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Marist College Literary Arts Society Presents
Landscapes of the Mind
The Mosaic
Volume 1
1994--95 Winter Edition
President, Brian J. Elias
Vice,President, Norine Mudrick
Secretary, Amy Ellenes
Treasurer, Jeanine Bertone
Advisor, Richard Grinnell
Staff
Jason Crandall
Joe Marranca
J.D. Lewis
Bryan Walko
Mike Pappagallo
John Moyer
Biz Muler
Cindy Kehoe
Corri Coulter
Mark Francisco
Debbie Ruiz
Kevin Mewhiney
Michael Stanet
Photography
Lynn M. Russo
Special Thanks
To:
RAW
Interactions
Student Government Association
Entire English Department
"Landscapes of the Mind"
Welcome to the 1994~95 Winter edition of the Literary Arts Society's publication,
The Mosaic.
In this magazine are works that your fellow students would like to
share with us.
I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed compiling it for
you. We, at the Literary Arts Society, would like thank everyone who sent us their
submitions, and hope that you will continue to send your work to us in the future.
This magazine is for you. We need you to continue it. Thank you again for your
support.
Table of Contents
Angel
by Ste\·en Giatnpaolo ........................
.
............................................................................... p. 1
Lost
by Mike Pappagallo ..............................................................................................................
p.
2
Poetry
by
-a
poet at
heart-...
....
...
.
.............
.
.....
....
..
.....
.......
..
.......
.....
..............................
....
...........
p.
2
The Idiot
by
Laura Feret
..................
.
............
..
..
...
......
.
.
.............
...
...............
......
..
.
......................
p.
3
The One
by
Michelle
L.
Griffis .................
.
.......................................
.
............................
..
..........
p. 4
A Man's a Man
by b/v,
......
.
........
.....
...............
............
.....................
....................
.............
........
p. 4
Gazing
by O\\·en Foley ..
.
.....
.
.......................
.
...
.....
...................
..
...........
..
.
....
........................
.
....... p
.
5
An Ode From Afar
by Joseph Ian
Zarzycki ............................................................................ p.
5
Justice
by
O\\·en Foley ..
.
..................................................
.
........................................................... p. 6
from heaven do i now fall
by boomer
......
..
......
..
......
..
.......
...
.................................
.
...............
p. 6
The Jackal Speaks in Riddles
by Joe Marranca .......................
.
............................................
p. 7
Breast Fed Delinquency
by M.M. Catherine
Hunt
..
.
.........
..
.
................................................
p. 7
Torn
by Mike Pappagallo ...
....
...
.
................
......
...
...........
.........
.....
.
....
..
....
......
.
'
.............................
p. 8
The Mushroom
by Joe Marranca ..................
.
..
......................
.....
.....
..............
...
........
..........
....
.
p. 9
Vampire
by
Jef
Freydl.
...............................................................................................................
p.10
Symphony
by John Moyer, Michael Stanet,
J.D. Lewis, Delara
Adams,
Shannon McNamara
,
and
Tom P.
Gallagher.
...
..................................................... p.11
Halls of Stone
by boomer
..........
......
...
.....
.
..
....
...................................
..
..
.
.....
.
........................... p.12
I Enjoy Life For One Reason Only
by Joseph Ian Zarzycki
...............................................
p.12
Star Trek: The Next Generation, a parody (part Ill)
by Bryan M. Walko
.................
..
p
.
13
Angel
The boy
sits,
with
eyes open,
slowly they
open.
To
reveal
h
e
r.
She
stands there.
like
an
Angel
sent by
God
.
Promising Peac
e
and
Healing.
H
e
stands up
lo touch her!
The man awakens.
He then r
ea
lizes
the Angel
a
m
e
mory
of
years
ago
.
Now
there is n
o
thing
but
l
oneliness and
hurl.
The man
closes
his weary
eyes,
lo find the Ang
e
l.
-St
even
Giampaolo
1
Poetry
Poetry is anything
with a meaning,
with a
reason,
with a little rhythm or
a little rhyme
.
It
could be a single word
with a meaning
in itself,
or
just
a thought
that comes to mind.
A thought
,
a mind
,
a word
,
a
rhyme
that's all you really need ...
that and something to write it
down with
.
-a poet at heart-
2
Lost
Lost in
the
shadows.
Lost in the dreams.
Lost in the thoughts,
of what it is
and
what it seems.
Lost in the trenches.
Lost in the streets.
Lost in the alleyways.
Lost in the heal.
The Bless-ed soul hungers.
The Bless-ed soul eats.
But the Blessed Soul too, child,
is lost in tl1e streets.
-Mik
e
Pappagallo
The Idiot
You are an idiot.
You know that
you
are.
You are such an idiot,
The biggest
one
by
far.
Wherever
you
may be,
East, west, north,
or south,
You always find a way
To put
your foot
inside
your mouth.
Tactfulness is something
At which you tend to
scoff;
I highly recommend
you
try it;
You might be better
off.
Don't take this as a threat now,
Be that as it may.
I'm
just so
frustrated
And I don't know what else to say.
I just had to inform
you.
You know, sort
of one
to
one.
I wish I had
good
news.
This certainly isn't
fun.
Gee, are you alright?
Your
cheeks
are awfully red.
I hope that
you've
listened well
And remember what I've said
.
I really
should
be
going
now,
On my merry way.
I hope I haven't
offended you,
Have a very nice day.
-Laura Feret
3
The One
I have never
seen such a man before
With
eyes
that pierce my heart
And a
voice that melts my soul.
Every time
I see him I am lost,
Foerever,
drowning in my tears
For I
know that he can never be mine.
He
walks with a certain sense
of
confidence
Moving
toward grater destinies.
In
daylight, he appears to
me
as though I were
In
a dream.
At
night,
though I do not see him, I can feel
His
presence
wherever he goes.
Not
a day
passes by when I don't think
Of
him.
He
is
mysterious
and beautiful to me
.
Though
I
hold
another's heart in my hand,
I want
to hold his as well.
Mever before have I feltsuch a longing as this.
It wraps
itself around my heart and tugs tightly.
I
am
swept
away with emotions I was
unaware
that I had.
What
is
to become of
me
if this continues?
All I
want
is to talk to him,
Find out
what makes him tick.
What
inspires
him?
What makes him laugh?
What makes him cry?
What
are
his hopes?
What
are
his dreams?
Has
he
ever
been in love before?
4
I want to know what he fears the most.
I want to become a part of his life,
A part
of
his soul.
He makes me wonder.
I am inspired by his courage,
Yet I know nothing about him.
Am
I crazy?
Probably so.
But if I am, and most people will agree,
It is the best feeling I have ever known.
-Michelle L. Griffis
A Man's a Man
white or black it matters not
your flesh is just a frame
there's hate and love and frear my
friends
so no ones left to blame
people judge by shades of skin
that's such a God Damn shame
cause when you reverse the way we
think
inside we're all the same
b/w
GAZING
GAZING THROUGH THE DARKNESS,
THROUGH THE DARKNESS AND MIST,
TRYING
TO
SEE,
BLIT ONLY TO MISS.
