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Part of The Mosaic: Fall 1996
content
SUBMIT
Letter from El Presidente
You'll notice that the Mosaic looks rather dark and morbid this semester.
Although I could go on about how I don't know how the cover got so black. .
.
"Really Sir,
one minute it was white as an orange tulip then I looked away for a second and it was
black as the sun!", but I am well and prepared to relinquish the truth! My Chief Editor
(sigh) has been replaced by an evil twin
.
I know it is hard to believe
,
but it was he who
caused our Mosaic to appear so dismal.
For those of you who are offended by the color black, I apologize
.
For everyone
else, have a good time reading our latest and best compilation of Marist's best literary
works!
President: Jason Crandall
Chief Editor: JeffNovakouski
Submission E ~
fi
(h/t111f
t
1
Jason Crandall
Kevin Mewhiney
Heather Clarke
Tracy Campanella
Heather Deery
Scott Neville
Jaime Smith
Joe Patriss
Chelsey Ferrigno
Eric Dahlen
Donna Jackson
Mosaic Editors
Jason Crandall
Heather Clarke
Scott Neville
Joe Patriss
Chelsey Ferrigno
Eric Dahlen
Donna Jackson
As Always: Special thanks to Ooga
.
Literary Arts Society Mosaic
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
1
Letter from El Presidente
by Jason Crandall (El Presidente)
2
A Random Soldier's Thoughts Upon A Falsified Image
by Joe Laposta
4
Untitled (poem)
by Jason Martin
6
My Unspoken hero
by Jamie V
6
Ink-Ik
by Christian
Tenczar
7
And our souls intertwine
by Andrea J Sanford
8
Children of the Night
by
Donna
Jackson
9
Untitled (short story)
by ORG
10
Prophesy
by Rob
Casinghino
11
The Jaded Optimism's
by Kevin Mewhiney
12
Rape: Thoughts of a Victim
by Jaime Smith
14
Anatomy Song
by Kyle
Smith
14
Frail
by Jason Martin
15
Guardian Angel
by Joe Patriss
16
Just Another Face in the Crowd
by Heather
Clarke
17
Not till Death
by Adam Weissman
18
People These Days
by
Steve
Wanczyk
18
Untitled (poem)
by Gregg Arenson
19
Guemica
by Kevin Moore
19
Hannah Murberic
by Scott Neville
20
Untitled (poem)
by
Corry
Durdovic
22
New Horizons
by Donna Jackson
23
Artwork
Summer
by Susan Goodwin
Art for a Random Soldier
by Susan Goodwin
2 FREAKS
by Susan Goodwin
Untitled (CGI)
by ORG
3
5
7
back cover
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A 8ANQOhl SOlQLf,t~s THOUGHTS UPON A fAlSJfJEQ U~lt\GE
TJ-IIOUGH THE END/.ESS
TEE1►UNG
ABYSS
1►JY
ONWARD SEJ.F PROJECTS THROUGH A SERIES OF !.A UGHS. THESE
BEING THOSE OF THE FAJ.SJFJED TYPE KNOWN UNTO THE WOR!.DS AS
DREA1►JS
.
THE EVER BJ.ACK RAIN OF
NOTHING DROWNING UNDER THE INTENSE HATRED I FEEJ. FOR 1WYSEJ.F AND OTHERS. HOW DOES IT FEE!. TO
PROP£!.
INTO THE END!.ESS NOTHING OF THE END? I DO NOT KNOW FOR A!.!. I KNOW I FEE!.. CONSTRICT/IVG
THE VICES IN ORDER TO KEEP
1►JY
!.JGHT SHUNNED INTO A VAU!. T. A PANDORA'S BO~'( THAT OPENS A!. WAYS
TO A PARADISE. BUT THAT JS THI WAI.KING PARADO~'(. UNFJJ.!.ED THOUGHT, WHISPERS AND DREA1WS WAJ.TZ
BY
1►JY
CONSCIENCE UNCONSCJENCE SE!.F TO THE
1►JAD
RAIWB!.JNG OF A
TRUl►JPETER
AND HIS VENOMOUS
VJOJ.JNJSTS. EACH NOTE STRhtJNGA
SCREA1►JJNGPITCH
WHICH JS HEARD BY THE DEAF HAND OF SANCTJ'TY.
AJ.J. FOR NAUGHT
Tll►JE
TO PAY THE PIPER! BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM BROKE AND HE HAS NO PIPES TO
P!.AY ON? WHAT THEN? I ASK THIS REPEATED!.Y TO THI WAVES OF
CONTINT1►JENT.
STORiWJNG INTO A REA!.M
OF HORROR ON!. Y TO BEU!.
Tll►JATI!.Y
REPEi.i.ED AT WHAT I HAVE BECOME. TO HEAVEN AND HADES I SEARCH
BUT FIND NOTHING OF VA!.UE TO THE
UT1►JOST
PERCEPTION OF THE OUT!.YJNG WASTE KNOWN AS THE
ETERNITY OF OUTCROPPING J.JES, DECEIT, AND HATEFUi.NESS. POWER FU!. BANTERING OF!. ONG FORGOrrEN
SOI.DIERS RISE UP TO BE HEARD ON!. Y BY DEAF EARS THAT QUJCl<J.Y GO DEAF TO THE VIBRANT ARO1WA OF THE
SOUND OF U!.
1/l►JATE
PAIN OF TRAVEJ.ERS !. ONG DEAD AND FORGOrrEN INTO THE
REA!.1►JS
OF DREAMS
WHICH CAN BE THE
1VJGHT1►JARES
OF AN AGE PAST. REF!.ECTJNG UPON THE
1►JONUIWENT
THAT HAS BEEN
BUJ!.T WITH THE B!. OOD OF
1►JY
SOU!. ON!. Y TO TEAR IT DOWN ON BEHA!.F OF
1►JYSE!.F
ON!.Y TO REBUJJ.D AND
'
CRY
BJ.
OOD OVER
1►JY
EFFORTS GONE TO REST IN A SHA!.!. OW
UtVl►JARKED
GRAVE THAT WAS CREATED EONS
AGO BEFORE I HAD
1►JY
FJNAJ. SAY IN THIS 1WAD JtVCAJ. CUJ.AB!.I EQUATION.
JOSEPH !.APOSTA
4
Disco\1erea in
a
tenaer 9ro\1e
A sfia(fow fio(e fio(ain9 9ra\1e secrets,
Ne\1er meant to 6e s_polten of,
E"ff masltea not to 6e recognize()
Wfiere time is tfie on(9 true re\1e(er,
As
is
a
cfiffa wfio trip_pea
O'1er
a
sfiort 6rolten fieaastone;
J\eaain9 of
a
sin9(e name
J'iffea witfi
a
m9ster9,
Unfocltea 69 questions
Xeant to see!( trutfi.
Wfiere
oo
9our secrets Cle 6uriea?
Can
a
9fiost of justice
.'.Fina tfiem 6Cina(9?
S fie fias fier wa9
Of
seeing 6e9ona fier casltet
No matter fiow fiara we
tT9
1'0
6ur9 fier 6eneatfi our sins.
Jason Xartin
~ou
ore
f-.J,~) hQJo I hrne rie\JQJ f-.J,eT '-lou, al-though I ho\Je dreaf-.J,ed of one do'-;)
Cof-.J,1rig
1
ri
corit-oct-,
face
-to face I \JJ
111
reach out- f-.J,'-!) co1'.{Porot-1\Jel~ :sf-.J,o
ll
horid orid -pro~
lr)ot-
rt
\JJ111 riot-
be rejected b'-'.l '-lour god~
l1
ke horid. I ho\Je bu111
up
'-lour lf-.J,oge
1ri
f-.J,~
~eod '-lou
ore
f-.J,~ god;
-the
-pQr":sori
t-hot"
I fee
l
cori do
no
\JJrorig. In e\JQJ~ o:s-pect- '-lou
'.SeQ.fJ,
-pQJfect" orid
irJ control
I fari
t-
o:s
1
ze obou
t"
-the
'-lou
,
thot" I feel '-lou ore. '-lou \JJ111
De the
one
tnot- \JJ
111
ol\JJo~:s
:so\Je
f-.J,e
1ri
Or'f._)
lffe
or death :s
1t-
uot"iori,
but"
'-lou \JJ111 fade
Irit-o
the :suri:set"
befor I
con nzpo~ '-lou \JJITY) o hug orid o
ki:s:s
'-lou
\JJ111
lea\Je f-.J,e :st-orid1rig
lr)Qr"e, krio\JJ
i
rJg that- I
\JJ111
de\Jot"e f-.J,'-!)
lire -to
f-.J,'-!)
uri:s-pokeri hQJo
.
\0eothQJ irit-erided or riot-, :SOf-.J,eorie
kkd
~our hQr"oi:sf-.J,. 71-)e~ crperied f-.J,~ e~e:s
To the -pQr":sorJ '-lou reall'-'.l
ore.
I rJO\JJ krJO'-'tJ the trut-h obout" '-lou.
'-lour
hQJo fo ode
~o:s
beeri :Sf-.J,O:shed o:s '-lou :stru88e -to
:st-o'-'.l irJ
f-.J,'-!) thought-:s ..
..
'-lou \JJirJ. '-lou flood bock
irit-o
f-.J,'-!) f-.J,irid orid :soul. I \JJelcof-.J,e '-lou '-JJ
it-h
crperi
orf-.J,:s. \0ho Of-.J,
I
t"o
judge? I
-put-
ThQ
truth bQh1rid orid coricQritrot"Q ori
ThQ
hero thot
T\Je yode '-lou t-o
be
I
fro\JJr)
-to think thot" I olyo:st-
l
eft- '-lou
behind
.
~ou're f-.J,~
Uri:s-pokeri heQr"o. '-lou
con
do
no
\JJrorig '.Soyedo~, '-JJdll f-.J,eet" orid
I
krJO\JJ t-hot-
'-l
ou
\JJOr)
1
1
d
1
:soppo
1
rit-
ye
6
INK-IK
LOVE IN A FURNACE OF TWISTED GLASS,
THE REASON STAYS THE SAME.
DEFORMED, REPULSIVE AND SCARED TO THE CORE,
AND I'M THE ONE TO BLAME.
WHY BOTHER ...
REFLECT MY LOVE INTO THE GROUND,
PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET.
SOIL MY FEELINGS AND RAVAGE MY SOUL,
ANXIETY STARTS TO ROCKET.
DON'T BOTHER ...
IN
MY WORLD SYMPATHY DOESN'T EXIST.
IN
MY WORLD BLEEDING HEARTS DON'T DIE.
IN
MY WORLD SHATTERED DREAMS ARE EGGSHELLS.
IN
MY WORLD
I
LAUGH BUT DON'T KNOW WHY.
-WHISPER TO ME HOW YOU FEEL.
-
VISIT ME BEFORE MY MIND IS GONE.
-TIME
IS
A DIFFICULT
ITEM
TO MASTER.
-WHISPER
AGAIN WHEN SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG
.
CHRISTIAN TENCZAR
7
A
vui
OU¥
~
L4'\t"e,vtw~ .
.
~
clo-,,e,v
I
~
t"o- yow. .
.
The¢
~
'P~¥
C¼'
I
fhMtJv
of
love,
13
ta
wha-t'
of
love,?
Of
WLO.¥r~?
OfW¥?
Where,
ca-rv
I
{lA"ID./
yow?
Ivv~w..f?
I
~
f{,,,-J,t-
{lA"ID./
~:,clf;
~
cu--e,
the,
r!Ale1,,
of
Ufe,,,
Of
love;,
Of
ev
u,n,lo-n,
betwee,vv
two- lov~
Lover¥-
flcq,p~ t " ~
hoU
~
lover¥ cu--e,
u.,ni;t'ed,
the,(¥
WU¼'
become,
one,
I
~
yow
CU'\d-
~
CU'\d-
~
And✓...
I
do-!
I
do- WLO.¥YY yow
A¥yowdo-WLO.¥ry
me,
For
be,tte,y
or wor~
-the,
-forme,r
w
more,
~cibl.,e,-
I w ~
t"o-
~
Yow,
13
e,
wlth, yow
CU'\d-
vt.ea¥"
yow
W lth,
all,
~
hea¥-t,
I love, yow
Avui,
w~t"o-ha.Ne, yow wlth,
me,
et.Lw~¥
~
\IOW
¥
that-
we,
t"eu<
.
-e✓•
•
•
~
WLO.¥Y~ ha1,,
j!Mit
t"eu<:e,y\/ p ~
NO't
o'Vlfy
cu--e, we,
ofthe,
.w«,+ne,
13od;y
CU'\d,
ml+1d,
13
ta
it'
w
cq,pcu--~
that-
(:) LU'"
wu4,
lt'\t"EWtw
W\.e✓•
8
CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT
DONNA
JACKSO
N
A
SHROUD SLIPS SILENTLY
OVER
THE LAND.
THE
MOON AR
!
SES FULL.
U
NBR
IDLED
SPIRITS ROAM THE NIGHT.
THEIR
VO
I
CES
INVADE
THE
LULL.
A
WILDCAT SQUALLS IN VICTORY.
A
FALCONS SCREAM IS SHRILL.
YOUNG ONES,
LEFT
ALONE
I
N
THE
NEST,
QUAKE I
N
THE BLACKENED CHILL.
AN
OWL
HOOTS
IN THE DARKNESS;
A
GLOW OF YELLOW EYES.
ARISE, MY SHADOWY BRETHREN,
foR MIDNIGHT
HAS ARRIVED
.
THE WIND
WHISPERS
SOFTLY
THROUGH
T
HE TREES,
AND WHIPS TO A WRETCHED MOAN
.
A
TORTURED SOUL GROANS
IN
THE NIGHT,
HEART-WRENCHING
BUT NOT ALONE.
CRICKETS CHIRP IN CHORUS.
