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Lowell Thomas* broadcast
for The Literary Digest,
Wednesday, January 14, 1931.
AVIATION
Good evening, everybody;
Let*s fly to IndiaJ 1 mean let,s talk about flying to
India. In today’s news is a report of one of the biggest aviation
enterprises that has been projected so far. The idea is to have
a combined airline and ocean line half way arownd the world - all
the way from New York to India.
The New York Evening Post states that plans have just
been given out by the manager in the United States for the
British Imperial Airways. The Associated Press informs us that
announcements were published simultaneously in London.
The plan is to transfer freight from any part of the
United States to New York by airplane, then by fast liner to
England, and then by plane to Karachi, India.
That’s a big assignment and it is said that this air
and ocean transport of freight will begin in the spring.
So if the Maharajah of Seringapatan, the Khan of Kalat
or the Sultan of Swat suddenly decides that he wants the Detroit
manufacturers to make him a new baby roadster all inlaid with gold
or mother of pearl, he will be able to get it delivered in half the
time by having it flown to India,
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Mow lot'
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see. Here comes India again! a dispatch
about that problem of the Hindus and the Mohammedans,
“*1
At the Round Table Conference over in London, Britain,
as I mentioned last night--, agreed to give to India nearly all the
rights that are enjoyed by the Britiah dominions. Then trouble
instantly arose between tho se old enemies, the Mind as and the
Mohammedans.
A late sable to the Intematiohal Mews Service states
that the leader of the Mohammed an
b
at the Conference has made an
offer to come to terraa if the Mohammedans in the Punjab (which is
a vast section of Northwest India) are guaranteed 49# of the
delegates in any new governmental body of representatives* Also,
the Mohammed an s demand 46 i in Bengal, with that 46# later to be
boosted to §1#. Of course the Mohammed an s are far in the minority
in India, but they represent a very powerful and aggresaive element.
The Hindus at the Conference are said to be debating among them
selves as to whether they can accept this truly amazing
S-i
Mohamtiedan proposal.
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Down in South Africa the police
have ordered a 73-year-old beggar to
stop soliciting alms on the street.
They say he may still go on sleeping in
a stable.
He's a stately old fellow, well
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borry well educated. He speaks several
languages. The United Press tells us
that he is Prince Louis Robert George 4e
Bourbon Orleans, Ouc de Bourbon^
a descendant of the old kings of france.
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HEWS
rm
My News Item of the Day was picked for me by a lady.
I suppose it would have to be, because it would be somewhat
unchivalrous for a man to select this story of "spanking
mammas"
as the most interesting dispatch in the day1 a news.
Well, the lady who picked it is Marian Telva, the
Metropolitan Opera House contralto. She* s one of the most
brilliant of the younger American singers, and in addition has
a rare sense of humor. She got a big laugh, she said out of a
yam she had Just seen in one of the evening papers about "spanking
mammas." Well here’s the story.
In Cuba where they’re having a bad case of revolutionary
nerves these days, there has been an outbreak of what might be
balled "lady spank lady." That is, the Isdies have been spanking
each other. Maybe it’s just a revival of a quaint old Cuban
custom!
Anyway, the Associated Press informs us that the fair
members of the feminist organization who are supporting the govern-
nent have been administering spankings to Cuban women who are of the
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revolutionary turn of mind. Those
"spanking mammas" just get ahold of a
sister who's aflin the government, and
they put her across their knees and give
her a sound sp-awk-ip# to improve her
understanding of political matters.
One si ight compl ication came when
four young men got a bright idea. They
wanted to heckle some government officials
and thought ifcmji they would be safer in
women's clothing. So they dressed up in
skirts and silk hose and so on, and
started in with their heckling act. The
"spanking mammas" were right there on
the job. They saw those supposed
revolutionary women and started in to
give them a spanking. Well, that was
just where they made one big mistake.
A lively fight started, one/M "spanking
mammas" was taken to the hospital, and
the others, after being soundly spanked
themselves, ran away as fasA as they
¥QL££tiQ
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There has been another tremendous
volcanic eruption down in the Andes.
One peak in Northern Argentina has
poured forth an immense torrent of
water, muu, stone and lava.
According to the United Press
while refugees were fleeing from the
erupti on they were overtaken by a torrent
of water which had burst from the volcano
before the lava started to stream out.