GAZING THROUGH
THE BLACKNESS,
THROUGH
THE BLACKNESS AND DISTRESS,
A.LMLESSLY BLUNDERING THROUGH THE WHOLE BITTER MESS.
GAZING
THROUGH THE MADNESS,
THROUGH
DEATH
AND
DISTRUST,
WE
TRY TO
FIND LOVE
,
FOR FIND LOVE WE MUST.
GAZING
THROUGH THE DARKNESS,
THROUGH
THE UGLY AND SPOILED,
SHUNJ\iING
TO TOUCH,
LEST WE BE SOILED.
GAZING
THROUGH
THE
SADNESS,
THROUGH
THE HOMELY AND THE PLAIN,
NOT
STOPPING TO
THINK
OF
ANOTHER
ONE'S PAIN
-OWEN
FOLEY
AN
ODE FROM AFAR
YOUNG AND INNOCENT, I WISH NOT KNOW YOU.
FOR IF WE MET, THOU WOULDN'T SEEM THE SAME.
ELEGANT, YOU SEEM TO ME, THROUGH AND THROUGH.
AND RADIANT IS HOW
I
WISHED YOU'D REMAIN.
IF CHANCE SHOULD MIX OUR PATHS, AND YOU TO ME.
I
MUST DECLINE, FOR LOVE HATH BLESSED THESE WORDS.
YET, STILL, COMPELLED TO SPEAK ON THINE BEAUTY,
AEOLUS CARRIES YOUR VOICE BY WINGS OF BIRD.
YOUR SOFT SPOKEN WAY SEEMS AS LIGHT AS AIR.
MANY RINGS PIERCE, CHASTE AMBER-GOLD SKIN.
ADMIRATION HAS NO BURDEN TO BEAR.
A
WITNESS GETS LOST WHILE DRIFTING WITHIN.
I
HOPE OUR ENCOUNTERS ARE MANY, BUT FAR.
HER BEAUTY COMES FROM THE HEAVENS, LIKE STARS.
-JOSEPH IAN ZARZYCKI
5
Justice
They smirk.
They grin
They make fun of him.
Try as he might,
he must pay them their heed.
I'll
watch them bleed.
They laugh.
They tease
.
They joke.
I'll
watch their lives go up in smoke.
They poke and prod.
They beat.
They
yell.
They try to make him cry.
I'll
watch them die.
They cause him pain.
They play games with his brain.
He's going insane.
They do these things until he cowers.
Upon their graves, I will put fresh flowers.
-Owen Foley
from heaven do
i
now fall
she
moves with a
grace
undefined
her body i want,
yet
am always
denied
the
heat
she
gives
is quite intense
in her
eyes,
her lips, her legs, her breasts
i am hers, body and soul
it is
for
her, from heaven do i know
fall
-boomer
The Jackal Speaks in Riddles
I laugh at the sun, and wind, and fire,
and at the jarring carcass that I eat.
I live amidst a forest kissed with briar;
the stench of rotting mushrooms stains my feet.
I'm often lost, but find myself at home
if
anywhere this Earth will let me roam;
and though I lack refinement, none here care,
for I am simple, mere, and unaware.
The natives who traverse here worship me--
they see me as an oracle. They seem
to come, and go, and go, and come to pray--
Ironically, their words are false and foul.
"The Jackal speaks in riddles", they all say;
I laugh, for all I really do is howl.
-Joe Marranca
Breast Fed Delinquency
Breasts
dry of milk
still swell with angry pain
one crusted nipple splitting,
dribbling with blood
staining the lips
of the aborted young
.
--My
son
too young for teeth so sharp
you bite me
and I slap you
even though you only hunger
and starve
because of me.
-M.M.
Catherine Hunt
7
8
Torn
I'm being torn
Like a page from a book
Being torn
I try to hold on but I can't
I grip and grasp
But I just slip, and my hands fail to tighten on the bedpost
I am sue ked in
And as I look out
I see the mute organ player
Swaying by his instrument
Feeling his movements
And laughing at me
And his eyes are burying me with lies
Lies heaped upon misfortunes
And so I weep
And still I get torn
I fall further still
Past the levels of freedom
Past the lives of others
And most hardly notice as I slip by
They refuse to look at me
But some stare me down, and mock me along my way
Others wave me by, uncaring and unhelping
And I get torn from view
Moving on, I can see the locker doors being slammed in
my
face
I see the wash clothes being rinsed of my impurities
I see the society being flossed of my existence
And I am torn
From their world
From the silhouetted bodies that move forth from the empty
Uncurtained windows
And I slide by
The walls are oiled
And I can't catch hold
I flail out
But I can only rupture the sheetrocked walls
And I slip further
And I hear the ringing in my head
And the pounding of my heart. and I know
I will slide forever
I know I will
Because I no longer care
J
Because I no longer see reason to fight it
It
has hardened and numbed me
And now ... I have become emotionless
Torn from the past and heading for the unreachable future
-Mike
Pappagallo
The Mushroom
I sprout amidst the cool and moistened leaves.
Stagnation in the forest coaxes me
to grow, and every rain the ground receives
feeds me; I bloom--a wart, and, choking, free.
Not lost, I swell in silence, unless found.
I puff in furmentation on the ground
.
Inept to call this Earth my home, I lie,
unpicked for salad, recipe, or high
.
Lately every spore I spread is latent,
awaiting rain to act as a stimulant;
"Fly", and "go", amd "go", and "fly away!"
I will remain, and shrivel as I grey
(where) even the Logger likes to watch me rot.
-Joe Marranca
9
VAMPIRE
You KNOW EXACTLY
WHO
I
AM
You TRY TO FORGET
LIKE YOU CAN
You SEE ME AT NIGHT
IN YOUR DREAMS
THERE I HEAR THE SWEET MUSIC
THAT IS YOUR SCREAMS
l'M OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW
l'VE ALWAYS BEEN
LOOK INTO MY EYES
WON
1
T YOU LET ME IN
COME WITH ME
IT WILL ONLY HURT A BIT
LEAVE BEHIND THIS LIFE
AND ALL OF IT'S SHIT
I'LL TAKE YOU PLACES
NO MAN HAS BEEN
AND SHOW YOU THINGS
NO MAN HAS SEEN
THE LAW OF LIFE
You WON'T NEED TO HEED IT
JUST GIVE ME YOUR SOUL
You SURE DON'T NEED IT
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You CAN'T DENY ME
I'M MORE POWERFUL
THAN MAN WILL EVER BE
AHH ... COUNTLESS LIVES
I'VE BEEN THROUGH
I'M ETERNAL
I'LL OVERCOME YOU
A
BLACK HOLE IS NOT
AS DARK AS MY SOUL
NOR THE LEGENDS YOU'VE HEARD
NEARLY AS OLD
10
THE LIFE THAT FLOWS WITHIN YOU
IS WHAT SUPPORTS ME
FEAR ITSELF CAN'T DESCRIBE
How SCARED YOU SHOULD BE
IF YOU DO NOT GIVE IN
I WILL HUNT AND OVERCOME YOU
You WON'T ESCAPE
THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO
I WILL CATCH YOU
LIKE THE FARMER AND THE HEN
AND I'LL SINK MY TEETH INTO YOU
THROUGH YOUR SWEET SKIN
I LAUGH AT YOUR PATHETIC
STRUGGLE AGAINST ME
AS IF YOU EVER HAD A CHANCE
To BE FREE
I
WILL DRINK YOUR ESSENCE
AND THEN YOU'LL FEEL WELL
RECHARGED WITH POWERS AND
AN
ESSENCE FROM HELL
I'M EVERYWHERE
IN EVERYONE
THE PAIN WILL LAST A MINUTE
AND
THEN WILL BE DONE
... JUST A TASTE
... JUST A BITE
AND
YOU, TOO, WILL BECOME
PART OF THE NIGHT
TRUE, I'M DAMNED AND
You WILL BE TOO
NATURE WILL ALWAYS BE
MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU
AHH
...