A
CROW
CALLS
FROM AFAR.
ARISE, MY
BROTHERS
OF THE NIGHT.
ARISE, AND SING TO THE STARS.
A
WRAITH
EMERGES FROM DARKNESS
A
N
D WALKS THE
EARTH
ANEW
.
THE BLACK
MAN SNARLS
IN
THE FOREST,
HEARD ONLY BY A FEW.
A
WOLF PACK HOWLS OUT
HAU
NTING
LY,
BRINGI
NG
ITS
WOES TO BEAR.
A
KESTREL CRIES OUT SHARPLY
.
A
BAT SAILS THROUGH THE AIR.
TH
EN THE
STARS FADE OUT TO DAYLIGHT
WITH GAY SONG
FROM WAKING WRENS.
SLEEP
N
OW,
0
CHILDREN OF
THE
NIGHT,
TILL
MIDNIGHT COMES AGAIN
.
9
"The
soft
drip of the pJri.son.e:r'
s
blood could 'barely be
he
al'd oveJr
the huum of
the
printing press. Hi.s spirit
baJ been birol.en long before tlh.e last of his :ribs
snapped
.
He
knew his enJ was ni.glb. Cougibi.n.g up imore MooJ bim
his
abuseJ
iun.gs, he fell to his lk:nees
anJ
looked up
at
his capfo:r with his one relt1tllann.i.ng
gooJ
eye.
"Clad
in a trenchcoat wi.th imost of lb.i.s face hiJJen in d1e
shadow
of his hat, the capfoll' gazeJ Jown at the
one i.n his imeJrcy. He h,.J foyeJ with the pll'ison.e:r long enough. He stooJ ...dmiJring hi.s han.Ji.wo:rl.c lbefoll'e Jeali.n.g tlb.e
final blow. Hi.s
leather
gloves cJreakeJ as he twisted d1e
pipe
in
his hands."
Dr. Douglas
sfoppeJ
:reaJi.n.g the
shghdy
c:ruimpleJ paper before
hi:11n
an.J
loolkeJ
ovell'
the ll'D.llllllS of his glasses
at
Tim.. The lboy lai.J on the couch &eJross the Jrooni. He
studied
th
e
boy
,
frying to Jelve i.nto the eieven-year-olJ'
s
niinJ fo find the cause of the inn.ell' fuJr:vnoil. He feit
a
pang of pity on the lad,
anJ
on tlhe boy's mothell' who
sat
in
the waiting :room no more than fifty feet away.
The
,.;_,.
con.li.ti.onell' made d1e
g
l&s
s
mobile which hung i.n. the crnrn.er of tbe docfor'
s office
click
softly.
Tim had
saiJ
nothing
s
ince
he enteJreJ Douglas' office two hours
ago s&ve
a
short, nrn:mbled
heBilo
.
He laid
on the couch
,n,pparen.
tly
olblivi.ous fo everyt;lbmg
&nJ
everyone,
and
stared up
&t
tlb.e ceiiling counting the holes
in
tbe
tile.
The Jocfor loolkeJ lbac.k Jown.
at
tlhe pile
of
d.r&wi.n.gs
&n.d sfo:ries
on his deslk that
T'
rm'
s
niother
baJ
given
hiim d,,.t rn.orruing. Every one of tlh.eim dlepicted the pain anJ Je,.th of someone or
something. Here
was
a
sketch of
a coffin
with fangs chewing on
a
f&celess,
screanung
woman. There was
&
detailed written description
of
the
pain
of
having the firont of one's
skuH
forn. off. E,.clb. &n.J every one of them w&s
s
igned
in & corner with the
words,
"Hate, then J.i.e."
DI!'. Dougi&s
si.gheJ an.J snppeJ
at his coffee. He l.aJ long
since
given. up on trying fo talk to the boy. He
was
totally
unresponsive,
frapped. i.n lbis own made-up world which the Jocfo:r coulJ
see
through Tim's drawings
and
Wll'D.tten
words.
A
weelk ago,
Tim.'
s
1tnothell',
Sue,
haJ imaJe &n. appointment to
see
Dr. Dougl&s.
She
had entered the
office
on
the veJrge of te&rs. When Douglas had
aslkeJ.
hell' why she lb.ad come, ailil of hell' troubles
h,.J
coD1e pouring out
thJrough hell' te&Jrs. She
was
very concerned albout her son eveJr since hell' huslbanJ Ji.eJ during a Jrobbery.
"Tim was
su
ch
& happy lboy,"
she
had
saiJ
to the JoctoJr, "until lb.is father w&s lki.HeJ. Then be became
very
quiet. lF'i.n.allly he stoppeJ talllk:ing
,.}together ..
" Sue JreacheJ Jown. &n.J pulled a tissue from the bow sitting on the
talble. She Jalblb,eJ her
eye
s
.
"He sfoppeJ eating alliogether. He woulJ onily eat if
K
imade
some
forltn of Jtneat for him,
anJ it haJ to lbe rare. He never
toRJ
me this, but aftell' a wh
i
le
K
Ilearn.eJ that w&s ail he would e&t.
He's
been like
this for dllll'ee rn.onths now, anJ
K'
ve
started to fi.n.J his drawings. He
s
cares
rn.e. He never
shows
eltnotion, just walks
pull'posefully fll'oltll1L ll'OOllll1L to Jroorn. to sit in a
chai
r
and! st&re at
the
waillls for an hour. K've only seen him betray
how
he feels in.siJe once.
K
s&w
him
s
ittin
g
in front of the
TV;
pllayi.ng his viJeo
garn.es.
Kn
the reflection of tbe
sc
r
een
K
saw
his expression. was Mank until he
shot
one of the chaJracte:rs in. the
garn.e.
Then he simiJeJ for
a
moment, then
lkiHeJ the next one."
Tlh.e JocfoJr
stooJ
up froim his chaill'
anJ
piclkeJ up his cli.plboard. He a]w,n,ys hafoJ doing tlh.is. After
l
ooking
once Jtnore
at
Tim, who staJreJ up
unfl
inchin
gly,
he fumeJ
anJ
pl&ceJ his lhan.J on the Joo:rlk:nob
to
hi
s
office.
Douglas furneJ it an.J left the office, cilosi.n.g d1e Joor quiedy behin.J him.self.
Tlhe
gilass
molbile chin.lkeJ softly.
Sue saw the J.ocfor appiro&ch &ndl 1tnade
a
feelbile attempt
at
lbrushi.ng the te&Jrs firom her cheeks.
"Sue," Douglas
saiJ
quietly, "in. rn.y professional opinion,
K
feel tlbat Tim n.eeJs to be placeJ
in
a
h
ospital
where he c&n
get
the help he neeJs.
K
neeJ your
signature
to
authorize his coimllllittal." He
offered
the clipboard
to
hell',
Sue's
soblbing started
anew.
She
buri.eJ her face in her h,.nJs foll'
a
n10ment, then toolk the pen
and
quickly
signed
lhell' name.
ORG
PR9PHECY
>
BY R9B CASINGHIN9
~
~
WHEN +HE fIRE C9MES. WE SI+ HERE WA+CHING
~
~
TSNGUES 9f fLAME; fALLING. BURNING ••• SC9RCHING
~
THE EAR+H SHAKES. +HE LIGH+NING CLASHES
O<
Z
AN EXPL9SI9N fRSM +HE DIS+ANCE CRASHES
THE SCREAMS 9f +H9SE WHSM WE.VE BEfRIENDED
THEIR AG9NY HAS fINALLY ENDED
THE SMELL 9f DEA+H PERVADES +HE AIR
WE WH9 ARE LEf+. WE De Ne+ CARE
~
THE INf ERNS HI+ S US. WE S+AND +HERE WA+CH ING
z
V
LL
A _
SL9WING BURN ING
SL9WLY SCSRCHING
11
RessaRRecceo: JAoeo opc1m1sm paRc
10
I -i:eaR I'll noc be ooc co plag
le seems I'm noc balanceo conag
mg SWORn's Re'CORn0'0,. slon5 A.C mg STOe
Ann cbe oln 5Reg ARmoR,. mg beavg broe
Wbg A.Re cbeg back,.
!
ask w1cb nRean
As cR1es o-i: Celcs soR5e cbR005b mg bean
'CbeRe's boc one cb1n5 co caose cb1s -i:eaR
A neanlg WgRm 1s nRA.w1n5 neaR
One I ban belpeo poc nor.on co Resc
R1sen a5a1n co 51ve new qoesc
V1aoos ORA.5on,. awake'n .J=Rom slombeR
Seeks ooc mg sool,. ceaRs 1c asonneR
Sommoneo now bg naRkesc neeo
bg WReccbes,. wanes ann lose ann 5Reeo
leacbeR w1n5s n1sc0Rc cbe Skge
As cR1mson neacb seen soaR1n5 b15b
'Cbe beasc cocs ooc A. neanlg swacb
All cbm5s sball n1e cbac cRoss 1-cs pacb
le wooln be w1se co Ron awag
boc love O.J= lt.J=e masc baR mg wag
'Co coRb ann ose cbe 1nneR RA.Se
l=ll neeo cbg w1snom bRocbeR mase
Ann SCRenscb I'll bave .J=ROm A. CROe .J=Rletln
SeeR scann bg me onul cbe eon
looneR ann m15bueR cban ang cbo1R
SpRm5s bope eceRnal .J=Rom cbe SqrnRe
'Cbe bace-i:oll cb1n5 cbac SCA.RS above
Wooln be cbe eon o-i: all I love
boc mg nem1se 1c sball noc see
1-J= I masc baccle,. So moce le be
Reacb w1cb1n ann s1lence cbRee
'Cbe one RemA.1n1n5 1s cbe keg
Rel1nqrnsb concRol,. lee b1m be me
I sense cbe Km5bc ... Ann Sec btm .j:Ree!
bg Keom mewbmeg
-Cbe lrnrnoRcAl: JA--oet, Opam1s1m pARC
11
cRg bac CADD0C RernernbeR, cbe 1'Ags wben
I
coaln .J=lg
be.J=ORe SA"Oness Arl"O pAJD Arl"O RASe, be.J=0Re mg pRSC CASCe 0.J= bAccle
AD1' beo.J=Re cbe bAce.J=all ones placket:> me .J=Rom cbe skge
now
I
CAD onlg scAD"O AD1' WAccb cbe scoRm Abooe
AD"O baRn JD cbe boc sAlcg RA1n.
mg bAD"Os cAnnoc boln cbe cb1nss
I
WAnc masc
-Cbe cb1nss
I
neet:> co saRrnoe
AD1' so cbeg All slip AWAg JD cbe erl"O
-Cben AC lAsc
I
Am no moRe
bac cbeRe 1s no peAce, .J=0R
I
Rise Anew.
I
mag neoeR bot-o one 0.J= mg lmes
noc Lons enoasb co enjog 1c
eAcb new b1Rcb bR1nss .J=ORcb moRe WAR
-Cboasb cbe pAIDS 0.J= pASC IDCARDAU0DS SCAg.
-Cbe baRns Arl"O clAW SCARS
I
soasbc .J=Reet:>om .J=Rom
now
I
bolt, "OeARlg As .J=A--01ns memencos
O.J= A l1.J=e
I
Am loosJDs .J=Asc
-Coo soon
I
masc bes1n ASAID .
.J=AICb JD -Com0RR0WS: JA--oet, Opam1sm PARC
12
be.J=oRe Lons mg joaRneg will beSJD
Lons Arl"O --01.J=pcal C lC Will be
eoeR masc 1 .J=0RSe AbeA1'
Seekins cbe ADSWeRS I 1'0 DOC bAoe
Sn~
_
enscb 0.J= w1ll 1s rncAl
eceRn1cg 1s cbe onlg comoRRow
OescRogJDS .J=0ReoeR All 0.J= mg gesceRnAgs
becceR cbAc cben Accepc cbe beRe AD1' now
enltsbcenmenc will be mJDe!
A
n
t)
-i:
A
R
e
w
e
l
l
Anatomy
Song
by Kyle
Smith
whip
c
ra
c
k
legs kicking
arms
neck mouth
open
ret
c
hing
a troubadour an entrepreneur
a
c
loset
and a dark space
look ba
ck
h
ea
ds turning
and the
world lets itself hide behind
you
as it tries to find
you
who you
re.ally
are
what parts are making you up
what makes you so bitter
something black
and something secret
something pure and evil
makes one feel real.
14
Jaime Smith
Rape:
Thoughts of a Victim:
And as
the
shadows overtake
me
Why can't I turn around?
The silence is unbroken;
I cannot
make a
sound.
Still, my heart is beating
My pain, my loss, my fear.
My
sanity, retreating,
I know my hell starts here.
And nothing I destroy,
And nothing I create,
Can change
the
life I'm
living,
Can stop the burning hate.
And I'm struggling through darkness,
Crying bitter tears;
Consumed by the silence,
I know my hell starts here.
What happened to my feelings?
What happened to my mind?
Why did
I
move away from love
And leave it far behind?
In the darkness, yearning,
I wonder what I hear.
And it's
the
silence burning;
I know my hell
...
Starts ...
Here
...
Emil
lhese momeots of emptioess
,9eem to pass ever so slowt2
~
l walk empt2, cold streets
To
'
fiod o tooch of comfort
White achiog koees cr2,
[v\wd releots after bod2
Tme slices awa2 m2 delicate part;
~shiog throogh teoder petals
To
carve oot o sacred bleediog core,
t'(:j
if she does oot care.
alooe searchiog for that hood
Who coo restore ioooceoce stoleo,
%sorrect m2 teoderoess
~ow oil tattered aod toro,
Beateo aod blood2,
jtoleo awa2 b2 o thief.