Tremendous rorces of nature
seem to be in upheaval all along the
Pacific Coast from Mexico to Cape Horn.
Perhaps this latest eruption is in some
way related to the disturbance that has
been causi ng the penal islands off the
west coast of Mexico to tremble and
shake.
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Here's g( a question:
WHERE WOULD YOU GO TO hIND
ARISTOCRATS?
Of course, most of us will answer
tngland. England has long been famous
as the home of xilxx aristocratic
distinctions. However, it you will
consult the new Literary Digest, not the
one you have now, but the one that will
be on the news stands tomorrow, you'll
find the answer to that question w.
something else again. I saw an advance
copy of the new Digest today; and in it^
read an article which says that you
won't find aristocracy in England.
Ihe Digest quotes a shrewd
German writer who says that aristocrats
are obsolete in England, and that the
people who look Tor caste and
snobbery in EnglandAare most^Amer leans
and sawsa Germans. *n Englishman may be
^ir John Jones and his wife Lady Mary
Jones, but the chances are they are
very definitely of the middle class.
At the same t ime pe op I e wi th no title
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at all may be of TamiIies not at all
noble, but so old that they rank above
titled persons.
■Veil, I've heard it said many a
time that England's last great aristocrat
was E«mA Cur zon. He was the very
araeksfeggssi*? of a magnificent, stiff and
formal nobleman of The old British type.
He gained world fame as the viceroy of
India, and never has there been seek
another viceroy who was such a
sxet
stickler^ for form, so grandiose, so
pompous.
I lived in India at one time and
everywhere I heard tales otAtne noble
Marquis of Curzon. India certainly was
the place where his taste for aristocratic
grandeur could be satisfied to the full.
Maharajahs are haughty, but Curzon was
Haughtier. Royalty is idojized in India
and Lord Curzon was there/AS vice regal
capacity, and therefore entitled to
much pomp and circumstance and saluting
of guns.
Yet, he was a very kindly man.
ARISTOCRACY - 3
and there ia a story to illustrate both, his pomposity and his
kindliness.
At state
receptions or at even the smallest dinner
everybody had his place at the table according to rank* Down
at the bottom of the table came the young Army Officers who were
his aide de camps, the A.D.C.’s who flit here and there at the
beck and call of the great man and his lady.
On one occasion .an unfortunate A.D,C• fell asleep at a
magnificent vice-regal dinner and he started to snore. Somebody
was about to awaken him, but the majestic Curzon, who often spoke
of himself in the plural as kings do, called down from the head of
the
table and said:
"PRAY DON'T DISTURB HIS SLUMBER. WE ARE NOT PLRTURBED.
UNDOUBTEDLY HE IS FATIGUED FROM WAITING UPON OUR PERSON."
And talking about aristocracy,
the cover of the Digest
which will be on the news stands tomorrow shows a lovely scene of
the stately formalities of old colonial society here in America.
It is called "The Marriage Contract". The bride is Martha, the
oldest daughter of Thomas Jefferson, and the groom ia Thomas
Randolph of Virginia, Well, she's
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a beautiful bride. Just watch for her
smile on the cover of the Digest which
will come to you tomorrow.
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SfitiMELJLNS
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This next dispatch makes it
look as though we1I I have a big heavy
weight championship fight next summei-----
in fact, two of them.
Max Schmeling announces that he
will accept the contract which his
manager made for him to fight young
Stribling in Chicago, and also to fight
the Italian heavyweight. Camera,
likewise in Chicago.
Camera is known as "Fiddle feet"
because his shoes look like a couple
iff
fiddle cases--but that's not news.
When Schmel ing first heard about
the contract, he said he v/ouldn't I ive
up to it, but a late International News
Hia Service flash states that after he
had received a cable from his manager
explaining the details, he ea^i-e'et—back
that it was O.K. by him.
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I might as well tell you now
to be on the look-out tor King David.
If you see him walking around
playing the
t.
ar p, or with his sling ready,
looking for another Goliath, just tell
him that there's a 875,000^ home and
a new sixteen cylinder automobile
waiting tor him out at San Diego,
Cal ifornia.
According
to
the United Press
a Tormer Missouri Judge has an idea
that uavid. King of Israel, will return
to the earth, and thatAformer Judge
has prepared a magnificent house with a
big automobile to oe in readiness for
the reappearance of the conqueror of the
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nes.