THE SWEET
,
LIQUID
THE BEAUTIFUL RED
COME JOIN THE STRUGGLE
OF THE UNDEAD
HA, HA, HA, HA. ..
-JEF FREYDL
_
_J
Symphony
"CANTO
I"
ACROSS THE BLIGHTED PAVEMENT,
BLOOD IS DRIPPING ON THE FLOOR,
REPLACING TEARS I CRY NO MORE,
H
E
WALKED THE STREETS FOREVER,
ALONG THE STONY PATHS AND ROCKY
HILLS
,
I KNOW NOT WHERE
.
I SEEK SANCTION,
BUT THE TRUTH FAILS ME,
IT HAUNTS ME FOREVER MORE.
I AM A FAILURE.
MY CRIME IS PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE
.
DID YOU CLOSE THE GARAGE DOOR?
DON
'
T TOUCH IT YOU WORTHLESS
WHORE.
''Book II"
A
cc
u
s
in
g
e
yes,
s
t
a
r
e
at m
e
fr
o
m all around,
th
e
squ
a
r
e
.
In th
e
park, visages of
s
t
a
tu
es
l
o
ok
dmvn up
o
n m
e
in jud
g
ement.
I lo
o
k for H
o
p
e
, I l
oo
k for r
e
qui
e
m
.
Ea
r
s
clo
se
d to noi
ses
makin
g,
so
ul
s
l
a
id
o
ut for th
e
t
a
king,
sac
r
e
d in
s
le
e
p,
a
nd th
e
w
a
king,
T
h
e
m
a
n
g
lowin
g
b
ea
utiful w
e
ar
s
his fury as a cape.
Whil
e
w
e
l
oo
k
e
d
p
ast yesterday
,
t
o
morrow wa
s
past
..
.
Do
n'
t
to
u
c
h th
e
garage door,
D
o
n't t
o
uch it, you w
o
rthl
ess
whor
e.
'Verse Ill"
Man l
oo
ked at the
w
atch,
and h
e
s
at
s
till.
Smiles fade as sadness hits,
lost in deep dark dragging bliss,
death approaches with windows kiss
.
Sh
a
dows Fall, deranged stalking.
0
useless one!
Fe
e
l it!
Deal it.
The man fled acros
s
the tainted lands.
He kno
ws
you touched the garage door.
Don't touch it, you worthless whore
.
0
psalrn
IV"
st:aRio9 iot:o t:he aut:arno rnoRotn9
rnfst:✓
f see t:he nespafR o_,:: _,::ut:rme
tot:eRt:wtnfn9 wtt:h ...
t:he .,:aniog .,:oruoRn necczy o.J= t:he post:.
LarnBs c~tng tn pe~
heat:✓
c~fog e,yes o.J= _,::ut:CJRe rneut..,
WORns
ut:t:eu_en✓
t:oo son t:o Repeat:.
rnoRphfne✓
conetne,. ca.J=.J=efne
he pormen ft: .J=oRt:h as f.J=,.
he want:en ft: all.
he rvas a.,: t:he Lann o.J= oln,.
t:bRfce-BoRD ann t:wfce
oLn✓
ntn
f
t:oCJCh t:he
gau.age nooRi
non't: t:oacb ft:,. ,yoa WORt:bless a.,boRe.
"Chapter
V"
M
y
madne
ss
knows no bounds
,
Among his world
,
where no one's r
e
ached
,
touch
e
d by evil
e
v
e
r still
.
Feel it burning on th
e
blue s
e
at...
Stem ri
s
ing horrid tempest...
Ravens on night wings flapping
,
Hungry e
ye
s searching for humanity .
..
E
ndl
e
ssly
s
winging in dead heat.
He thinks
,
Did you touch the Garage door
?
Don't touch it
,
y
ou worthless whore.
1 1
"Telos"
He glances up, clenching his fist...
He is endlessly patient,
or perchance gone .. .
Halls of Stone
It
is open .. .lt is open .. .
Old and Wise, Young and Venerable ...
Smile
...
I once thought love did truly exist,
but in search, I now desist.
It
is open .. .It is open
...
My faith has faltered, I have no hope,
only now do I realize how I must cope.
The bitter season has begun ...
This
life,
for me, is to be spent alone,
to stay forever in these halls of stone.
I forgot to touch the garage door,
I left it unlocked
and my stash was stolen.
I am a worthless whore.
I forgot to lock the fucking garage door.
-John
Moyer, Micheal Stanet,
J.D. Lewis, Delara Adams, Shannon McNamara,
and Tom P. Gallagher
I ENJOY LIFE FOR ONLY ONE REASON ONLY
WE LIVE IN A MISERABLE AND FOUL PLACE.
CORRUPTED BY MONEY AND FILLED WITH HATE.
YET ONE LIGHT SHINES, THANKS TO DIVINE GRACE.
A
GIFT
TO
ME, FROM
Goo,
UNQUESTIONED FATE.
ONE SINGLE LIGHT, SURROUNDED BY MISERY.
I ENJOY LIFE FOR ONE REASON ONLY,
A
BEAUTIFUL LADY, WHOSE CALLED COURTNEY.
-boomer
EVEN THROUGH THICKEST THINGS, SHE SUPPORTS ME.
12
I FIND MYSELF STARRING, ALTHOUGH SHE IS MINE.
SHE MAKES LIFE PERFECT, AND LEAVES NO DOUBTS.
I'VE FELT HER IN MY ARMS, THOUSANDS OF TIMES.
LADY BRILLIANCE, I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT.
I LONG FOR THE ETERNAL REST WITH THEE.
SO YOU CAN BE LINKED FOREVER WITH ME.
-JOSEPH IAN ZARZYCKI
Star Trek:
The Next Generation
"Hampster Dreams and Stranger Things ...
"
Part Ill
A parody by Bryan M. Walko
Orignal Star Trek concept by Gene Roddenberry
[On the bridge, Picard is
watching
the Spam ship chasing and gaining on the Enterprise. Riker is sitting
in his chair and
Worf
is standing at
his
station. Two ensigns are manning the helm controls. The first
ensign
is
an elderly, black, overweight, blind, deaf,
lesbian woman,
with Down
1
s Syndrome, in a
wheelchair
.
She is clearly here, sent by the Starfleet Department of Public Relations, to appea
s
e
every minority viewer simultaneously. The other ensign
,
a male alien
,
is very noticeably inhuman.