'walk oimlesst2 searchiog
Vor o momeot of salvatioo
lo o lifetime of sacrifice;
~o2iog that m2 aogel desceods sooo
To
meod these brokeo wiogs,
%0I
m2 meoger bod2 with her love.
lere is 0012 o cold sileoce
To
greet m2 braises,
Ool2 cloth to ceose blood from m2 iooer core,
~rel2 oo echo retoroed
To
o shodow thot wos me.
1\Qchor of time t2iog dowo m2 soot,
(aptoriog her mogic io soft flesh
Borot scorlet with 2oor ropes of iojostice,
Where are 200 wheo l oeed 200?
Whot is left to ooswer m2 screoms
(xcept 2oor emptioess.
Teors will oot wosh this poio owo2,
~or will the2 poss the time;
Ool2 feel o secood slip owo2
~
l sit here with m2 legs clomped shot
Bleediog oot whotever ioooceoce left,
.Driokiog Solt of these wooods
for hoors ood do2S, toste m2 blood for 2eors.
l have foith thot these hoors sholl pass,
flesh wooods will eveotooll2 heol,
Bot there is somethiog else 200 coooot restore
kft io hood priots of blood thot oever wash owo2,
1\_
crioge left as l siok oWo2 from 2oor tooch,
darkoess ...
15
Guardian Angel
by Joe Patriss
Everyone who is still alive thinks that being a guardian angel is some great honor. Well, I can tell
you, it's not. At times it can be, forgive me, pure Hell. Actually, it's a lot like doing community service. No
one really wants to be a guardian angel, or at least I didn't. You either volunteer at some point after you die
or you get stuck doing it to get out ofLimbo
.
Guess why I've got the job. Can you believe that people
actually want to be guardian angels? I mean, wouldn't you rather spend eternity sitting on some puffy white
cloud and relaxing than running
all
over creation because you're stuck baby-sitting some nit-wit. You know
Limbo, don't you? Limbo is where you get stuck if you're not good enough to get into Heaven but not bad
enough to go to Hell. In order to get out of Limbo you have to prove you're worthy of entering Heaven by
becoming a guardian angel and protecting someone or a lot of people. Right after I got to Limbo, Heaven
sent me my wings and my assignment.
Limbo is a really lousy place. There is absolutely nothing
.
There's no one, no light, no sound, no
time. Nothing at all. It's extremely boring. They could put in a TV and VCR and supply some lousy
movies. That would make it more bearable. I've suggested it, but God said that a TV and VCR would
really detract from that nothingness theme He has working.
The person that I am supposed to be guarding is little Danny Henderson. He's basically a good kid,
but man, does he get into trouble. He's got this little electric car that he rides around his yard in. That thing
has caused me no end of trouble
.
I don't know which one ofhis brilliant relatives gave him this car. I can
almost hear them thinking
.
Hmmm. What would little Danny like for his fifth birthday? I know! Let's get
him a little electronic car that he can ride around in and drive into the street when no one is looking. I don't
mean to be mean, but people are really stupid at times. Actually, p~ople aren't stupid, it's just that they
really need to think more. If they thought more, well there probably wouldn't be a need for guardian angels.
Oh well, Danny's relatives are learning. I just wish they wouldn't insist on learning the hard way. His
parents are good people who mean well, but they are still learning to be parents. Otherwise there wouldn't
have been so many near misses in the few short years that Danny has been alive
.
Actually, some of these
incidents have had some rather interesting, actually humorous turnabouts. You see, Dan's parents aren't the
only ones who are learning about watching Dan. I'm still new at this guardian angel bit. It's not like there's
a manual to read or a training session you go to like you would at a job. A lot ofit is basically learning as
you go.
Basically, when you become a guardian angel all that you get is your wings and a piece of paper
.
That piece of paper comes directly from God. It tells you two things
.
The first thing it tells you is how to
put the wings on. The second thing it tells you is to pray a lot. That's not much information, but I've found
out a lot of other things by talking to other guardian angels. One thing that I found out is that any guardian
angel can materialize in the world of the living. When we materialize, we can take on the form of the person
that we were when we were alive or any other person we saw while we were al!ve, plus the angel wings.
This means that if we met on earth while we were still alive, I could materialize on earth and look exactly like
you. This also means that I can take on the shape of any movie star I've seen. This is where it gets funny.
A lot of us guardian angels have a sense of humor. I can't count the number of people who claim that they
have been saved by Elvis Presley. I guess you can now see where all the Elvis sightings have come from.
To answer the age-old question, yes, Elvis is really dead
.
He's playing concerts all over creation.
While I'm at it, let me shatter a few more myths about guardian angels
.
The myth that we carry
harps is not true. I don't know how to play a harp
.
I have never actually even been in the same room as a
harp in all the time I've been alive or dead. And I don't even really care ifl ever see one. Also, there is
another myth about us having halos above our heads. Well, that myth isn't entirely false. We do and we
don't. Maybe I'd better explain. God originally gave each and every angel a halo. The reason for this is so
that he can look down on earth and in a moment's glance, see where all his angels are. A halo isn't anything
16
particularly special. It's a lot like being tagged by the Wildlife Association. It might be easier to look at it
that way. Also, God can reach down and grab any angel He wants by the halo and drag them back into
Heaven when He's got something to say to us that's important. He can do this because, well, He's God.
Anyway, a lot of guardian angels found it very difficult to have this very bright glowing ring hovering
six inches above their heads. It was cool because you didn't have to tum the light on if you had to get up in
the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, but it was really annoying because it made it impossible to
sleep
.
More importantly, though, it made the whole guardian angel bit a whole lot more difficult. You see,
when guardian angels materialized, the halo was still there
.
This was bad because guardian angels will often
materialize on earth as humans and mingle among them in order to protect their person
.
Mingling with a
glowing basketball hoop floating above your head was understandably difficult. God got enough complaints
and fixed all our halos so now only He can see them. I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I know it
works a lot like the hand-stamps you get at Disney World if you want to re-enter the park after you have
left. You get your hand stamped with some clear stamp when you leave the park and then when you re-
enter later, they shine an ultra-violet light on it and the stamp shows up
.
God apparently has some really big
ultra-violet light that he shines on earth
.
When He does this, all our halos show up and He knows where we
are
.
I heard He might be changing the way our halos work again because of something about a hole in the
ozone layer
.
I don't know. We'll see.
Well, that's all the advice I can think ofright now. Try and learn as much as you can on your own
.
If
you need help, I'll be around
.
Now just step through
those
gates over there and go to the room on your
left. That's where you get your wings. Say 'hi' to Saint Peter when you pass through the gates.
Just Another Face in the Crowd
by Heather Clarke
Just another face in the crowd
People walk by but do they see me?
They say my name, but it is not my own.
Lonely I walk the hall head hung low.
Will I always be just another face in the crowd?
They look at me, but right through me.
Eyes slipping away never to consider what they saw
Not a second thought for the lonely face in the crowd
17
Not till Death
Not till death,
The world to cease.
To become a man at peace.
A man at peace, or a man at rest.
On a journey, or on quest.
In
the clearing,
Or in the far,
With a wound.
And with a scar.
The txx:ly lay lifeless on the floor.
The soul goes off to search for more.
The soul may be in heaven or hell
But it=s not till the stop of the tolling bell.
Though txx:ly is dead.
And mind is gone.
Cease no more,
The Soul Lives On!
People These Days
People these days don't impress me too much.
With their body piercings and senseless songs;
Suicide's legit and drugs are a crutch-
Truth filtered through the barrel of their bongs.
Responsibility? A thing not taught.
Respect forgotten, decency denied-
Why is everyone so goddamn distraught?
By Adam Weissman
It seems sometimes that the good things have died.
Drink in a sunset, not a can of Coors,
For natural highs are more long-lasting.
Find a heart, a song, that you can cal
I
yours,
And cling to it when shit is happening.
People these days are society's whore.
They sti 11 haven't found what they' re looking for.
Steve Wanczyk
18
tiuernica
Ifevtn Moore
Mother crtes. her mouth stretched wtde
abrea~t ol
a
twt~ted mare.
The babe tn her arms. gone lrom the not~e.
ts dead.
ialvos suround ...
a
dtatorted arrav
apltts the fragmented scene.
The ntghtrnare-brutal. protracted moment
attn tn lranttc reign.
Patn ts the one happy
.
laughing
at
peace.
thts leeltng-lorm. evident.
Oniv one here wtth anv pride
vatn enough to be seen.
litde vour eve~I
!&oolt not on the patnI
Tots patnter wt~he~ vou would.
Toe artist round where. beside wreckage
and blood. hts brush
could delfne chaos.
19
Gregg Arenson
Call a doctor
I
have cliche poisoning
Is there a cure?
Is there a remed?
Mabe something new?
It doesn't exist
Mabe something fresh?
No, the've alread done it
Damn it damn it
damn it to hell
I
feel so sick
m glands are starting to swell
Please do me a favor
And quote ourself
Make me laugh
And I'll drink to our health.
Hannah
Murberec
By
Scott Neville
The Gilcrest
Convalescent
Facility was a top
notch
vegetable
bin. Every elderly
person with little functioning brain matter was granted
access
to
a minuscule cubicle,
cable television
,
and a
stone
mattress
.
Most people were
content
with these accommo
-
dat
ions
,
though most were barely aware of their own names
.
This made resident care
easy
for
the highly
in
competent staff. These people,
supposedly
"Registe
r
ed
Geriatric
Nursing
Technicians
,
" were tru
l
y
noth
in
g
but
teenagers
who occasionally make rounds
between
their
cigarette breaks
.
Unfortunate
ly
,
the
patients
seemed not to
realize
this
,
or were incapab
l
e of vo
icin
g the
i
r concerns
.
The
re was
,
however
,
one person who
cared.
She res
i
ded
in
a room
in
the
top
West
Wing, tucked
away in
a corner w
i
th
the
ot
h
er
terminal
patients.
T
he cell was ster
il
e,
scrubbed rigorously with acerbic bleach
and d
isin
fectant
.
Not even
the
faint
trace
of
urine could waft out when the heavy oaken door was
sealed
sh
u
t. The room itself was
p
leasant
enough, but
st
ifl
i
ngly
vacant
:
everything
but
the
dark television
screen
was
a
dreadfu
l
l
y gleaming white.
Even
the tangled ha
i
r on
top
of
the
old women
'
s bowed head
was
devoid
of pigment.
Hannah
Murberec had
once
been a beaut
ifu
l woman runn
in
g through green pastures
on fragrant
summe
r even
i
ngs.
She used her
lithe
body
and
unusual
grace to dazzle
c
r
owds
of
spectato
rs
at every town
da
nce
,
stopp
i
ng the show
w
i
th
her sensual steps
an
d
sultry snickers,
as
each
po
t
e
ntial
su
i
tor
atte
mpted to
get clo,se
enough
to smell
the a
llu
ring aphrodisiac
of h
er perfume
mingling
w
i
th
her sweat.
Seventy-two years later
,
Hannah
'
s body
reta
i
ned
none
of
it
s original
splendor
,
its
orig
in
a
l
voluptuousness
.
The w
i
th
ered
,
wrinkled
ca
dre
fought daily against
a
cold
,
yet
intense
l
y
i
nvit
i
ng
shadow
:
Death
l
u
r
ked a
r
ound eve
r
y
corner
,
every chime of the clock
,
i
mpatiently wa
iti
ng to take
h
er
away.
But Hannah was nothing
the
mere
sh
adow of
a
person that everyone saw: she
w
as
not
si
mp
l
y a broken
fig
ure
fo
l
ded up
i
n the wheelchair that
ha
d
to be bathed
da
il
y
w
i
th abras
i
ve
soaps
and
acerbic
shampoos.
Her
mind was as sharp as it had been when
she was e
i
ghteen,
still full
of life
,
wo
nd
e
r
,
a
n
d
v
i
ta
l
ity
. Years
of reflection and
i
ntrospec
-
tion
have
made
Hannah
w
is
e a
n
d self-sat
i
sfied
,
but externa
ll
y dead.
People
,
re
l
atives
and fr
i
ends,
occasionally
dropped
in
to
st
are
at
her dec
i
mated
body
.
Only
the
curious children dare to qu
i
ckly touch
her wilted
ski
n
,
pulling away
quickly
as
if their fingers
had been scalded.
Their
touch e
l
ectrified
her
,
sparking
a ro
ll
ercoaster
_
of emot
i
ons
:
love rapture,
J
ealo
usy
,
and
despa
ir
a
ll i
n a single touch. These
emb
r
aces
were few and far
between
- even orderlies were careful not to g
i
ve her the satisfaction
of
human
contact.
The
orderlies were not attempting
to
be cruel
,
but she
'
s been catego-
rized as a
"
Rotten Veggie
,"
one who
i
s beyond reach
-
a mushy eggplant wh
i
ch had fallen
to
the
s
park
ling
floor of the supermarket. To
them
,
Hannah was simply
another drool
i
ng
pat
i
ent pro
l
onging
a
meaningless existence. She
tried
hundreds
of
times to communicate
20
and prove them wrong
,
but her deteriorating physical presence rendered her powe
r
less
to relay any
message
to the outside world.
Hannah was miserable
as
she
constantly
brooded upon her isolation
,
as
she
con-
tinually
flirted
with the handsome dark
figure
of Death who
ceaselessly
nagged at her
hee
l
s
.
She
held on
,
though
,
as
she
waited
for the
perfect moment
to give in
to his pleas-
ant
promise of peace
.
The paradises that
he
elaborated
upon
were fantastic
,
mythical
realms
of
p
leas
ure where
she
would
be
eternally
youthful and
free
.
But
Hannah had a
keen
mind
:
she
would always mention
that she
li
ved
in
he
r
own
paradise
,
w
ithin
her
own
mind
,
and resisted becoming
part
of someone
else
'
s realm.
So the
days
,
week
s
,
and years slowly
dragged
by. Orderlies came
and left, pa
-
tients suffered and
died,
and
H
annah
reclined
and wasted
away.
