
the Baer fight* From the evidence, it was hard to tell whom
the money does belong to, although there's a pretty good
indication of whom the money does not belong to* It may
belong to Camera's manager, or to the waitress over in London
who has a heart-break judgement for fifteen thousand dollars,
or anyone of several other claimants* It maybe anybody's,
but it's not Camera's*
So Judge Sehmuck directed the light of his towering
legal mind upon the mentality and financial aptitude of box
fighters,
"You fighters," proclaimed Judge Sehmuck, "have no
brains." "Most of you are of so low mentality, that you don't
know money when you see it."
CABinSRA - 2
Sure, Judge, they see money and don't know It,
but there are some of us who would know, only we neyer see any.
Anyway, Judge Sohmuck says fighters have no brains,
and that certainly must irk the big punch comedial, Maxle Baer.
He's a smart guy. He says brains are his middle name, also
his initials, likewise, his monogram. As for Prime -- he just
shrugga his shoulders. He admits it.
"Sure Judge I no gotta da mon, -- no gotta da
brains
11
STRIKE
Let’s hope that we’ve seem the c1Imax^and.the beglnning-
of—the-end of that disasterous strike on the Pacific Coast,
It certainly would seem to be a climax when violence flared
to a gegu&ar pitched battle, with gun fire, hand to hand fighting,
and clouds of that new terrifying gas, nauseating gas.
Two people killed, seventy injured, and tonight four
thousand soldiers are patrolling the Embareadero, the San B’ran-
cisco waterfront.
The hope for an Ending lies in the power of the President’s
Arbitration Board. If the employers and the strikiag longshore
men don’t get together by midnight tonight, the Arbitration Board
will put into effect the powers granted to it by Congress. With
out either the employers or strikers participating, the Board
will draw up terms for a settlement*
This will be a significant chance to see what the govern-
The strike has been going on .with increasing violence
for two months. On May ninth, ten thousand dock workers,
walked out, dem&ndi#s union recognition, shorter hours, and
STRIKE -2
better pay. Later they dropped the demands for hours and pay, and
concentrated on the right to control the hiring of halls on the
water front. These are halls where longshoremen meet, and from
which they proceed in gangs to jobs on the docks*
What the men wanted was to control this mechanism of
hiring workers* The employers refused to agree. They wanted to
m±m
select their own gangs, and
max
not allow the workers to
hawe the selection. And so the strike went ©n and increased.
Fifteen thousand marine workers joined in a sympathy strike.
Already six men have been killed and millions of
dollars worth of foodstuffs and other perishable good® have
spoiled. Itfs high time for a settlement by the Arbitration
Board
or anybody
BROUGHT FOLLOW
ST
HIKE
That dock strike, of course, has been a hard blow
for the farmers on the West coast* They are losing hundreds
of thousands of dollars, while their crops and produce lie
rotting on the piers, waiting to be shipped*
But this has not yet affected the farmers in the
imperial Valley of extreme Southern California* They grow ,
winter vegetables in that blistering hot valley. Their crops
won't be ready for shipment for months yet*
Still they too have plenty to worry about — drought.
They say it's the worst drought in the history of California.
Water is desperately short* The mighty Colorado River is low*
So water is being rationed out for the Irrigation systems. The
word has gone out that no lawns shall be watered*
But, this is the last drought that Imperial Valley
will have to suffer. Next February Boulder Bam will be in
operation, with floods of water to irrigate the parched lands*
and among the first to benefit wili. be the Imperial Valley of
California, the land of winter vegetables, one of the hottest
spots on earth, down there below the level of the sea*
FARLEY
A couple of weeks ago President Roosevelt made a ring
ing
declaration of non-partisanship at Yale, He
discussed the unimportance of party politics in the New Deal,
He said ability counted in Washington now-a-days. And he
couldn’t tell what party half the officials belonged to —
if any. That's the Presidential philosophy of non-partisanship.