This is because he has a
lump
of modeling clay, embedded in his forehead, in the shape of their local
god, Franklin, The
Almighty
Cockroach
.
His name
is Kyl Urselv from the planet Sewas'lde. He is
here to piss of the United States Senate
Ethics
Committee, of which the mere title of the committee
is an oxymoron, since very few Senators
have
ethics and, this far in the future, most come from Japan
or the infamous Texas Perot clan. Go figure.]
Riker:
Picard:
Captain, if
the
Spam ship gets close enough, it might start firing again.
Ensign,
bring us to
Warp
9
.
I.
[Nothing happens
.
Picard realizes that the blind, deaf (etc.) woman is manning, or womanning, that
control.]
Riker:
Picard:
[Yelling
at the blind, deaf (etc.)
woman womanning
the controls]
WARP NINE
POINT ONEt
W-A-R-P N-1-N-E
P-1 ... P-O-N ... POINT
W-O-N!
[Moving
to the helm control, saying to himself]
Warp
9
.
I
.
[Meanwhile, in
the
engine
room,
Tippy
has
been
running
for 65 minutes and is only at
Ma
c
h 2.5.
Suddenly, a small woman, sporting an uncanny likeness to Shirley
Maclaine,
wanders in. By an
o
ther
coincidence, her name
is
Shirley
Maclaine.
She
is wearing
a uniform at
least
7 sizes too large. The
uniform arms run about
7
inches passed
her
closed fists. Her shoes are not
visible
.
Geordie and
Data are working on the wall consoles and
she
moves silently to the cage.]
13
Shirley:
Geordie:
[Quickly
opens the top of the hamster cage and grabs
Tippy
.]
ANIMAL
RIGHTS!
LIBERATE
THE ANIMAL SLAVES!FREE TIPPY!
FRICASSEE
THE EVIL HUMAN
SLAVE
MASTERS!
[Not
able to ignore the racket] Stop! [Calmly]
Ok,
put down the hamster.
[Unfortunately, neither Geordie nor Data knew that the Animal Liberation Front was just a
cover
for
a weird group of people who liked eating hamsters.]
[Shirley turns around, face
out of
view, and lifts her hand
to
her face. After a second, there is
an
explosion of
blood.]
Geordie:
Shirley:
Geordie:
Data:
Worf:
Geordie:
T
i
ppy!
[Turning to
face
Geordie, she is holding the decapitated, and slightly dead, body of
Admiral Tippy and her mouth covered in hamster blood] TIPPY IS FREE!
No he's not, you ate his head off you stupid bitch! Last time I pondered the
concept
of freedom, it
involved
retaining most parts of my body.
[Tapping his insignia] Security to engine
room.
[Over intercom] Acknowledged.
[Tapping insignia] Worf, there is a hostile
confrontation,
you might
get
to kill
someone.
[M
ere
seconds later, Worf beams directly to the engine room.]
Worf:
Shirley:
Worf:
Data:
Worf:
Data:
Worf:
14
[Waving phaser at Shirley] Breathe and you DIE!
Ack!
[Falls
on the ground, wiggles convulsively, and dies.]
[Slapping his insignia]
Medical
team
to engine room.
She appears to have died from an overdose of narcotics.
She's dead?
Yes.
[Very
irritated] Damn!
I
still haven't been able to kill ANYONE today!
[Close-up of the Warp engines as they do nothing. External shot of the Enterprise as it sits dead in
space. Luckily, the Spam ship does not anticipate the sudden stop, and it speeds past the
Enterprise at Warp 9 .49]
Geordie:
Worf:
[Using his chest insignia] Captain, Tippy's dead.
I
WANTED TO KILL THE HAMSTER!
Picard: [Over intercom] Worf! Forget about the hamster! We have more pressing
Worf:
Picard:
[SCENE
8]
problems. Mer this, you can kill Commodore Blurstfunq, the Mystical Lunar
Badger.
BADGERS? I don't need no stinking badgers!
[Over intercom, quite happily] Conference!
[The door opens to the conference room, Geordie, Data and Worf are the last members to enter.
Worf is fanatically grasping his phaser
.
]
Picard:
As
you know, we are once again in need of a new power source. The Spam ship will
be in range in
15
minutes. What we need is a miracle!
[Suddenly, and very well on-cue, a figure materializes behind Captain Picard.]
Wesley:
Worf:
Hello! I discovered
20
ways to circumvent the natural laws of physics while I was
brushing my teeth this morning! I have a solution to your problem that,
unfortunately, requires my last Hostess "Ding-Dong."
SIR!! WATCH
OUT!!
[The Captain leaps out of the way, just in time. Worf fires his phaser,
set
at "Maximum
Carnage,"
and vaporizes Wesley.]
Riker:
Picard:
Crusher:
·
Worf:
Cool!
Can we see that again?
(On the ground] Worf! You killed Wesley!
You Klingon bastard! You killed my son!
[Trying to
calm
himself and everybody else] It was a slight accident. Sorry.
15
Crusher:
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
Crusher:
Geordie:
Riker:
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
Riker:
Data:
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
16
[Wailing] I'll never see my son again!
[Getting up] And Wesley was our key out of here. He probably could have fixed the
replicator to make more beernuts.
[To
Crusher] Dr. Crusher, before Wesley was disintegrated, two hairs fell from his
head. We might be able to reconstruct him using modern cloning techniques.
That's silly. We
~
could get in trouble for that.
[Sniffling] Well, we could try ...
[frying to command some attention
J
We have to find another way to generate
power!
We could create 70,000 tea kettles, boil water and run the Enterprise on steam.
[To
Riker, directly to his left] Don't be absurd. [f
urning to Data, one seat past Riker]
Data?
Since all the other hamsters in Starfleet are assigned to Military Strategy positions, no
others are on board the Enterprise. My cat could be useful.
Your cat? I can't wait to hear this one.
We can plug the engines into a wall socket!
[Ignoring Riker] You may be familiar with static electricity. If you take a cylindrical
rubber rod and stroke a cat's fur, an electric
charge
can be produced.
Yes, but will this be sufficient to power the Enterprise and do we have the resources?
I believe you have a large collection of rubber rods in your quarters ...
[Frustrated] Data, Data
.
.. How can a cat supply enough energy?
If the cat. .. [pauses to calculate]. .. was roughly 12 times the size of a human, we would
have adequate power for Warp 9.
I suppose it wouldn't help to politely suggest that ... CATS DON'T GROW TO 60
FEET LONG!!!
Crusher:
Captain, with an extra-large dose of steroids, Spot could increase in size to 35 meters
in the next ten minutes.
Picard:
[SCENE 9]
[Confused] Damn. There is no Shakespearian reference giant cats. No matter,
·
hopefully,
I'll
find one by the end of the episode. [To the group] Make it so.
[Inside the engine room, Spot is sitting down. They have removed the Warp console table to give
the cat room. The cat's head is normal size
.
However, the body is over 80 feet long. It's
biceps are 24 feet around. It looks like a big, furry lump, mostly because it is a big, furry lump. It has
an alligator clip rather painfully attached to its tail.]
Spot:
[Sounding like James Earl Jones] MEOW!