Months had passed
between
v
i
sitors
,
and
she
had given
up on
them
:
they weren
'
t the reason
she continued
anyway
.
~
1
he
really didn
'
t
know
why
she
endured the deterioration of
her
quality of
life
,
but still
s
he pushed Death's
taunts away
,
wait
ing
for her sign.
One winter day
,
during an unexpected
rainstorm
,
Hannah stared blankly out
the
window.
A puddle of
drool was
slowly growing on the floor under her
wheelchair.
The
w
in
d
was blowing
intensely, leaves
and branches danced w
ildly
by Hannah
'
s
porthole
to the
outside world
.
The intensity of the storm
was
unsettling
:
Hann
ah
sensed
the orderlies
running
around as
they
frant
i
cally attempted
to
calm the worried patients.
As Hannah
vacantly
stared out the window
,
curiosity
was
ablaze
"
inside her
head
.
She
desired a
r
un through
the
rain
,
h
er arms outstre
t
ched to
collect
heaven
'
s
tears.
With
her
mind
on
th
is i
mage
,
she barely
noticed
a speck of black
moving towards
the
window
.
As the image
moved c
l
oser
,
it
began to materialize
in
the shape of a bird
.
Finally
,
Hannah
noticed it
,
snapping out of her daydream to the
J
et black
c
r
ow seconds before
it
came
to the window
.
The black
sheen
of
its
feathers and pear
ly
eyes were v
i
sible at
the window as
i
t
calmly
scratched, waiting patient
l
y to
be
le
t
in. Suddenly
,
the lock
on the shatterproof
window
clicked
open
,
the heavy pane
slid
up with ease
,
and the
crow s
lo
wly glided
into
the
sterile
world
of Hannah
Murberec
.
Hannah
wa
s
surprised by the crow
'
s docility
,
but
she knew why
i
t
had
appeared
.
She
wasn
'
t even
astonished by the crow
'
s
weight
as
it landed upo~ her shoulder
,
watch
-
ing
her with
an air
of solemn wisdom.
"
You
are free to go
now
,
Hannah
,
" the
crow
cooed
warm
ly
into
her ear
.
The withered
,
old woman with over
ninety
-
one years of wisdom and experience
,
simply
sat
and
l
istened to tr1e
crow's
melodic voice
like a child
who
awaited
the pleasant
command to
begin
naptime.
Hannah,
her eyes
full
of both
knowledge and
fatigue
,
mut-
tered,
"
Thank
you
,"
before she
closed
her
eyes
.
When she entered
his
realm
,
her dark
friend was wait
i
ng by
a
smoldering
fire.
Instead
of shying
away
from
his
sickly
yet pleas-
ant
touch
,
Hannah
'
s
youthful body
embraced
his
,
and
began a whirling
dance into eternity
.
21
5-I
p{ace
cl
wliere sorrows clrown
e
my clrink; to tliink..,it cou{cl subtract
e
tlie pain ancl numb tlie bitter eclge
n
tliat bites. 1Ju{[er now tlie cofors of
fife
s
rainbow, true- but better not to feel
I
tlieir b{istering brig/it- to fig/it tlie liurt
to fee{ lier pi{fow wet witli tears as
to face tlie wa{{. Stark..,ancl so so
too ta{{ to cfimb-so broacl ancl steep
to fincl a /io{cl- clown clown clown
1Jown tlie wa{l clon 't
fio{c{
lier cfose,
see
insicle
slie
s
turning
wliite, it seems
I'm struggfing
I'm s{icling.
to toucli lier
liair or sliow lier smi{e liow I usecl
to care
'Turning insteacl to my fove tliat
is quiet yet
its comforts engulfing, so smootli,
so tliick.., ancl
k..,issing me fast ancl fu{l si{encing
crusliing, I
fose unsliapecl worcls tliat wou{cl once
liave fa{{en
so simp{y from my ups, ancl {eave my feefings
in lier bell to clive lieacl first clown clown clown
into tlie murky muclcly cleptlis wliere regrets a~e
maskgcl by
{ife
s
clarl(Jiess, slie
s
a memory beyoncl reca{{.
Corry 1Jurclovic
22
New µorizons
Donna Jackson
gtrange. she thought to herself. It isn t how I expect:ed it to look at all. gquinting against the surpris-
ingly bright glare. she looked around at her new horne.
Vast green prairie stretched out: before her. fading to an alrnost level horizon. To her left stood a srnall
grove of scraggly trees. looking totally out: of place in the vast flatlands. A tiny stream rneandered lazny
through the north end of the grove and stretched to the sout:heast and west in its wandering paHern.
The
west end had a fork running to the north.
The
strearn seerned to have no beginning
.
no end. It
continued on. unceasingly. into the unknown.
The
source was just as rn~terious as the rnout:h.
On her right. the red sun sank lower
.
casting her shadow long and dark across the grass.
The
shadow s
head alrnost touched the grove of trees.
The
sun slipped quickly toward the horizon. ghe did not notice how swiftly it raced in its descending
course. ghe did not notice when the sun s edge kissed the west fork of the strearn. turning water and
sky alike as red as itself.
The
horizon blurred into a red haze of obscurity. But: she did not see any of this.
µer gaze was locked eastward.
The
soft green grass of the prairie was stained a vicious red. µer shadow stretched like a black scar
across the reddened grass. touching the grove at last. What alarmed her were the shadows of the
grove. Black arms groped. their dark tendrfls reaching for her shadow. ernbracing and absorbing her
darkness into the heart of its own. A slow shudder ran up her spine.
The
shadows shouldn t be reaching
toward her.
The
sun was on wrong side: t ~
couldn t be that way. Could th~?
It was already too late to ponder that question.
The
red ball disappeared beneath the horizon. bathing
the land in twmght. Distant stars glittered above her
.
out: of reach. But: she paid them no
heed.
ghe didn t
see their beaut:y.
The
encroaching darkness erased the haunting shadows and stroked her brow with a cool. soothing
touch. It quickly turned cold. and the frigid air bit into her. sinking its teeth in to the bone.
gi.e
shivered as
ut:ter darkness began to dairn the land. Turning to the north. which she had kept her back to all that t:irne.
she headed off in search of shelter frorn the i~ blackness of night:. Untn she turned. the north had gone
unnot:iced.
On the northern horizon. already indistinguishable in the gloorn
.
the dark hulk of a far-off rnountain
loorned up into the twmght:. blotting out: the stars. But: it was not as far-off as she thought:.
The
next rnorning erupted in a burst of color. Gone were the creeping black shadows of the night
before. The bright prairie glowed with life.
The
strearn s surface glittered like diarnonds. the soft: ripples
playing with the light.
The
new sun srnned warmly in the east. and a few peaceful douds drifted calrnly
by.
ghe viewed her new wonderland with the jubnant curiosity of a chfld. t:ven the grove of trees looked
gentler. No longer were the trees slippery rninisters of darkness.
but:
proud sentinels watching over the
peaceful land.
The
landscape soothed her. ghe had never expect:ed it to be this beaut:iful.
Without realizing it. she had been keeping her back to the north. ghe saw only the beaut:y of the land.
ghe did not see the rnountain. scm black against the sky: the only darkness in the bright new rnorning.
Neither did she not:ice the shadow hanging over the northern fork of the strearn
.
ghe worked hard through the day. using deadwood and anyt:hing else she could find in the grove to bufld
a shelter in a protect:ed spot not far frorn the north fork
.
ghe stopped to quench her thirst before goir-ig
out to forage. ghe found a couple of berry
bushes
and sorne other edible plants in and around the grove.
and contentedly harvested her breakfast.
guddenly she noticed the total snence. gtrange that there were no anirnals here. Not even a squirrel or
bird. There wasn t so rnuch as a cricket to break the snence
.
ghe fought off a chm and started to gather
food to score in her shelter
.
ghe stayed busy all day. ghe didn t even notice the racing shadows and deep red glow of sunset:. As
twnight crept over the land. she crawled into her shelter. happfly tired after all her work.
gi.e
accepted
the cold. biting wind as a nuance of the land. and ignored it as all people ignore the cornrnrnonplace.
The
strearn whispered quietly as it passed her on its way north.
The
scars gliHered softly in the blackness above. seerning rnore distant than t ~
were the night
before.
23
And t:he mount:ain loomed do;er.
. .
.
gt-ie
wa£ up wit:h t:he £un. welcoming t:he new morning wit:h a £mTTe.
gt-ie
at:e breakfa£t: and t:ook a long
drink of cool wat:er from t:he £t:ream. l--le£it:at:ing for a moment:. £he £tripped off her dot:he£ and depped
int:o t:he cool wat:er. 1--ler nort:h fork £eemed t:o move a lit:t:le fa£t:er t:han t:he we£t: end.
but:
£he didn t: mind
it:.
gt-ie
lowered her£elf int:o t:he wat:er unt:TT even her head wa£ t:ot:all'd immer£ed.
Afterward£, £he latJ on t:he £Oft: gra££, ba£king in t:he £un. ghe had never enjOtJed life a£ much a£ £he did
now, had never loved living a£ now. ghe hoped it: would never end.
The d~ £eemed t:o pa££ in t:he blink of an
~
gt,e
wondered how it: had gone £0 fa£t: a£ £he wat:ched
t:he red £un £Ii p below t:he horizon. The land wa£ bat:hed in glidening redne££. gr,e wat:ched a£ t:he
£tret:ching £hadow of t:he grove daimed her gho;t:l'd image. and repre££ed a £hiver a£ t:he cold wind bit:
t:hrough t:o her £OU!.
gt-ie
folded her artn£ aero;£ her che£t: in an at:t:empt: t:o £lay warm. and t:urned t:oward her £heller. Wit:h
a loud howl. t:he wind £trengt:hened and t:ore down t:he ricket:y £hack.
gt,e
£tared at: t:he £hadOWlJ remain£.
and £hivered violent:llJ-
The wind howled louder. and her fear grew wit:h each fre£h howl. ghe glanced up at: t:he £tar£. a£ if t:o
a£k for help.
but:
t:he di£t:ant: £tar£ receded even more. The mount:ain hulk loomed do;er.
gt-ie
do;ed her
eye£
and huddled again£t: t:he cold wind. Wit:h her
eye£
do;ed, £he could not: £ee t:he
dark mount:ain grow larger a£ it: neared. ghe could not: £ee t:he blackne££ blot: out: every di£t:ant: £tar.
gt-ie
felt: her£elf being lift:ed. ghe bit: her lip t:o £tifle a £cream. and a rivulet: of blood £10wllJ began t:o
t:rickle from bet:ween her denched t:eet:h. ghe reached a t:ent:at:ive hand downward. afraid t:o open her
eye£,
and felt: an immen£e palm beneat:h her.
gurpri£ed. £he finall'd opened her
eye£.
gt,e
£aw onllJ t:he £hadow£ of night:.
but:
her perception wa£ from
hundred£ of ~rd£ up. The £kid wa£ pit:ch black: not: a £tar glimmered in t:he velvet: blanket:.
gt-ie
looked
t:oward£ t:he nort:h in horror. The mount:ain wa£ gone. No. £he t:hought: t:o her£elf. It: £ jU£t becaU£e it: £ £0
dark. It: £ £t:m t:here. You jU£t can t: £ee it:. But: in her heart:. £he knew it: wa£ gone. No. not: gone.
but:
it: had
moved.
gt-ie
again felt: t:he palm beneat:h her.
The wind howled angrTTlcJ aero;£ t:he flat:
land.
ghe realized £he wa£ £iHing. and pulled her knee£ up t:o her
che£t:. wrapping her arm£ around t:hem. ghe £huddered again£t: t:he howling t:orrnent:.
l=rom t:he nort:h came a deep red glow on t:he horizon. !=or a moment:. t:he image of a haunt:ed £un£et:
fla£hed in her mind. In t:he red glare. £he £aw t:he horizon wa£ bare. Again£t: all her hope£. t:he mount:ain had
moved.
Terrified. £he looked down and glanced all around her. 1--ler frantic gaze £et:t:led on t:he grove. Black
£kelet:on£ ro;e high in t:he glare. t:heir out:£t:ret:ched artn£ fringed wit:h leave£. £avagely muminat:ed
blJ
t:he
blood-red glow. Dark £hadow£ flickered around t:he grove. and it:£ heart: wa£ pure black. Black £hadow£
bat:t:led wit:h gli£t:ening redne££ aero;£ t:he flat: prairie.
Wit:h horror. £he remembered t:he pa£t:. ghe remembered what: had brought: her t:o t:hi£ place.
gt-ie
£huddered a£ t:he memory fmed her mind.
l=rom t:he beginning. her life had been a £truggle t:o £urvive. But: £he had given up t:he bat:t:le.
gt-ie
couldn t: £land t:he pain. t:he t:ortnent:. anot:her dalJ- ghe feared and haled life wit:h a pa££ion. and became
ob£e££ed wit:h t:he inevit:able darkne££ at: t:he end of t:he road. ghe haled morning£. feared t:hem even. for
£he knew it: wa£ t:he beginning of anot:her d~ of pain. ghe even haled t:he night:,
,
for what: would follow
night:
but:
morning. and pain?
Three d ~ ago. her fear and hat:red had peaked. ghe could t:olerat:e no more.
gt,e
had come home t:o an
empt:'d hOU£e. picked up a knife wit:h cool~ and dead'd hand. and £hort:l'd £he breat:hed no more.