One claimant has already shown
up and asked tor the house and the
automobile. He claims that he is David
ns a- t!s- dcjLvf
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>
glass
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At White Plains, a cop arrested a
man driving a car. The cop thought
the driver had been drinking too much
because he had such a glassy look in
his eye. At any rate, that was the
reason the cop gave to the judge.
But the motorist explained to
His Honor, the magistrate, that he
merely gave the cop that glassy look
for the reason that he hflS a- glass eye.
V/hereupon the judge dismissed the
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k’-a-SM
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Now this is about a skyscraper,
u
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news - because
feSss^n Europe. It’s in 1h e ancient
city of Antwerp which was old when
Columbus discovered America, and it
will be twenty stories high. That's
not so gigantic for the United States,
but it is for the older continent
over there. London, for example,
won't allow a building to be built over
eighty feet high.
The M
b
new Literary Digest which
will be on the news stands tomorrow
informs us that Antwerp's new skyscraper
is built along typical American lines.
Ifs^ not far from the old cathedral
in Antwerp and it rises like a symbol
of the new world among the surroundings
of a very old world,
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VVe I I , let’s have a little
sentimental dialogue for a moment. First
there's a man's voice saying:
"Hello, is this you, Gwendolyn?"
Then a woman's voice:
"Yes, this is Gwendolyn."
"Well, Gwendolyn, how about a
little date for tonight?"
"All right, where will we meet?"
ttia
Well, I'llJeave the rest of
that dialogue to your imagination, with
the date being fixed up properly, and
a bit of lovey-dovey along with it. But
here’s where the trouble comes. The
poor man wasn't talking to his Gwendolyn
&t all.
The wires were crossed and,without
his knowing anything about it, he got
his own house, and his wife was on the
phone.
This painful bit of drama was
brought out in a separation trial which
the Associated Press tells us was held
out in Los Angeles.
And that is the sad, sad story of
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a husband and wife and a charming young
woman named Gwendolyn.
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aL>"-5M
Page.
One night I mentioned a man out in
the Philippine Islands who had been a
subscriber to the Literary Digest for
some thirty years.
Now another
reader, Mr.
0. L. Miller, of Confluence, Pennsylvania
writes in that he can beat the Philippine
gentleman's record all hollow.
"Why, I've been a Digest reader
for two-score years--ever since I was
a college student out in Pennsylvania,"
says Mr. Miller.
Another letter has just come in
from Robert Fallon, of Hollis, New York.
Now, Robert is a smalI boy aged eleven,
hence a more recent Digest fan. Well,
Robert heard me tel I about the Cassowary
at the Bronx Zoo, the bird that ate a
lady's vanity case.
"Huh, that's nothing," says Robert.
"I've got a dog named Susie who eats
cement, wood, stone, coal, silver, copper
Money, and her particular favorite is
tin foil. But the funniest thing about
Susie is that she won't eat meat and she
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won’t gnaw bones." "But," adds Robert,
Sshe dearly loves to Iick postage stamps."
And G. H. Phelps, of Hackensack,
New Jersey, tel Is me about a remarkable
old black tom cat called "Baby". That
cat has a number of unusual accompIishmenta
But most extraordinary of al Iqi is the
way he eats peas.
Peas are his favorite vegetable
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and he knows exactly how to handle them.
No, he doesn't balance the peas on a
knife, either. But he does something
better than that. If the peas are too
hot that cat will take each individual
pea in his paw and wave it around in the
air until it gets cool.
Mr. Phelps states that he is now
teaching the cat a new way of cooling
peas. He’s teaching the cat to blow
on t hem.
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Down in Jacksonville, Florida, three
colored men were standing on a street
corner, singing at the top of their voices
A cop arrested them for excessive
inebriation.
"Well," said the Judge, "just
because they were singing doesn't prove
they were drunk."
Then he turned to the colored men
and asked:
"What were you singing?"
"Sweet Adeline," they replied
"Hu^i, that's different,"® ruinbled
the Judge. "If you were singing Sweet
Adeline I'll fine you ten dollars apiece
Well, that Judge in Jacksonville,
Florida, is a long way off and I I ike
Sweet Adeline. So when I leave here I'm
going to stroll down Fifth Avenue
singing, "You're the idol of my heart
Sweet AdeIine."
So long until tomorrow.
Ill
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