[Geordie and Data are both holding 5 foot rubber rods, apparently not from Captain Picard
'
s pr
i
vate
collection
.
They look at each other, Geordie nods. The take the rods and start rubbing them on the
cat's fur. Straightaway, the Warp engine begins to become animated.]
Picard:
Geordie:
[Over intercom] Mr
.
La Forge, it's a bit jerky, but we have Warp 2. Well done
.
[Not paying attention, being quite focused on rubbing th_e cat] What was that about
beef jerky?
[Suddenly, the cat, in typical cat thinking, decides it doesn't want to be there. It gets up, ripping the
cord, attached to its tail, from the wall. Spot looks around, grunts, and walks out
of the engine room. The door isn't quite big enough to let it through, but its amazing what a
determined cat on steroids can do.]
Geordie:
[Tapping is insignia] Captain ...
[SCENE 10]
[Bridge. Data is back at his post, replacing the blind, deaf lesbian ensign. Picard is standing up, Riker
is sitting in his comfy chair. Worf is behind Riker, on the ledge. The viewscreen shows the Spam ship
approaching at quite an impressive speed
.
]
Riker:
Picard:
[Glumly] I can't believe that giant cat thought my quarters was a litterbox
.
[Half paying attention] Yes and good job by the cat, too.
[The Spam ship has finally crept up to the unmoving Enterprise.]
17
Picard:
Well, this is it.
Worf:
Sir, the Spam ship is hailing us.
Picard:
On screen.
[The viewscreen fiips to the interior of the Spam ship. Instead of seeing a monotone Spam
crewmember, they see Dianna T roi.]
Picard:
Troi:
Picard:
Troi:
Picard:
Tro
i
:
Picard:
Troi:
Picard:
Riker:
P
i
card:
Riker:
Picard:
Data:
18
Counselor T roi ! What are you doing there?
[From the Spam ship] You shot me here. By the way, your torpedo tubes are clean.
But how did you manage to survive the Spam warriors?
[From the Spam ship] Well when I was first on the ship, I defended myself by biting
one on the leg. After that it was simple.
What did you do?
[From the Spam ship] The entire Spam ship is run by a single entity, in essence, one
mind, right?
Yes ...
[From the Spam ship] And I am a psychologist. So I used my psychological
background to convince the Spam that it was actually not a giant spacefaring race,
but a small sausage factory outside of Frankfurt.
Good job ... Still, it will figure out that it isn't a sausage factory. We need a way to
destroy it.
[Finally noticing the Matter/Antimatter device that was beamed over much earlier]
What a nice bomb!
[Actually taking heed of something emanating from Riker] What?!
[Holding it up proudly
J
This is such a pretty bomb!
[Quickly turning] Data! What is it?
I do not understand the word "it."
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
Data
:
[Completely unfazed] All right, what type of bomb is that?
[Pausing to analyze] It is a Romulan Matter/Antimatter bomb.
How much time left?
Exactly six minutes, thirty-four seconds.
Picard:
[Talking into the air] Chief O'Brien! Lock onto the bomb on the bridge and beam it
over to the Spam ship!
O'Brien:
[Over intercom] Yes sir!
[Riker disappears from the bridge and beams over to the Spam ship, appearing on the viewscreen
next to Troi.]
Picard:
I said the BOMB!
O'Brien:
[Over intercom] Oh ... I thought you said bum. [Pauses] Captain, there isn't a bomb
on the bridge.
Riker:
Picard:
Troi:
Picard:
Troi:
[From the Spam ship] I have the bomb sir!
Good ... Data, get us out of here!
[Hrrumphing from the Spam ship] Hrrumph.
Captain,
aren't you forgetting
something?
[Calming himself] Yes. Goodbye. Your service to Starfleet was commendable.
[Tapping insignia] Enterprise, two to beam back. [Stands by Riker, slaps his hands]
Leave the bomb here Will.
[T roi and Riker beam out of the Spam ship.]
Picard:
[Insistently] Get us out of here, NOW
!
[The Enterprise veers away, under the power of the 70,000 teapots running the Enterprise
on
steam
-
power. The Enterprise zooms out of view. A few minutes later, the Spam ship
explodes.
There was no sound, however, because no one was there to hear it.]
[SCENE 11]
19
[Picard is talking to Beverly Crusher in his ready room.]
Picard:
Crusher:
Picard
:
Crusher:
Picard:
I am sorry about the loss of your son.
Under the cloning technique, I cloned the cells from his hair. I managed to grow
something, but it was just more hair.
There was nothing you could do?
Actually, this process is a very cheap source of hair. I'm going to become a millionaire
selling Wesleyhair coats and wigs.
It's a shame you couldn't bring him back.
[Suddenly
,
there is a flash of light]
Q:
Pic
a
rd:
Q:
Picard:
Q
:
We
s
ley:
Picard:
[Dressed in the Starfieet admiral uniform] Greetings Picard!
Q!
What do you want?
Since I enjoy using my powers to annoy you, I decided to do the unthinkable to you.
What is that?
[Snaps his finger, there is a flash of light next to Picard.] Why bring back Wesley, of
course!
Hi sir!
[Subverting his anger] Oh, on the contrary..
.
[Trying to keep up the act] this is a
great favor ... [Straining] OH DAMN! [Slumps over on the desk, crying
.
]
[External shot of the Enterprise speeding through space to a repair dock.]
[Caption: ALL NEW EPISODE]
[Shot of the Enterprise.]
Preview:
Next time, on an all new episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation ...
[Shot of malicious looking furry mammal, squeaking.]
Preview:
Dangerous ferrets stalk the crewmembers of the Enterprise ...
20
[Shot of a
computer
control panel]
Preview
:
A mysterious alien intelligence infiltrates the Enterprise's computer core and
continuously plays Bob Dylan's "Rolling Stone" for three days straight.
.
.
[Shot of Worf on sickbay table]
Preview:
Worf must deal with a lima bean he has accidentally stuffed up his nose
...
[Shot of Wesley, strumming a musical instrument.]
Preview:
Wesley is too busy learning the banjo to save the ship
...
[Shot of Riker's face.]
Preview:
And Commander Riker must decide between the lives of his crew
..
.
[Panning shot of the bridge
,
with all the crewmembers present.]
Preview
:
And a bag of Tootsie Rolls!
[Shot of a bag of Tootsie Rolls.]
Preview:
Next week, on Star Trek!