But: t:hat: wa£ before £he had come t:o t:hi£ paradi£e. t:hi£ heaven. The fir£t: dalJ. £he had been amazed
blJ
t:he beaut:!::!-
gt,e
had expect:ed t:o de£cend after t:he knife: £he had never dreamed t:hat: God would give
her a £econd chance. And in t:hi£ haven. £he learned t:o love life again.
go
whlJ
wa£ t:here not:hing
but:
cold darkne££?
gt,e
looked down at: t:he grove of tree£ once more. Rnall'd £he realized t:hat: t:hi£ wa£ no £econd chance
at: all: her £laid wa£ onl'd t:emporar!::1- The prairie wa£ not: a haven. It: wa£ jU£t one of t:he ma~ £top£ before
her final dark de£t:ination. It: wa£ onl'd t:he fir£t: of her plea£ant: experience£, de£igned t:o make her realize
how jOlJOU£ life Wa£. Onl'd t:hen would £he follow t:he £un on it:£ blood'd de£cent:. It: wa£ meant: t:o be t:ort:ure.
1--ler revelat:ion mU£t: have been correct:. ghe felt: her£elf moving. t:he not:-quit:e-£olid gargantuan hand
£tTTI £upport:ing her. Through t:he darkne££, t:he hand of t:he mount:ain holding her firtnllcJ, £he followed t:he
nort:hern fork t:oward t:he red horizon.
lnt:o t:he unknown.
24
Mosaic_F_1996_001
Mosaic_F_1996_002
Mosaic_F_1996_003
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Mosaic_F_1996_007
Mosaic_F_1996_008
Mosaic_F_1996_009
Mosaic_F_1996_010
Mosaic_F_1996_011
Mosaic_F_1996_012
Mosaic_F_1996_013
Mosaic_F_1996_014
Mosaic_F_1996_015
Mosaic_F_1996_016
Mosaic_F_1996_017
Mosaic_F_1996_018
Mosaic_F_1996_019
Mosaic_F_1996_020
Mosaic_F_1996_021
Mosaic_F_1996_022
Mosaic_F_1996_023
Mosaic_F_1996_024
Mosaic_F_1996_025
Mosaic_F_1996_026
Mosaic_F_1996_027
Mosaic_F_1996_028
Letter from El Presidente
You'll notice that the Mosaic looks rather dark and morbid this semester.
Although I could go on about how I don't know how the cover got so black. .
.
"Really Sir,
one minute it was white as an orange tulip then I looked away for a second and it was
black as the sun!", but I am well and prepared to relinquish the truth! My Chief Editor
(sigh) has been replaced by an evil twin
.
I know it is hard to believe
,
but it was he who
caused our Mosaic to appear so dismal.
For those of you who are offended by the color black, I apologize
.
For everyone
else, have a good time reading our latest and best compilation of Marist's best literary
works!
President: Jason Crandall
Chief Editor: JeffNovakouski
Submission E ~
fi
(h/t111f
t
1
Jason Crandall
Kevin Mewhiney
Heather Clarke
Tracy Campanella
Heather Deery
Scott Neville
Jaime Smith
Joe Patriss
Chelsey Ferrigno
Eric Dahlen
Donna Jackson
Mosaic Editors
Jason Crandall
Heather Clarke
Scott Neville
Joe Patriss
Chelsey Ferrigno
Eric Dahlen
Donna Jackson
As Always: Special thanks to Ooga
.
Literary Arts Society Mosaic
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
1
Letter from El Presidente
by Jason Crandall (El Presidente)
2
A Random Soldier's Thoughts Upon A Falsified Image
by Joe Laposta
4
Untitled (poem)
by Jason Martin
6
My Unspoken hero
by Jamie V
6
Ink-Ik
by Christian
Tenczar
7
And our souls intertwine
by Andrea J Sanford
8
Children of the Night
by
Donna
Jackson
9
Untitled (short story)
by ORG
10
Prophesy
by Rob
Casinghino
11
The Jaded Optimism's
by Kevin Mewhiney
12
Rape: Thoughts of a Victim
by Jaime Smith
14
Anatomy Song
by Kyle
Smith
14
Frail
by Jason Martin
15
Guardian Angel
by Joe Patriss
16
Just Another Face in the Crowd
by Heather
Clarke
17
Not till Death
by Adam Weissman
18
People These Days
by
Steve
Wanczyk
18
Untitled (poem)
by Gregg Arenson
19
Guemica
by Kevin Moore
19
Hannah Murberic
by Scott Neville
20
Untitled (poem)
by
Corry
Durdovic
22
New Horizons
by Donna Jackson
23
Artwork
Summer
by Susan Goodwin
Art for a Random Soldier
by Susan Goodwin
2 FREAKS
by Susan Goodwin
Untitled (CGI)
by ORG
3
5
7
back cover
1/
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A 8ANQOhl SOlQLf,t~s THOUGHTS UPON A fAlSJfJEQ U~lt\GE
TJ-IIOUGH THE END/.ESS
TEE1►UNG
ABYSS
1►JY
ONWARD SEJ.F PROJECTS THROUGH A SERIES OF !.A UGHS. THESE
BEING THOSE OF THE FAJ.SJFJED TYPE KNOWN UNTO THE WOR!.DS AS
DREA1►JS
.
THE EVER BJ.ACK RAIN OF
NOTHING DROWNING UNDER THE INTENSE HATRED I FEEJ. FOR 1WYSEJ.F AND OTHERS. HOW DOES IT FEE!. TO
PROP£!.
INTO THE END!.ESS NOTHING OF THE END? I DO NOT KNOW FOR A!.!. I KNOW I FEE!.. CONSTRICT/IVG
THE VICES IN ORDER TO KEEP
1►JY
!.JGHT SHUNNED INTO A VAU!. T. A PANDORA'S BO~'( THAT OPENS A!. WAYS
TO A PARADISE. BUT THAT JS THI WAI.KING PARADO~'(. UNFJJ.!.ED THOUGHT, WHISPERS AND DREA1WS WAJ.TZ
BY
1►JY
CONSCIENCE UNCONSCJENCE SE!.F TO THE
1►JAD
RAIWB!.JNG OF A
TRUl►JPETER
AND HIS VENOMOUS
VJOJ.JNJSTS. EACH NOTE STRhtJNGA
SCREA1►JJNGPITCH
WHICH JS HEARD BY THE DEAF HAND OF SANCTJ'TY.
AJ.J. FOR NAUGHT
Tll►JE
TO PAY THE PIPER! BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM BROKE AND HE HAS NO PIPES TO
P!.AY ON? WHAT THEN? I ASK THIS REPEATED!.Y TO THI WAVES OF
CONTINT1►JENT.
STORiWJNG INTO A REA!.M
OF HORROR ON!. Y TO BEU!.
Tll►JATI!.Y
REPEi.i.ED AT WHAT I HAVE BECOME. TO HEAVEN AND HADES I SEARCH
BUT FIND NOTHING OF VA!.UE TO THE
UT1►JOST
PERCEPTION OF THE OUT!.YJNG WASTE KNOWN AS THE
ETERNITY OF OUTCROPPING J.JES, DECEIT, AND HATEFUi.NESS. POWER FU!. BANTERING OF!. ONG FORGOrrEN
SOI.DIERS RISE UP TO BE HEARD ON!. Y BY DEAF EARS THAT QUJCl<J.Y GO DEAF TO THE VIBRANT ARO1WA OF THE
SOUND OF U!.
1/l►JATE
PAIN OF TRAVEJ.ERS !. ONG DEAD AND FORGOrrEN INTO THE
REA!.1►JS
OF DREAMS
WHICH CAN BE THE
1VJGHT1►JARES
OF AN AGE PAST. REF!.ECTJNG UPON THE
1►JONUIWENT
THAT HAS BEEN
BUJ!.T WITH THE B!. OOD OF
1►JY
SOU!. ON!. Y TO TEAR IT DOWN ON BEHA!.F OF
1►JYSE!.F
ON!.Y TO REBUJJ.D AND
'
CRY
BJ.
OOD OVER
1►JY
EFFORTS GONE TO REST IN A SHA!.!. OW
UtVl►JARKED
GRAVE THAT WAS CREATED EONS
AGO BEFORE I HAD
1►JY
FJNAJ. SAY IN THIS 1WAD JtVCAJ. CUJ.AB!.I EQUATION.
JOSEPH !.APOSTA
4
Disco\1erea in
a
tenaer 9ro\1e
A sfia(fow fio(e fio(ain9 9ra\1e secrets,
Ne\1er meant to 6e s_polten of,
E"ff masltea not to 6e recognize()
Wfiere time is tfie on(9 true re\1e(er,
As
is
a
cfiffa wfio trip_pea
O'1er
a
sfiort 6rolten fieaastone;
J\eaain9 of
a
sin9(e name
J'iffea witfi
a
m9ster9,
Unfocltea 69 questions
Xeant to see!( trutfi.
Wfiere
oo
9our secrets Cle 6uriea?
Can
a
9fiost of justice
.'.Fina tfiem 6Cina(9?
S fie fias fier wa9
Of
seeing 6e9ona fier casltet
No matter fiow fiara we
tT9
1'0
6ur9 fier 6eneatfi our sins.
Jason Xartin
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ore
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Uri:s-pokeri heQr"o. '-lou
con
do
no
\JJrorig '.Soyedo~, '-JJdll f-.J,eet" orid
I
krJO\JJ t-hot-
'-l
ou
\JJOr)
1
1
d
1
:soppo
1
rit-
ye
6
INK-IK
LOVE IN A FURNACE OF TWISTED GLASS,
THE REASON STAYS THE SAME.
DEFORMED, REPULSIVE AND SCARED TO THE CORE,
AND I'M THE ONE TO BLAME.
WHY BOTHER ...
REFLECT MY LOVE INTO THE GROUND,
PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET.
SOIL MY FEELINGS AND RAVAGE MY SOUL,
ANXIETY STARTS TO ROCKET.
DON'T BOTHER ...
IN
MY WORLD SYMPATHY DOESN'T EXIST.
IN
MY WORLD BLEEDING HEARTS DON'T DIE.
IN
MY WORLD SHATTERED DREAMS ARE EGGSHELLS.
IN
MY WORLD
I
LAUGH BUT DON'T KNOW WHY.
-WHISPER TO ME HOW YOU FEEL.
-
VISIT ME BEFORE MY MIND IS GONE.
-TIME
IS
A DIFFICULT
ITEM
TO MASTER.
-WHISPER
AGAIN WHEN SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG
.
CHRISTIAN TENCZAR
7
A
vui
OU¥
~
L4'\t"e,vtw~ .
.
~
clo-,,e,v
I
~
t"o- yow. .
.
The¢
~
'P~¥
C¼'
I
fhMtJv
of
love,
13
ta
wha-t'
of
love,?
Of
WLO.¥r~?
OfW¥?
Where,
ca-rv
I
{lA"ID./
yow?
Ivv~w..f?
I
~
f{,,,-J,t-
{lA"ID./
~:,clf;
~
cu--e,
the,
r!Ale1,,
of
Ufe,,,
Of
love;,
Of
ev
u,n,lo-n,
betwee,vv
two- lov~
Lover¥-
flcq,p~ t " ~
hoU
~
lover¥ cu--e,
u.,ni;t'ed,
the,(¥
WU¼'
become,
one,
I
~
yow
CU'\d-
~
CU'\d-
~
And✓...
I
do-!
I
do- WLO.¥YY yow
A¥yowdo-WLO.¥ry
me,
For
be,tte,y
or wor~
-the,
-forme,r
w
more,
~cibl.,e,-
I w ~
t"o-
~
Yow,
13
e,
wlth, yow
CU'\d-
vt.ea¥"
yow
W lth,
all,
~
hea¥-t,
I love, yow
Avui,
w~t"o-ha.Ne, yow wlth,
me,
et.Lw~¥
~
\IOW
¥
that-
we,
t"eu<
.
-e✓•
•
•
~
WLO.¥Y~ ha1,,
j!Mit
t"eu<:e,y\/ p ~
NO't
o'Vlfy
cu--e, we,
ofthe,
.w«,+ne,
13od;y
CU'\d,
ml+1d,
13
ta
it'
w
cq,pcu--~
that-
(:) LU'"
wu4,
lt'\t"EWtw
W\.e✓•
8
CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT
DONNA
JACKSO
N
A
SHROUD SLIPS SILENTLY
OVER
THE LAND.
THE
MOON AR
!
SES FULL.
U
NBR
IDLED
SPIRITS ROAM THE NIGHT.
THEIR
VO
I
CES
INVADE
THE
LULL.
A
WILDCAT SQUALLS IN VICTORY.
A
FALCONS SCREAM IS SHRILL.
YOUNG ONES,
LEFT
ALONE
I
N
THE
NEST,
QUAKE I
N
THE BLACKENED CHILL.
AN
OWL
HOOTS
IN THE DARKNESS;
A
GLOW OF YELLOW EYES.
ARISE, MY SHADOWY BRETHREN,
foR MIDNIGHT
HAS ARRIVED
.
THE WIND
WHISPERS
SOFTLY
THROUGH
T
HE TREES,
AND WHIPS TO A WRETCHED MOAN
.
A
TORTURED SOUL GROANS
IN
THE NIGHT,
HEART-WRENCHING
BUT NOT ALONE.
CRICKETS CHIRP IN CHORUS.
A
CROW
CALLS
FROM AFAR.
ARISE, MY
BROTHERS
OF THE NIGHT.
ARISE, AND SING TO THE STARS.
A
WRAITH
EMERGES FROM DARKNESS
A
N
D WALKS THE
EARTH
ANEW
.
THE BLACK
MAN SNARLS
IN
THE FOREST,
HEARD ONLY BY A FEW.
A
WOLF PACK HOWLS OUT
HAU
NTING
LY,
BRINGI
NG
ITS
WOES TO BEAR.
A
KESTREL CRIES OUT SHARPLY
.
A
BAT SAILS THROUGH THE AIR.
TH
EN THE
STARS FADE OUT TO DAYLIGHT
WITH GAY SONG
FROM WAKING WRENS.
SLEEP
N
OW,
0
CHILDREN OF
THE
NIGHT,
TILL
MIDNIGHT COMES AGAIN
.