But Postmaster Jim Farley's non-partisan enthusiasm seams to be
•tmwMshade different,
A
Secretary of the Interior, Ickes, wanted an expert to
direct the Bureau of Mines, He selected Professor John Wellington
t»Si'
'
Finch, Dean of the University of Idaho School of Mines. Secretary
Ickes told the professor that President Roosevelt had approved of
the appointment. So Professor Finch showed up yesterday to take the
oath of office. Instead of taking the oath, he took the next
train back to Idaho,
It seems that the commission appointing him to the job
had been left unsigned by the President. There was a notation
on the document, that read
like this:- "Held up
temporarily on account of political objections by P. M, G,"
FARLEY-£
n
#i
What these political objections were is probably explained
by the revelation that Professor Finch wag a strong and out
spoken supporter of Hoover in 192a.
would seem that the enthusiastic non-partisanship
goes something like this:- "I don’t care what party a man belong®
to, so long as he1 ■ a Democrat
But, why eomplain about Postmaster Jim? His particular
brand of Democratic, Anti-Republican non-partisanship has been
the regular thing in American public life ever since Hector’s
grandfather was
a
pup
DIGEST
The Literary Digest poll on the New Deal is over*
The Digest polls have predicted presidents and prophesied
about prohibition with an uncanny accuracy* And now, we’ll
have a chance to see how accurately the big straw vote
is on the subject of the New Deal* The fall elections will
give us a check on that.
The poll began with the New Deal in the lead, it
continued the same way, and that’s the way it ends* The
final returns, with a total of a million votes, show the
three
President and his policies, a five to
mm
favorite. The
A,
The poll gives the President every state in the union.
"EMPEROR" NORTON
<D
Here’s about an emperor, His Majesty, Norton-the-Firstf
Emperor of the United States and Protector
of
Mexico*
No, ITm not dizzy* The emperor was!
Out in Califronia they are planning a monument to
His Majesty, Norton-the-First* Last week with all soitemnity
they gave him a second funeral, from the Masonic Cemetery, where
he had been buried for many a long year, to the Wood lawn Memorial
Park*
He was the most unique of monarchs* He was an English
Jew who came to California from Sofcth Africa during the gold
rush of *49* At first, Josuah Norton had no imperial dreams,
not even gold-camp-dreams-of-gold* He built his ambition on
rice* For in California-of-the-gold-camps, John Chinaman,
the celestail cook, the Far-Eastern washy-washy-man, was a
familiar friendly figure. The# old wild West was full of
the "Heathen Chinee*" And the ."Heathen Chinee" needed rice.
So Josuah Norton schemed a monoply of rice. He had the rice
market cornered, wher^two big boat-loads of rice arrived unexpect
edly at San Francisco from the Orient. That busted the corner on
rice. It also busted Joauah Norton — busted him financially,
"EMPEROR* MORTON -2
1
j
busted him a bit mentally. He was never quite the same in the
head afterwards*
He disappeared. No more was seen of him in the California
I
gold camps for years. When he returned he was a different man —
he was an emperor. He wore a shabby naval uniform of faded blue*
i
A tarnished sabre in a rusty scabbard dangled at his side. He
was always accompanied by two huge ferocious dogs, guardians of
his throne. He announced that the California Legislature had made
him Emperor of California* But, he didn't want to frighten the
government at Washington. He didn't want them to think he was
having California seceed from the United States. He was too
smart for that. He declared himself Emperor of the whole United
States. He also like the Mexicans. So he declared a protectorate
over Mexico*
Those were the expansive days of the old wild West, full
of generosity, lawlessness, shooting and good humor. The^ gold-
miners were amused by tfc* Emperor-Norton-the-First. They liked
him, humoured him, entertained him, paid mock homage to him. He
and his two huge dogs dined free at the restaurants. Banks even
11
1
§
n]jag_£ROR" NORTON - 3
cashed his checks, which he shrewdly kept quite small. Maybe
he wasn’t so cookoo after all. He made visits to the California
Legislature and was allowed to sit among the lawmakers in the
front row. There he solemnly proclaimed his royal edicts^
which were duly printed in the newspapers among other legislative
transactions* One of his edicts, prophetically enough, commanded
the building of a bridge which sixty-three years later was
actually built and dedicated by Presidant Hoover.
For the rest of his days His Majesty Norton-the-Flrst,
Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, was treated
with good humoured honor* Public sentiment wouldn’t tolerate any
disrespect toward him. And when he died his loyal subjects
raised frireni thousand dollars and gave him an imperial funeral*
A
--
And he still lives on, a dim droll legend of a dim bygone
time. And now in California they are going to build a monument
to him. Splendid. 7/himsical, droll.
Sfc long liv_e_ the memory of Norton-the-First, Emperor of the
7
I
United States and Protector of Mexico,-- and
SO ^LONG UNTIL MONDXY. ,