[Closing music]
21
j
l
I•
Mosaic_W_1994_001
Mosaic_W_1994_002
Mosaic_W_1994_003
Mosaic_W_1994_004
Mosaic_W_1994_005
Mosaic_W_1994_006
Mosaic_W_1994_007
Mosaic_W_1994_008
Mosaic_W_1994_009
Mosaic_W_1994_010
Mosaic_W_1994_011
Mosaic_W_1994_012
Mosaic_W_1994_013
Mosaic_W_1994_014
Mosaic_W_1994_015
Mosaic_W_1994_016
Mosaic_W_1994_017
Mosaic_W_1994_018
Mosaic_W_1994_019
Mosaic_W_1994_020
Mosaic_W_1994_021
Mosaic_W_1994_022
Mosaic_W_1994_023
Mosaic_W_1994_024
Mosaic_W_1994_025
Mosaic_W_1994_026
Mosaic_W_1994_027
Mosaic_W_1994_028
Landscapes of the Mind
The Mosaic
Volume 1
1994--95 Winter Edition
President, Brian J. Elias
Vice,President, Norine Mudrick
Secretary, Amy Ellenes
Treasurer, Jeanine Bertone
Advisor, Richard Grinnell
Staff
Jason Crandall
Joe Marranca
J.D. Lewis
Bryan Walko
Mike Pappagallo
John Moyer
Biz Muler
Cindy Kehoe
Corri Coulter
Mark Francisco
Debbie Ruiz
Kevin Mewhiney
Michael Stanet
Photography
Lynn M. Russo
Special Thanks
To:
RAW
Interactions
Student Government Association
Entire English Department
"Landscapes of the Mind"
Welcome to the 1994~95 Winter edition of the Literary Arts Society's publication,
The Mosaic.
In this magazine are works that your fellow students would like to
share with us.
I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed compiling it for
you. We, at the Literary Arts Society, would like thank everyone who sent us their
submitions, and hope that you will continue to send your work to us in the future.
This magazine is for you. We need you to continue it. Thank you again for your
support.
Table of Contents
Angel
by Ste\·en Giatnpaolo ........................
.
............................................................................... p. 1
Lost
by Mike Pappagallo ..............................................................................................................
p.
2
Poetry
by
-a
poet at
heart-...
....
...
.
.............
.
.....
....
..
.....
.......
..
.......
.....
..............................
....
...........
p.
2
The Idiot
by
Laura Feret
..................
.
............
..
..
...
......
.
.
.............
...
...............
......
..
.
......................
p.
3
The One
by
Michelle
L.
Griffis .................
.
.......................................
.
............................
..
..........
p. 4
A Man's a Man
by b/v,
......
.
........
.....
...............
............
.....................
....................
.............
........
p. 4
Gazing
by O\\·en Foley ..
.
.....
.
.......................
.
...
.....
...................
..
...........
..
.
....
........................
.
....... p
.
5
An Ode From Afar
by Joseph Ian
Zarzycki ............................................................................ p.
5
Justice
by
O\\·en Foley ..
.
..................................................
.
........................................................... p. 6
from heaven do i now fall
by boomer
......
..
......
..
......
..
.......
...
.................................
.
...............
p. 6
The Jackal Speaks in Riddles
by Joe Marranca .......................
.
............................................
p. 7
Breast Fed Delinquency
by M.M. Catherine
Hunt
..
.
.........
..
.
................................................
p. 7
Torn
by Mike Pappagallo ...
....
...
.
................
......
...
...........
.........
.....
.
....
..
....
......
.
'
.............................
p. 8
The Mushroom
by Joe Marranca ..................
.
..
......................
.....
.....
..............
...
........
..........
....
.
p. 9
Vampire
by
Jef
Freydl.
...............................................................................................................
p.10
Symphony
by John Moyer, Michael Stanet,
J.D. Lewis, Delara
Adams,
Shannon McNamara
,
and
Tom P.
Gallagher.
...
..................................................... p.11
Halls of Stone
by boomer
..........
......
...
.....
.
..
....
...................................
..
..
.
.....
.
........................... p.12
I Enjoy Life For One Reason Only
by Joseph Ian Zarzycki
...............................................
p.12
Star Trek: The Next Generation, a parody (part Ill)
by Bryan M. Walko
.................
..
p
.
13
Angel
The boy
sits,
with
eyes open,
slowly they
open.
To
reveal
h
e
r.
She
stands there.
like
an
Angel
sent by
God
.
Promising Peac
e
and
Healing.
H
e
stands up
lo touch her!
The man awakens.
He then r
ea
lizes
the Angel
a
m
e
mory
of
years
ago
.
Now
there is n
o
thing
but
l
oneliness and
hurl.
The man
closes
his weary
eyes,
lo find the Ang
e
l.
-St
even
Giampaolo
1
Poetry
Poetry is anything
with a meaning,
with a
reason,
with a little rhythm or
a little rhyme
.
It
could be a single word
with a meaning
in itself,
or
just
a thought
that comes to mind.
A thought
,
a mind
,
a word
,
a
rhyme
that's all you really need ...
that and something to write it
down with
.
-a poet at heart-
2
Lost
Lost in
the
shadows.
Lost in the dreams.
Lost in the thoughts,
of what it is
and
what it seems.
Lost in the trenches.
Lost in the streets.
Lost in the alleyways.
Lost in the heal.
The Bless-ed soul hungers.
The Bless-ed soul eats.
But the Blessed Soul too, child,
is lost in tl1e streets.
-Mik
e
Pappagallo
The Idiot
You are an idiot.
You know that
you
are.
You are such an idiot,
The biggest
one
by
far.
Wherever
you
may be,
East, west, north,
or south,
You always find a way
To put
your foot
inside
your mouth.
Tactfulness is something
At which you tend to
scoff;
I highly recommend
you
try it;
You might be better
off.
Don't take this as a threat now,
Be that as it may.
I'm
just so
frustrated
And I don't know what else to say.
I just had to inform
you.
You know, sort
of one
to
one.
I wish I had
good
news.
This certainly isn't
fun.
Gee, are you alright?
Your
cheeks
are awfully red.
I hope that
you've
listened well
And remember what I've said
.
I really
should
be
going
now,
On my merry way.
I hope I haven't
offended you,
Have a very nice day.
-Laura Feret
3
The One
I have never
seen such a man before
With
eyes
that pierce my heart
And a
voice that melts my soul.
Every time
I see him I am lost,
Foerever,
drowning in my tears
For I
know that he can never be mine.
He
walks with a certain sense
of
confidence
Moving
toward grater destinies.
In
daylight, he appears to
me
as though I were
In
a dream.
At
night,
though I do not see him, I can feel
His
presence
wherever he goes.
Not
a day
passes by when I don't think
Of
him.
He
is
mysterious
and beautiful to me
.
Though
I
hold
another's heart in my hand,
I want
to hold his as well.
Mever before have I feltsuch a longing as this.
It wraps
itself around my heart and tugs tightly.
I
am
swept
away with emotions I was
unaware
that I had.
What
is
to become of
me
if this continues?
All I
want
is to talk to him,
Find out
what makes him tick.
What
inspires
him?
What makes him laugh?
What makes him cry?
What
are
his hopes?
What
are
his dreams?
Has
he
ever
been in love before?
4
I want to know what he fears the most.
I want to become a part of his life,
A part
of
his soul.
He makes me wonder.
I am inspired by his courage,
Yet I know nothing about him.
Am
I crazy?
Probably so.
But if I am, and most people will agree,
It is the best feeling I have ever known.
-Michelle L. Griffis
A Man's a Man
white or black it matters not
your flesh is just a frame
there's hate and love and frear my
friends
so no ones left to blame
people judge by shades of skin
that's such a God Damn shame
cause when you reverse the way we
think
inside we're all the same
b/w
GAZING
GAZING THROUGH THE DARKNESS,
THROUGH THE DARKNESS AND MIST,
TRYING
TO
SEE,
BLIT ONLY TO MISS.