9
"The
soft
drip of the pJri.son.e:r'
s
blood could 'barely be
he
al'd oveJr
the huum of
the
printing press. Hi.s spirit
baJ been birol.en long before tlh.e last of his :ribs
snapped
.
He
knew his enJ was ni.glb. Cougibi.n.g up imore MooJ bim
his
abuseJ
iun.gs, he fell to his lk:nees
anJ
looked up
at
his capfo:r with his one relt1tllann.i.ng
gooJ
eye.
"Clad
in a trenchcoat wi.th imost of lb.i.s face hiJJen in d1e
shadow
of his hat, the capfoll' gazeJ Jown at the
one i.n his imeJrcy. He h,.J foyeJ with the pll'ison.e:r long enough. He stooJ ...dmiJring hi.s han.Ji.wo:rl.c lbefoll'e Jeali.n.g tlb.e
final blow. Hi.s
leather
gloves cJreakeJ as he twisted d1e
pipe
in
his hands."
Dr. Douglas
sfoppeJ
:reaJi.n.g the
shghdy
c:ruimpleJ paper before
hi:11n
an.J
loolkeJ
ovell'
the ll'D.llllllS of his glasses
at
Tim.. The lboy lai.J on the couch &eJross the Jrooni. He
studied
th
e
boy
,
frying to Jelve i.nto the eieven-year-olJ'
s
niinJ fo find the cause of the inn.ell' fuJr:vnoil. He feit
a
pang of pity on the lad,
anJ
on tlhe boy's mothell' who
sat
in
the waiting :room no more than fifty feet away.
The
,.;_,.
con.li.ti.onell' made d1e
g
l&s
s
mobile which hung i.n. the crnrn.er of tbe docfor'
s office
click
softly.
Tim had
saiJ
nothing
s
ince
he enteJreJ Douglas' office two hours
ago s&ve
a
short, nrn:mbled
heBilo
.
He laid
on the couch
,n,pparen.
tly
olblivi.ous fo everyt;lbmg
&nJ
everyone,
and
stared up
&t
tlb.e ceiiling counting the holes
in
tbe
tile.
The Jocfor loolkeJ lbac.k Jown.
at
tlhe pile
of
d.r&wi.n.gs
&n.d sfo:ries
on his deslk that
T'
rm'
s
niother
baJ
given
hiim d,,.t rn.orruing. Every one of tlh.eim dlepicted the pain anJ Je,.th of someone or
something. Here
was
a
sketch of
a coffin
with fangs chewing on
a
f&celess,
screanung
woman. There was
&
detailed written description
of
the
pain
of
having the firont of one's
skuH
forn. off. E,.clb. &n.J every one of them w&s
s
igned
in & corner with the
words,
"Hate, then J.i.e."
DI!'. Dougi&s
si.gheJ an.J snppeJ
at his coffee. He l.aJ long
since
given. up on trying fo talk to the boy. He
was
totally
unresponsive,
frapped. i.n lbis own made-up world which the Jocfo:r coulJ
see
through Tim's drawings
and
Wll'D.tten
words.
A
weelk ago,
Tim.'
s
1tnothell',
Sue,
haJ imaJe &n. appointment to
see
Dr. Dougl&s.
She
had entered the
office
on
the veJrge of te&rs. When Douglas had
aslkeJ.
hell' why she lb.ad come, ailil of hell' troubles
h,.J
coD1e pouring out
thJrough hell' te&Jrs. She
was
very concerned albout her son eveJr since hell' huslbanJ Ji.eJ during a Jrobbery.
"Tim was
su
ch
& happy lboy,"
she
had
saiJ
to the JoctoJr, "until lb.is father w&s lki.HeJ. Then be became
very
quiet. lF'i.n.allly he stoppeJ talllk:ing
,.}together ..
" Sue JreacheJ Jown. &n.J pulled a tissue from the bow sitting on the
talble. She Jalblb,eJ her
eye
s
.
"He sfoppeJ eating alliogether. He woulJ onily eat if
K
imade
some
forltn of Jtneat for him,
anJ it haJ to lbe rare. He never
toRJ
me this, but aftell' a wh
i
le
K
Ilearn.eJ that w&s ail he would e&t.
He's
been like
this for dllll'ee rn.onths now, anJ
K'
ve
started to fi.n.J his drawings. He
s
cares
rn.e. He never
shows
eltnotion, just walks
pull'posefully fll'oltll1L ll'OOllll1L to Jroorn. to sit in a
chai
r
and! st&re at
the
waillls for an hour. K've only seen him betray
how
he feels in.siJe once.
K
s&w
him
s
ittin
g
in front of the
TV;
pllayi.ng his viJeo
garn.es.
Kn
the reflection of tbe
sc
r
een
K
saw
his expression. was Mank until he
shot
one of the chaJracte:rs in. the
garn.e.
Then he simiJeJ for
a
moment, then
lkiHeJ the next one."
Tlh.e JocfoJr
stooJ
up froim his chaill'
anJ
piclkeJ up his cli.plboard. He a]w,n,ys hafoJ doing tlh.is. After
l
ooking
once Jtnore
at
Tim, who staJreJ up
unfl
inchin
gly,
he fumeJ
anJ
pl&ceJ his lhan.J on the Joo:rlk:nob
to
hi
s
office.
Douglas furneJ it an.J left the office, cilosi.n.g d1e Joor quiedy behin.J him.self.
Tlhe
gilass
molbile chin.lkeJ softly.
Sue saw the J.ocfor appiro&ch &ndl 1tnade
a
feelbile attempt
at
lbrushi.ng the te&Jrs firom her cheeks.
"Sue," Douglas
saiJ
quietly, "in. rn.y professional opinion,
K
feel tlbat Tim n.eeJs to be placeJ
in
a
h
ospital
where he c&n
get
the help he neeJs.
K
neeJ your
signature
to
authorize his coimllllittal." He
offered
the clipboard
to
hell',
Sue's
soblbing started
anew.
She
buri.eJ her face in her h,.nJs foll'
a
n10ment, then toolk the pen
and
quickly
signed
lhell' name.
ORG
PR9PHECY
>
BY R9B CASINGHIN9
~
~
WHEN +HE fIRE C9MES. WE SI+ HERE WA+CHING
~
~
TSNGUES 9f fLAME; fALLING. BURNING ••• SC9RCHING
~
THE EAR+H SHAKES. +HE LIGH+NING CLASHES
O<
Z
AN EXPL9SI9N fRSM +HE DIS+ANCE CRASHES
THE SCREAMS 9f +H9SE WHSM WE.VE BEfRIENDED
THEIR AG9NY HAS fINALLY ENDED
THE SMELL 9f DEA+H PERVADES +HE AIR
WE WH9 ARE LEf+. WE De Ne+ CARE
~
THE INf ERNS HI+ S US. WE S+AND +HERE WA+CH ING
z
V
LL
A _
SL9WING BURN ING
SL9WLY SCSRCHING
11
RessaRRecceo: JAoeo opc1m1sm paRc
10
I -i:eaR I'll noc be ooc co plag
le seems I'm noc balanceo conag
mg SWORn's Re'CORn0'0,. slon5 A.C mg STOe
Ann cbe oln 5Reg ARmoR,. mg beavg broe
Wbg A.Re cbeg back,.
!
ask w1cb nRean
As cR1es o-i: Celcs soR5e cbR005b mg bean
'CbeRe's boc one cb1n5 co caose cb1s -i:eaR
A neanlg WgRm 1s nRA.w1n5 neaR
One I ban belpeo poc nor.on co Resc
R1sen a5a1n co 51ve new qoesc
V1aoos ORA.5on,. awake'n .J=Rom slombeR
Seeks ooc mg sool,. ceaRs 1c asonneR
Sommoneo now bg naRkesc neeo
bg WReccbes,. wanes ann lose ann 5Reeo
leacbeR w1n5s n1sc0Rc cbe Skge
As cR1mson neacb seen soaR1n5 b15b
'Cbe beasc cocs ooc A. neanlg swacb
All cbm5s sball n1e cbac cRoss 1-cs pacb
le wooln be w1se co Ron awag
boc love O.J= lt.J=e masc baR mg wag
'Co coRb ann ose cbe 1nneR RA.Se
l=ll neeo cbg w1snom bRocbeR mase
Ann SCRenscb I'll bave .J=ROm A. CROe .J=Rletln
SeeR scann bg me onul cbe eon
looneR ann m15bueR cban ang cbo1R
SpRm5s bope eceRnal .J=Rom cbe SqrnRe
'Cbe bace-i:oll cb1n5 cbac SCA.RS above
Wooln be cbe eon o-i: all I love
boc mg nem1se 1c sball noc see
1-J= I masc baccle,. So moce le be
Reacb w1cb1n ann s1lence cbRee
'Cbe one RemA.1n1n5 1s cbe keg
Rel1nqrnsb concRol,. lee b1m be me
I sense cbe Km5bc ... Ann Sec btm .j:Ree!
bg Keom mewbmeg
-Cbe lrnrnoRcAl: JA--oet, Opam1s1m pARC
11
cRg bac CADD0C RernernbeR, cbe 1'Ags wben
I
coaln .J=lg
be.J=ORe SA"Oness Arl"O pAJD Arl"O RASe, be.J=0Re mg pRSC CASCe 0.J= bAccle
AD1' beo.J=Re cbe bAce.J=all ones placket:> me .J=Rom cbe skge
now
I
CAD onlg scAD"O AD1' WAccb cbe scoRm Abooe
AD"O baRn JD cbe boc sAlcg RA1n.
mg bAD"Os cAnnoc boln cbe cb1nss
I
WAnc masc
-Cbe cb1nss
I
neet:> co saRrnoe
AD1' so cbeg All slip AWAg JD cbe erl"O
-Cben AC lAsc
I
Am no moRe
bac cbeRe 1s no peAce, .J=0R
I
Rise Anew.
I
mag neoeR bot-o one 0.J= mg lmes
noc Lons enoasb co enjog 1c
eAcb new b1Rcb bR1nss .J=ORcb moRe WAR
-Cboasb cbe pAIDS 0.J= pASC IDCARDAU0DS SCAg.
-Cbe baRns Arl"O clAW SCARS
I
soasbc .J=Reet:>om .J=Rom
now
I
bolt, "OeARlg As .J=A--01ns memencos
O.J= A l1.J=e
I
Am loosJDs .J=Asc
-Coo soon
I
masc bes1n ASAID .
.J=AICb JD -Com0RR0WS: JA--oet, Opam1sm PARC
12
be.J=oRe Lons mg joaRneg will beSJD
Lons Arl"O --01.J=pcal C lC Will be
eoeR masc 1 .J=0RSe AbeA1'
Seekins cbe ADSWeRS I 1'0 DOC bAoe
Sn~
_
enscb 0.J= w1ll 1s rncAl
eceRn1cg 1s cbe onlg comoRRow
OescRogJDS .J=0ReoeR All 0.J= mg gesceRnAgs
becceR cbAc cben Accepc cbe beRe AD1' now
enltsbcenmenc will be mJDe!
A
n
t)
-i:
A
R
e
w
e
l
l
Anatomy
Song
by Kyle
Smith
whip
c
ra
c
k
legs kicking
arms
neck mouth
open
ret
c
hing
a troubadour an entrepreneur
a
c
loset
and a dark space
look ba
ck
h
ea
ds turning
and the
world lets itself hide behind
you
as it tries to find
you
who you
re.ally
are
what parts are making you up
what makes you so bitter
something black
and something secret
something pure and evil
makes one feel real.
14
Jaime Smith
Rape:
Thoughts of a Victim:
And as
the
shadows overtake
me
Why can't I turn around?
The silence is unbroken;
I cannot
make a
sound.
Still, my heart is beating
My pain, my loss, my fear.
My
sanity, retreating,
I know my hell starts here.
And nothing I destroy,
And nothing I create,
Can change
the
life I'm
living,
Can stop the burning hate.
And I'm struggling through darkness,
Crying bitter tears;
Consumed by the silence,
I know my hell starts here.
What happened to my feelings?
What happened to my mind?
Why did
I
move away from love
And leave it far behind?
In the darkness, yearning,
I wonder what I hear.
And it's
the
silence burning;
I know my hell
...
Starts ...
Here
...
Emil
lhese momeots of emptioess
,9eem to pass ever so slowt2
~
l walk empt2, cold streets
To
'
fiod o tooch of comfort
White achiog koees cr2,
[v\wd releots after bod2
Tme slices awa2 m2 delicate part;
~shiog throogh teoder petals
To
carve oot o sacred bleediog core,
t'(:j
if she does oot care.
alooe searchiog for that hood
Who coo restore ioooceoce stoleo,
%sorrect m2 teoderoess
~ow oil tattered aod toro,
Beateo aod blood2,
jtoleo awa2 b2 o thief.
'walk oimlesst2 searchiog
Vor o momeot of salvatioo
lo o lifetime of sacrifice;
~o2iog that m2 aogel desceods sooo
To
meod these brokeo wiogs,
%0I
m2 meoger bod2 with her love.
lere is 0012 o cold sileoce
To
greet m2 braises,
Ool2 cloth to ceose blood from m2 iooer core,
~rel2 oo echo retoroed
To
o shodow thot wos me.
1\Qchor of time t2iog dowo m2 soot,
(aptoriog her mogic io soft flesh
Borot scorlet with 2oor ropes of iojostice,
Where are 200 wheo l oeed 200?
Whot is left to ooswer m2 screoms
(xcept 2oor emptioess.
Teors will oot wosh this poio owo2,
~or will the2 poss the time;
Ool2 feel o secood slip owo2
~
l sit here with m2 legs clomped shot
Bleediog oot whotever ioooceoce left,
.Driokiog Solt of these wooods
for hoors ood do2S, toste m2 blood for 2eors.
l have foith thot these hoors sholl pass,
flesh wooods will eveotooll2 heol,
Bot there is somethiog else 200 coooot restore
kft io hood priots of blood thot oever wash owo2,
1\_
crioge left as l siok oWo2 from 2oor tooch,
darkoess ...
15
Guardian Angel
by Joe Patriss
Everyone who is still alive thinks that being a guardian angel is some great honor. Well, I can tell
you, it's not. At times it can be, forgive me, pure Hell. Actually, it's a lot like doing community service. No
one really wants to be a guardian angel, or at least I didn't. You either volunteer at some point after you die
or you get stuck doing it to get out ofLimbo
.
Guess why I've got the job. Can you believe that people
actually want to be guardian angels? I mean, wouldn't you rather spend eternity sitting on some puffy white
cloud and relaxing than running
all
over creation because you're stuck baby-sitting some nit-wit. You know
Limbo, don't you? Limbo is where you get stuck if you're not good enough to get into Heaven but not bad
enough to go to Hell. In order to get out of Limbo you have to prove you're worthy of entering Heaven by
becoming a guardian angel and protecting someone or a lot of people. Right after I got to Limbo, Heaven
sent me my wings and my assignment.
Limbo is a really lousy place. There is absolutely nothing
.
There's no one, no light, no sound, no
time. Nothing at all. It's extremely boring. They could put in a TV and VCR and supply some lousy
movies. That would make it more bearable. I've suggested it, but God said that a TV and VCR would
really detract from that nothingness theme He has working.
The person that I am supposed to be guarding is little Danny Henderson. He's basically a good kid,
but man, does he get into trouble. He's got this little electric car that he rides around his yard in. That thing
has caused me no end of trouble
.
I don't know which one ofhis brilliant relatives gave him this car. I can
almost hear them thinking
.
Hmmm. What would little Danny like for his fifth birthday? I know! Let's get
him a little electronic car that he can ride around in and drive into the street when no one is looking. I don't
mean to be mean, but people are really stupid at times. Actually, p~ople aren't stupid, it's just that they
really need to think more. If they thought more, well there probably wouldn't be a need for guardian angels.
Oh well, Danny's relatives are learning. I just wish they wouldn't insist on learning the hard way. His
parents are good people who mean well, but they are still learning to be parents. Otherwise there wouldn't
have been so many near misses in the few short years that Danny has been alive
.
Actually, some of these
incidents have had some rather interesting, actually humorous turnabouts. You see, Dan's parents aren't the
only ones who are learning about watching Dan. I'm still new at this guardian angel bit. It's not like there's
a manual to read or a training session you go to like you would at a job. A lot ofit is basically learning as
you go.
Basically, when you become a guardian angel all that you get is your wings and a piece of paper
.
That piece of paper comes directly from God. It tells you two things
.
The first thing it tells you is how to
put the wings on. The second thing it tells you is to pray a lot. That's not much information, but I've found
out a lot of other things by talking to other guardian angels. One thing that I found out is that any guardian
angel can materialize in the world of the living. When we materialize, we can take on the form of the person
that we were when we were alive or any other person we saw while we were al!ve, plus the angel wings.
This means that if we met on earth while we were still alive, I could materialize on earth and look exactly like
you. This also means that I can take on the shape of any movie star I've seen. This is where it gets funny.
A lot of us guardian angels have a sense of humor. I can't count the number of people who claim that they
have been saved by Elvis Presley. I guess you can now see where all the Elvis sightings have come from.
To answer the age-old question, yes, Elvis is really dead
.
He's playing concerts all over creation.
While I'm at it, let me shatter a few more myths about guardian angels
.
The myth that we carry
harps is not true. I don't know how to play a harp
.
I have never actually even been in the same room as a
harp in all the time I've been alive or dead. And I don't even really care ifl ever see one. Also, there is
another myth about us having halos above our heads. Well, that myth isn't entirely false. We do and we
don't. Maybe I'd better explain. God originally gave each and every angel a halo. The reason for this is so
that he can look down on earth and in a moment's glance, see where all his angels are. A halo isn't anything
16
particularly special. It's a lot like being tagged by the Wildlife Association. It might be easier to look at it
that way. Also, God can reach down and grab any angel He wants by the halo and drag them back into
Heaven when He's got something to say to us that's important. He can do this because, well, He's God.
Anyway, a lot of guardian angels found it very difficult to have this very bright glowing ring hovering
six inches above their heads. It was cool because you didn't have to tum the light on if you had to get up in
the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, but it was really annoying because it made it impossible to
sleep
.
More importantly, though, it made the whole guardian angel bit a whole lot more difficult. You see,
when guardian angels materialized, the halo was still there
.
This was bad because guardian angels will often
materialize on earth as humans and mingle among them in order to protect their person
.
Mingling with a
glowing basketball hoop floating above your head was understandably difficult. God got enough complaints
and fixed all our halos so now only He can see them. I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I know it
works a lot like the hand-stamps you get at Disney World if you want to re-enter the park after you have
left. You get your hand stamped with some clear stamp when you leave the park and then when you re-
enter later, they shine an ultra-violet light on it and the stamp shows up
.
God apparently has some really big
ultra-violet light that he shines on earth
.
When He does this, all our halos show up and He knows where we
are
.
I heard He might be changing the way our halos work again because of something about a hole in the
ozone layer
.
I don't know. We'll see.
Well, that's all the advice I can think ofright now. Try and learn as much as you can on your own
.
If
you need help, I'll be around
.
Now just step through
those
gates over there and go to the room on your
left. That's where you get your wings. Say 'hi' to Saint Peter when you pass through the gates.
Just Another Face in the Crowd
by Heather Clarke
Just another face in the crowd
People walk by but do they see me?
They say my name, but it is not my own.
Lonely I walk the hall head hung low.
Will I always be just another face in the crowd?
They look at me, but right through me.
Eyes slipping away never to consider what they saw
Not a second thought for the lonely face in the crowd
17
Not till Death
Not till death,
The world to cease.
To become a man at peace.
A man at peace, or a man at rest.
On a journey, or on quest.
In
the clearing,
Or in the far,
With a wound.
And with a scar.
The txx:ly lay lifeless on the floor.
The soul goes off to search for more.
The soul may be in heaven or hell
But it=s not till the stop of the tolling bell.
Though txx:ly is dead.
And mind is gone.
Cease no more,
The Soul Lives On!
People These Days
People these days don't impress me too much.
With their body piercings and senseless songs;
Suicide's legit and drugs are a crutch-
Truth filtered through the barrel of their bongs.
Responsibility? A thing not taught.
Respect forgotten, decency denied-
Why is everyone so goddamn distraught?
By Adam Weissman
It seems sometimes that the good things have died.
Drink in a sunset, not a can of Coors,
For natural highs are more long-lasting.
Find a heart, a song, that you can cal
I
yours,
And cling to it when shit is happening.
People these days are society's whore.
They sti 11 haven't found what they' re looking for.
Steve Wanczyk
18
tiuernica
Ifevtn Moore
Mother crtes. her mouth stretched wtde
abrea~t ol
a
twt~ted mare.
The babe tn her arms. gone lrom the not~e.
ts dead.
ialvos suround ...
a
dtatorted arrav
apltts the fragmented scene.
The ntghtrnare-brutal. protracted moment
attn tn lranttc reign.
Patn ts the one happy
.
laughing
at
peace.
thts leeltng-lorm. evident.
Oniv one here wtth anv pride
vatn enough to be seen.
litde vour eve~I
!&oolt not on the patnI
Tots patnter wt~he~ vou would.
Toe artist round where. beside wreckage
and blood. hts brush
could delfne chaos.
19
Gregg Arenson
Call a doctor
I
have cliche poisoning
Is there a cure?
Is there a remed?
Mabe something new?
It doesn't exist
Mabe something fresh?
No, the've alread done it
Damn it damn it
damn it to hell
I
feel so sick
m glands are starting to swell
Please do me a favor
And quote ourself
Make me laugh
And I'll drink to our health.
Hannah
Murberec
By
Scott Neville
The Gilcrest
Convalescent
Facility was a top
notch
vegetable
bin. Every elderly
person with little functioning brain matter was granted
access
to
a minuscule cubicle,
cable television
,
and a
stone
mattress
.
Most people were
content
with these accommo
-
dat
ions
,
though most were barely aware of their own names
.
This made resident care
easy
for
the highly
in
competent staff. These people,
supposedly
"Registe
r
ed
Geriatric
Nursing
Technicians
,
" were tru
l
y
noth
in
g
but
teenagers
who occasionally make rounds
between
their
cigarette breaks
.
Unfortunate
ly
,
the
patients
seemed not to
realize
this
,
or were incapab
l
e of vo
icin
g the
i
r concerns
.
The
re was
,
however
,
one person who
cared.
She res
i
ded
in
a room
in
the
top
West
Wing, tucked
away in
a corner w
i
th
the
ot
h
er
terminal
patients.
T
he cell was ster
il
e,
scrubbed rigorously with acerbic bleach
and d
isin
fectant
.
Not even
the
faint
trace
of
urine could waft out when the heavy oaken door was
sealed
sh
u
t. The room itself was
p
leasant
enough, but
st
ifl
i
ngly
vacant
:
everything
but
the
dark television
screen
was
a
dreadfu
l
l
y gleaming white.
Even
the tangled ha
i
r on
top
of
the
old women
'
s bowed head
was
devoid
of pigment.
Hannah
Murberec had
once
been a beaut
ifu
l woman runn
in
g through green pastures
on fragrant
summe
r even
i
ngs.
She used her
lithe
body
and
unusual
grace to dazzle
c
r
owds
of
spectato
rs
at every town
da
nce
,
stopp
i
ng the show
w
i
th
her sensual steps
an
d
sultry snickers,
as
each
po
t
e
ntial
su
i
tor
atte
mpted to
get clo,se
enough
to smell
the a
llu
ring aphrodisiac
of h
er perfume
mingling
w
i
th
her sweat.
Seventy-two years later
,
Hannah
'
s body
reta
i
ned
none
of
it
s original
splendor
,
its
orig
in
a
l
voluptuousness
.
The w
i
th
ered
,
wrinkled
ca
dre
fought daily against
a
cold
,
yet
intense
l
y
i
nvit
i
ng
shadow
:
Death
l
u
r
ked a
r
ound eve
r
y
corner
,
every chime of the clock
,
i
mpatiently wa
iti
ng to take
h
er
away.
But Hannah was nothing
the
mere
sh
adow of
a
person that everyone saw: she
w
as
not
si
mp
l
y a broken
fig
ure
fo
l
ded up
i
n the wheelchair that
ha
d
to be bathed
da
il
y
w
i
th abras
i
ve
soaps
and
acerbic
shampoos.
Her
mind was as sharp as it had been when
she was e
i
ghteen,
still full
of life
,
wo
nd
e
r
,
a
n
d
v
i
ta
l
ity
. Years
of reflection and
i
ntrospec
-
tion
have
made
Hannah
w
is
e a
n
d self-sat
i
sfied
,
but externa
ll
y dead.
People
,
re
l
atives
and fr
i
ends,
occasionally
dropped
in
to
st
are
at
her dec
i
mated
body
.
Only
the
curious children dare to qu
i
ckly touch
her wilted
ski
n
,
pulling away
quickly
as
if their fingers
had been scalded.
Their
touch e
l
ectrified
her
,
sparking
a ro
ll
ercoaster
_
of emot
i
ons
:
love rapture,
J
ealo
usy
,
and
despa
ir
a
ll i
n a single touch. These
emb
r
aces
were few and far
between
- even orderlies were careful not to g
i
ve her the satisfaction
of
human
contact.
The
orderlies were not attempting
to
be cruel
,
but she
'
s been catego-
rized as a
"
Rotten Veggie
,"
one who
i
s beyond reach
-
a mushy eggplant wh
i
ch had fallen
to
the
s
park
ling
floor of the supermarket. To
them
,
Hannah was simply
another drool
i
ng
pat
i
ent pro
l
onging
a
meaningless existence. She
tried
hundreds
of
times to communicate
20
and prove them wrong
,
but her deteriorating physical presence rendered her powe
r
less
to relay any
message
to the outside world.
Hannah was miserable
as
she
constantly
brooded upon her isolation
,
as
she
con-
tinually
flirted
with the handsome dark
figure
of Death who
ceaselessly
nagged at her
hee
l
s
.
She
held on
,
though
,
as
she
waited
for the
perfect moment
to give in
to his pleas-
ant
promise of peace
.
The paradises that
he
elaborated
upon
were fantastic
,
mythical
realms
of
p
leas
ure where
she
would
be
eternally
youthful and
free
.
But
Hannah had a
keen
mind
:
she
would always mention
that she
li
ved
in
he
r
own
paradise
,
w
ithin
her
own
mind
,
and resisted becoming
part
of someone
else
'
s realm.
So the
days
,
week
s
,
and years slowly
dragged
by. Orderlies came
and left, pa
-
tients suffered and
died,
and
H
annah
reclined
and wasted
away.
Months had passed
between
v
i
sitors
,
and
she
had given
up on
them
:
they weren
'
t the reason
she continued
anyway
.
~
1
he
really didn
'
t
know
why
she
endured the deterioration of
her
quality of
life
,
but still
s
he pushed Death's
taunts away
,
wait
ing
for her sign.
One winter day
,
during an unexpected
rainstorm
,
Hannah stared blankly out
the
window.
A puddle of
drool was
slowly growing on the floor under her
wheelchair.
The
w
in
d
was blowing
intensely, leaves
and branches danced w
ildly
by Hannah
'
s
porthole
to the
outside world
.
The intensity of the storm
was
unsettling
:
Hann
ah
sensed
the orderlies
running
around as
they
frant
i
cally attempted
to
calm the worried patients.
As Hannah
vacantly
stared out the window
,
curiosity
was
ablaze
"
inside her
head
.
She
desired a
r
un through
the
rain
,
h
er arms outstre
t
ched to
collect
heaven
'
s
tears.