GAZING THROUGH
THE BLACKNESS,
THROUGH
THE BLACKNESS AND DISTRESS,
A.LMLESSLY BLUNDERING THROUGH THE WHOLE BITTER MESS.
GAZING
THROUGH THE MADNESS,
THROUGH
DEATH
AND
DISTRUST,
WE
TRY TO
FIND LOVE
,
FOR FIND LOVE WE MUST.
GAZING
THROUGH THE DARKNESS,
THROUGH
THE UGLY AND SPOILED,
SHUNJ\iING
TO TOUCH,
LEST WE BE SOILED.
GAZING
THROUGH
THE
SADNESS,
THROUGH
THE HOMELY AND THE PLAIN,
NOT
STOPPING TO
THINK
OF
ANOTHER
ONE'S PAIN
-OWEN
FOLEY
AN
ODE FROM AFAR
YOUNG AND INNOCENT, I WISH NOT KNOW YOU.
FOR IF WE MET, THOU WOULDN'T SEEM THE SAME.
ELEGANT, YOU SEEM TO ME, THROUGH AND THROUGH.
AND RADIANT IS HOW
I
WISHED YOU'D REMAIN.
IF CHANCE SHOULD MIX OUR PATHS, AND YOU TO ME.
I
MUST DECLINE, FOR LOVE HATH BLESSED THESE WORDS.
YET, STILL, COMPELLED TO SPEAK ON THINE BEAUTY,
AEOLUS CARRIES YOUR VOICE BY WINGS OF BIRD.
YOUR SOFT SPOKEN WAY SEEMS AS LIGHT AS AIR.
MANY RINGS PIERCE, CHASTE AMBER-GOLD SKIN.
ADMIRATION HAS NO BURDEN TO BEAR.
A
WITNESS GETS LOST WHILE DRIFTING WITHIN.
I
HOPE OUR ENCOUNTERS ARE MANY, BUT FAR.
HER BEAUTY COMES FROM THE HEAVENS, LIKE STARS.
-JOSEPH IAN ZARZYCKI
5
Justice
They smirk.
They grin
They make fun of him.
Try as he might,
he must pay them their heed.
I'll
watch them bleed.
They laugh.
They tease
.
They joke.
I'll
watch their lives go up in smoke.
They poke and prod.
They beat.
They
yell.
They try to make him cry.
I'll
watch them die.
They cause him pain.
They play games with his brain.
He's going insane.
They do these things until he cowers.
Upon their graves, I will put fresh flowers.
-Owen Foley
from heaven do
i
now fall
she
moves with a
grace
undefined
her body i want,
yet
am always
denied
the
heat
she
gives
is quite intense
in her
eyes,
her lips, her legs, her breasts
i am hers, body and soul
it is
for
her, from heaven do i know
fall
-boomer
The Jackal Speaks in Riddles
I laugh at the sun, and wind, and fire,
and at the jarring carcass that I eat.
I live amidst a forest kissed with briar;
the stench of rotting mushrooms stains my feet.
I'm often lost, but find myself at home
if
anywhere this Earth will let me roam;
and though I lack refinement, none here care,
for I am simple, mere, and unaware.
The natives who traverse here worship me--
they see me as an oracle. They seem
to come, and go, and go, and come to pray--
Ironically, their words are false and foul.
"The Jackal speaks in riddles", they all say;
I laugh, for all I really do is howl.
-Joe Marranca
Breast Fed Delinquency
Breasts
dry of milk
still swell with angry pain
one crusted nipple splitting,
dribbling with blood
staining the lips
of the aborted young
.
--My
son
too young for teeth so sharp
you bite me
and I slap you
even though you only hunger
and starve
because of me.
-M.M.
Catherine Hunt
7
8
Torn
I'm being torn
Like a page from a book
Being torn
I try to hold on but I can't
I grip and grasp
But I just slip, and my hands fail to tighten on the bedpost
I am sue ked in
And as I look out
I see the mute organ player
Swaying by his instrument
Feeling his movements
And laughing at me
And his eyes are burying me with lies
Lies heaped upon misfortunes
And so I weep
And still I get torn
I fall further still
Past the levels of freedom
Past the lives of others
And most hardly notice as I slip by
They refuse to look at me
But some stare me down, and mock me along my way
Others wave me by, uncaring and unhelping
And I get torn from view
Moving on, I can see the locker doors being slammed in
my
face
I see the wash clothes being rinsed of my impurities
I see the society being flossed of my existence
And I am torn
From their world
From the silhouetted bodies that move forth from the empty
Uncurtained windows
And I slide by
The walls are oiled
And I can't catch hold
I flail out
But I can only rupture the sheetrocked walls
And I slip further
And I hear the ringing in my head
And the pounding of my heart. and I know
I will slide forever
I know I will
Because I no longer care
J
Because I no longer see reason to fight it
It
has hardened and numbed me
And now ... I have become emotionless
Torn from the past and heading for the unreachable future
-Mike
Pappagallo
The Mushroom
I sprout amidst the cool and moistened leaves.
Stagnation in the forest coaxes me
to grow, and every rain the ground receives
feeds me; I bloom--a wart, and, choking, free.
Not lost, I swell in silence, unless found.
I puff in furmentation on the ground
.
Inept to call this Earth my home, I lie,
unpicked for salad, recipe, or high
.
Lately every spore I spread is latent,
awaiting rain to act as a stimulant;
"Fly", and "go", amd "go", and "fly away!"
I will remain, and shrivel as I grey
(where) even the Logger likes to watch me rot.
-Joe Marranca
9
VAMPIRE
You KNOW EXACTLY
WHO
I
AM
You TRY TO FORGET
LIKE YOU CAN
You SEE ME AT NIGHT
IN YOUR DREAMS
THERE I HEAR THE SWEET MUSIC
THAT IS YOUR SCREAMS
l'M OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW
l'VE ALWAYS BEEN
LOOK INTO MY EYES
WON
1
T YOU LET ME IN
COME WITH ME
IT WILL ONLY HURT A BIT
LEAVE BEHIND THIS LIFE
AND ALL OF IT'S SHIT
I'LL TAKE YOU PLACES
NO MAN HAS BEEN
AND SHOW YOU THINGS
NO MAN HAS SEEN
THE LAW OF LIFE
You WON'T NEED TO HEED IT
JUST GIVE ME YOUR SOUL
You SURE DON'T NEED IT
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You CAN'T DENY ME
I'M MORE POWERFUL
THAN MAN WILL EVER BE
AHH ... COUNTLESS LIVES
I'VE BEEN THROUGH
I'M ETERNAL
I'LL OVERCOME YOU
A
BLACK HOLE IS NOT
AS DARK AS MY SOUL
NOR THE LEGENDS YOU'VE HEARD
NEARLY AS OLD
10
THE LIFE THAT FLOWS WITHIN YOU
IS WHAT SUPPORTS ME
FEAR ITSELF CAN'T DESCRIBE
How SCARED YOU SHOULD BE
IF YOU DO NOT GIVE IN
I WILL HUNT AND OVERCOME YOU
You WON'T ESCAPE
THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO
I WILL CATCH YOU
LIKE THE FARMER AND THE HEN
AND I'LL SINK MY TEETH INTO YOU
THROUGH YOUR SWEET SKIN
I LAUGH AT YOUR PATHETIC
STRUGGLE AGAINST ME
AS IF YOU EVER HAD A CHANCE
To BE FREE
I
WILL DRINK YOUR ESSENCE
AND THEN YOU'LL FEEL WELL
RECHARGED WITH POWERS AND
AN
ESSENCE FROM HELL
I'M EVERYWHERE
IN EVERYONE
THE PAIN WILL LAST A MINUTE
AND
THEN WILL BE DONE
... JUST A TASTE
... JUST A BITE
AND
YOU, TOO, WILL BECOME
PART OF THE NIGHT
TRUE, I'M DAMNED AND
You WILL BE TOO
NATURE WILL ALWAYS BE
MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU
AHH
...