With
her
mind
on
th
is i
mage
,
she barely
noticed
a speck of black
moving towards
the
window
.
As the image
moved c
l
oser
,
it
began to materialize
in
the shape of a bird
.
Finally
,
Hannah
noticed it
,
snapping out of her daydream to the
J
et black
c
r
ow seconds before
it
came
to the window
.
The black
sheen
of
its
feathers and pear
ly
eyes were v
i
sible at
the window as
i
t
calmly
scratched, waiting patient
l
y to
be
le
t
in. Suddenly
,
the lock
on the shatterproof
window
clicked
open
,
the heavy pane
slid
up with ease
,
and the
crow s
lo
wly glided
into
the
sterile
world
of Hannah
Murberec
.
Hannah
wa
s
surprised by the crow
'
s docility
,
but
she knew why
i
t
had
appeared
.
She
wasn
'
t even
astonished by the crow
'
s
weight
as
it landed upo~ her shoulder
,
watch
-
ing
her with
an air
of solemn wisdom.
"
You
are free to go
now
,
Hannah
,
" the
crow
cooed
warm
ly
into
her ear
.
The withered
,
old woman with over
ninety
-
one years of wisdom and experience
,
simply
sat
and
l
istened to tr1e
crow's
melodic voice
like a child
who
awaited
the pleasant
command to
begin
naptime.
Hannah,
her eyes
full
of both
knowledge and
fatigue
,
mut-
tered,
"
Thank
you
,"
before she
closed
her
eyes
.
When she entered
his
realm
,
her dark
friend was wait
i
ng by
a
smoldering
fire.
Instead
of shying
away
from
his
sickly
yet pleas-
ant
touch
,
Hannah
'
s
youthful body
embraced
his
,
and
began a whirling
dance into eternity
.
21
5-I
p{ace
cl
wliere sorrows clrown
e
my clrink; to tliink..,it cou{cl subtract
e
tlie pain ancl numb tlie bitter eclge
n
tliat bites. 1Ju{[er now tlie cofors of
fife
s
rainbow, true- but better not to feel
I
tlieir b{istering brig/it- to fig/it tlie liurt
to fee{ lier pi{fow wet witli tears as
to face tlie wa{{. Stark..,ancl so so
too ta{{ to cfimb-so broacl ancl steep
to fincl a /io{cl- clown clown clown
1Jown tlie wa{l clon 't
fio{c{
lier cfose,
see
insicle
slie
s
turning
wliite, it seems
I'm struggfing
I'm s{icling.
to toucli lier
liair or sliow lier smi{e liow I usecl
to care
'Turning insteacl to my fove tliat
is quiet yet
its comforts engulfing, so smootli,
so tliick.., ancl
k..,issing me fast ancl fu{l si{encing
crusliing, I
fose unsliapecl worcls tliat wou{cl once
liave fa{{en
so simp{y from my ups, ancl {eave my feefings
in lier bell to clive lieacl first clown clown clown
into tlie murky muclcly cleptlis wliere regrets a~e
maskgcl by
{ife
s
clarl(Jiess, slie
s
a memory beyoncl reca{{.
Corry 1Jurclovic
22
New µorizons
Donna Jackson
gtrange. she thought to herself. It isn t how I expect:ed it to look at all. gquinting against the surpris-
ingly bright glare. she looked around at her new horne.
Vast green prairie stretched out: before her. fading to an alrnost level horizon. To her left stood a srnall
grove of scraggly trees. looking totally out: of place in the vast flatlands. A tiny stream rneandered lazny
through the north end of the grove and stretched to the sout:heast and west in its wandering paHern.
The
west end had a fork running to the north.
The
strearn seerned to have no beginning
.
no end. It
continued on. unceasingly. into the unknown.
The
source was just as rn~terious as the rnout:h.
On her right. the red sun sank lower
.
casting her shadow long and dark across the grass.
The
shadow s
head alrnost touched the grove of trees.
The
sun slipped quickly toward the horizon. ghe did not notice how swiftly it raced in its descending
course. ghe did not notice when the sun s edge kissed the west fork of the strearn. turning water and
sky alike as red as itself.
The
horizon blurred into a red haze of obscurity. But: she did not see any of this.
µer gaze was locked eastward.
The
soft green grass of the prairie was stained a vicious red. µer shadow stretched like a black scar
across the reddened grass. touching the grove at last. What alarmed her were the shadows of the
grove. Black arms groped. their dark tendrfls reaching for her shadow. ernbracing and absorbing her
darkness into the heart of its own. A slow shudder ran up her spine.
The
shadows shouldn t be reaching
toward her.
The
sun was on wrong side: t ~
couldn t be that way. Could th~?
It was already too late to ponder that question.
The
red ball disappeared beneath the horizon. bathing
the land in twmght. Distant stars glittered above her
.
out: of reach. But: she paid them no
heed.
ghe didn t
see their beaut:y.
The
encroaching darkness erased the haunting shadows and stroked her brow with a cool. soothing
touch. It quickly turned cold. and the frigid air bit into her. sinking its teeth in to the bone.
gi.e
shivered as
ut:ter darkness began to dairn the land. Turning to the north. which she had kept her back to all that t:irne.
she headed off in search of shelter frorn the i~ blackness of night:. Untn she turned. the north had gone
unnot:iced.
On the northern horizon. already indistinguishable in the gloorn
.
the dark hulk of a far-off rnountain
loorned up into the twmght:. blotting out: the stars. But: it was not as far-off as she thought:.
The
next rnorning erupted in a burst of color. Gone were the creeping black shadows of the night
before. The bright prairie glowed with life.
The
strearn s surface glittered like diarnonds. the soft: ripples
playing with the light.
The
new sun srnned warmly in the east. and a few peaceful douds drifted calrnly
by.
ghe viewed her new wonderland with the jubnant curiosity of a chfld. t:ven the grove of trees looked
gentler. No longer were the trees slippery rninisters of darkness.
but:
proud sentinels watching over the
peaceful land.
The
landscape soothed her. ghe had never expect:ed it to be this beaut:iful.
Without realizing it. she had been keeping her back to the north. ghe saw only the beaut:y of the land.
ghe did not see the rnountain. scm black against the sky: the only darkness in the bright new rnorning.
Neither did she not:ice the shadow hanging over the northern fork of the strearn
.
ghe worked hard through the day. using deadwood and anyt:hing else she could find in the grove to bufld
a shelter in a protect:ed spot not far frorn the north fork
.
ghe stopped to quench her thirst before goir-ig
out to forage. ghe found a couple of berry
bushes
and sorne other edible plants in and around the grove.
and contentedly harvested her breakfast.
guddenly she noticed the total snence. gtrange that there were no anirnals here. Not even a squirrel or
bird. There wasn t so rnuch as a cricket to break the snence
.
ghe fought off a chm and started to gather
food to score in her shelter
.
ghe stayed busy all day. ghe didn t even notice the racing shadows and deep red glow of sunset:. As
twnight crept over the land. she crawled into her shelter. happfly tired after all her work.
gi.e
accepted
the cold. biting wind as a nuance of the land. and ignored it as all people ignore the cornrnrnonplace.
The
strearn whispered quietly as it passed her on its way north.
The
scars gliHered softly in the blackness above. seerning rnore distant than t ~
were the night
before.
23
And t:he mount:ain loomed do;er.
. .
.
gt-ie
wa£ up wit:h t:he £un. welcoming t:he new morning wit:h a £mTTe.
gt-ie
at:e breakfa£t: and t:ook a long
drink of cool wat:er from t:he £t:ream. l--le£it:at:ing for a moment:. £he £tripped off her dot:he£ and depped
int:o t:he cool wat:er. 1--ler nort:h fork £eemed t:o move a lit:t:le fa£t:er t:han t:he we£t: end.
but:
£he didn t: mind
it:.
gt-ie
lowered her£elf int:o t:he wat:er unt:TT even her head wa£ t:ot:all'd immer£ed.
Afterward£, £he latJ on t:he £Oft: gra££, ba£king in t:he £un. ghe had never enjOtJed life a£ much a£ £he did
now, had never loved living a£ now. ghe hoped it: would never end.
The d~ £eemed t:o pa££ in t:he blink of an
~
gt,e
wondered how it: had gone £0 fa£t: a£ £he wat:ched
t:he red £un £Ii p below t:he horizon. The land wa£ bat:hed in glidening redne££. gr,e wat:ched a£ t:he
£tret:ching £hadow of t:he grove daimed her gho;t:l'd image. and repre££ed a £hiver a£ t:he cold wind bit:
t:hrough t:o her £OU!.
gt-ie
folded her artn£ aero;£ her che£t: in an at:t:empt: t:o £lay warm. and t:urned t:oward her £heller. Wit:h
a loud howl. t:he wind £trengt:hened and t:ore down t:he ricket:y £hack.
gt,e
£tared at: t:he £hadOWlJ remain£.
and £hivered violent:llJ-
The wind howled louder. and her fear grew wit:h each fre£h howl. ghe glanced up at: t:he £tar£. a£ if t:o
a£k for help.
but:
t:he di£t:ant: £tar£ receded even more. The mount:ain hulk loomed do;er.
gt-ie
do;ed her
eye£
and huddled again£t: t:he cold wind. Wit:h her
eye£
do;ed, £he could not: £ee t:he
dark mount:ain grow larger a£ it: neared. ghe could not: £ee t:he blackne££ blot: out: every di£t:ant: £tar.
gt-ie
felt: her£elf being lift:ed. ghe bit: her lip t:o £tifle a £cream. and a rivulet: of blood £10wllJ began t:o
t:rickle from bet:ween her denched t:eet:h. ghe reached a t:ent:at:ive hand downward. afraid t:o open her
eye£,
and felt: an immen£e palm beneat:h her.
gurpri£ed. £he finall'd opened her
eye£.
gt,e
£aw onllJ t:he £hadow£ of night:.
but:
her perception wa£ from
hundred£ of ~rd£ up. The £kid wa£ pit:ch black: not: a £tar glimmered in t:he velvet: blanket:.
gt-ie
looked
t:oward£ t:he nort:h in horror. The mount:ain wa£ gone. No. £he t:hought: t:o her£elf. It: £ jU£t becaU£e it: £ £0
dark. It: £ £t:m t:here. You jU£t can t: £ee it:. But: in her heart:. £he knew it: wa£ gone. No. not: gone.
but:
it: had
moved.
gt-ie
again felt: t:he palm beneat:h her.
The wind howled angrTTlcJ aero;£ t:he flat:
land.
ghe realized £he wa£ £iHing. and pulled her knee£ up t:o her
che£t:. wrapping her arm£ around t:hem. ghe £huddered again£t: t:he howling t:orrnent:.
l=rom t:he nort:h came a deep red glow on t:he horizon. !=or a moment:. t:he image of a haunt:ed £un£et:
fla£hed in her mind. In t:he red glare. £he £aw t:he horizon wa£ bare. Again£t: all her hope£. t:he mount:ain had
moved.
Terrified. £he looked down and glanced all around her. 1--ler frantic gaze £et:t:led on t:he grove. Black
£kelet:on£ ro;e high in t:he glare. t:heir out:£t:ret:ched artn£ fringed wit:h leave£. £avagely muminat:ed
blJ
t:he
blood-red glow. Dark £hadow£ flickered around t:he grove. and it:£ heart: wa£ pure black. Black £hadow£
bat:t:led wit:h gli£t:ening redne££ aero;£ t:he flat: prairie.
Wit:h horror. £he remembered t:he pa£t:. ghe remembered what: had brought: her t:o t:hi£ place.
gt-ie
£huddered a£ t:he memory fmed her mind.
l=rom t:he beginning. her life had been a £truggle t:o £urvive. But: £he had given up t:he bat:t:le.
gt-ie
couldn t: £land t:he pain. t:he t:ortnent:. anot:her dalJ- ghe feared and haled life wit:h a pa££ion. and became
ob£e££ed wit:h t:he inevit:able darkne££ at: t:he end of t:he road. ghe haled morning£. feared t:hem even. for
£he knew it: wa£ t:he beginning of anot:her d~ of pain. ghe even haled t:he night:,
,
for what: would follow
night:
but:
morning. and pain?
Three d ~ ago. her fear and hat:red had peaked. ghe could t:olerat:e no more.
gt,e
had come home t:o an
empt:'d hOU£e. picked up a knife wit:h cool~ and dead'd hand. and £hort:l'd £he breat:hed no more.
But: t:hat: wa£ before £he had come t:o t:hi£ paradi£e. t:hi£ heaven. The fir£t: dalJ. £he had been amazed
blJ
t:he beaut:!::!-
gt,e
had expect:ed t:o de£cend after t:he knife: £he had never dreamed t:hat: God would give
her a £econd chance. And in t:hi£ haven. £he learned t:o love life again.
go
whlJ
wa£ t:here not:hing
but:
cold darkne££?
gt,e
looked down at: t:he grove of tree£ once more. Rnall'd £he realized t:hat: t:hi£ wa£ no £econd chance
at: all: her £laid wa£ onl'd t:emporar!::1- The prairie wa£ not: a haven. It: wa£ jU£t one of t:he ma~ £top£ before
her final dark de£t:ination. It: wa£ onl'd t:he fir£t: of her plea£ant: experience£, de£igned t:o make her realize
how jOlJOU£ life Wa£. Onl'd t:hen would £he follow t:he £un on it:£ blood'd de£cent:. It: wa£ meant: t:o be t:ort:ure.
1--ler revelat:ion mU£t: have been correct:. ghe felt: her£elf moving. t:he not:-quit:e-£olid gargantuan hand
£tTTI £upport:ing her. Through t:he darkne££, t:he hand of t:he mount:ain holding her firtnllcJ, £he followed t:he
nort:hern fork t:oward t:he red horizon.
lnt:o t:he unknown.
24
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