THE SWEET
,
LIQUID
THE BEAUTIFUL RED
COME JOIN THE STRUGGLE
OF THE UNDEAD
HA, HA, HA, HA. ..
-JEF FREYDL
_
_J
Symphony
"CANTO
I"
ACROSS THE BLIGHTED PAVEMENT,
BLOOD IS DRIPPING ON THE FLOOR,
REPLACING TEARS I CRY NO MORE,
H
E
WALKED THE STREETS FOREVER,
ALONG THE STONY PATHS AND ROCKY
HILLS
,
I KNOW NOT WHERE
.
I SEEK SANCTION,
BUT THE TRUTH FAILS ME,
IT HAUNTS ME FOREVER MORE.
I AM A FAILURE.
MY CRIME IS PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE
.
DID YOU CLOSE THE GARAGE DOOR?
DON
'
T TOUCH IT YOU WORTHLESS
WHORE.
''Book II"
A
cc
u
s
in
g
e
yes,
s
t
a
r
e
at m
e
fr
o
m all around,
th
e
squ
a
r
e
.
In th
e
park, visages of
s
t
a
tu
es
l
o
ok
dmvn up
o
n m
e
in jud
g
ement.
I lo
o
k for H
o
p
e
, I l
oo
k for r
e
qui
e
m
.
Ea
r
s
clo
se
d to noi
ses
makin
g,
so
ul
s
l
a
id
o
ut for th
e
t
a
king,
sac
r
e
d in
s
le
e
p,
a
nd th
e
w
a
king,
T
h
e
m
a
n
g
lowin
g
b
ea
utiful w
e
ar
s
his fury as a cape.
Whil
e
w
e
l
oo
k
e
d
p
ast yesterday
,
t
o
morrow wa
s
past
..
.
Do
n'
t
to
u
c
h th
e
garage door,
D
o
n't t
o
uch it, you w
o
rthl
ess
whor
e.
'Verse Ill"
Man l
oo
ked at the
w
atch,
and h
e
s
at
s
till.
Smiles fade as sadness hits,
lost in deep dark dragging bliss,
death approaches with windows kiss
.
Sh
a
dows Fall, deranged stalking.
0
useless one!
Fe
e
l it!
Deal it.
The man fled acros
s
the tainted lands.
He kno
ws
you touched the garage door.
Don't touch it, you worthless whore
.
0
psalrn
IV"
st:aRio9 iot:o t:he aut:arno rnoRotn9
rnfst:✓
f see t:he nespafR o_,:: _,::ut:rme
tot:eRt:wtnfn9 wtt:h ...
t:he .,:aniog .,:oruoRn necczy o.J= t:he post:.
LarnBs c~tng tn pe~
heat:✓
c~fog e,yes o.J= _,::ut:CJRe rneut..,
WORns
ut:t:eu_en✓
t:oo son t:o Repeat:.
rnoRphfne✓
conetne,. ca.J=.J=efne
he pormen ft: .J=oRt:h as f.J=,.
he want:en ft: all.
he rvas a.,: t:he Lann o.J= oln,.
t:bRfce-BoRD ann t:wfce
oLn✓
ntn
f
t:oCJCh t:he
gau.age nooRi
non't: t:oacb ft:,. ,yoa WORt:bless a.,boRe.
"Chapter
V"
M
y
madne
ss
knows no bounds
,
Among his world
,
where no one's r
e
ached
,
touch
e
d by evil
e
v
e
r still
.
Feel it burning on th
e
blue s
e
at...
Stem ri
s
ing horrid tempest...
Ravens on night wings flapping
,
Hungry e
ye
s searching for humanity .
..
E
ndl
e
ssly
s
winging in dead heat.
He thinks
,
Did you touch the Garage door
?
Don't touch it
,
y
ou worthless whore.
1 1
"Telos"
He glances up, clenching his fist...
He is endlessly patient,
or perchance gone .. .
Halls of Stone
It
is open .. .lt is open .. .
Old and Wise, Young and Venerable ...
Smile
...
I once thought love did truly exist,
but in search, I now desist.
It
is open .. .It is open
...
My faith has faltered, I have no hope,
only now do I realize how I must cope.
The bitter season has begun ...
This
life,
for me, is to be spent alone,
to stay forever in these halls of stone.
I forgot to touch the garage door,
I left it unlocked
and my stash was stolen.
I am a worthless whore.
I forgot to lock the fucking garage door.
-John
Moyer, Micheal Stanet,
J.D. Lewis, Delara Adams, Shannon McNamara,
and Tom P. Gallagher
I ENJOY LIFE FOR ONLY ONE REASON ONLY
WE LIVE IN A MISERABLE AND FOUL PLACE.
CORRUPTED BY MONEY AND FILLED WITH HATE.
YET ONE LIGHT SHINES, THANKS TO DIVINE GRACE.
A
GIFT
TO
ME, FROM
Goo,
UNQUESTIONED FATE.
ONE SINGLE LIGHT, SURROUNDED BY MISERY.
I ENJOY LIFE FOR ONE REASON ONLY,
A
BEAUTIFUL LADY, WHOSE CALLED COURTNEY.
-boomer
EVEN THROUGH THICKEST THINGS, SHE SUPPORTS ME.
12
I FIND MYSELF STARRING, ALTHOUGH SHE IS MINE.
SHE MAKES LIFE PERFECT, AND LEAVES NO DOUBTS.
I'VE FELT HER IN MY ARMS, THOUSANDS OF TIMES.
LADY BRILLIANCE, I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT.
I LONG FOR THE ETERNAL REST WITH THEE.
SO YOU CAN BE LINKED FOREVER WITH ME.
-JOSEPH IAN ZARZYCKI
Star Trek:
The Next Generation
"Hampster Dreams and Stranger Things ...
"
Part Ill
A parody by Bryan M. Walko
Orignal Star Trek concept by Gene Roddenberry
[On the bridge, Picard is
watching
the Spam ship chasing and gaining on the Enterprise. Riker is sitting
in his chair and
Worf
is standing at
his
station. Two ensigns are manning the helm controls. The first
ensign
is
an elderly, black, overweight, blind, deaf,
lesbian woman,
with Down
1
s Syndrome, in a
wheelchair
.
She is clearly here, sent by the Starfleet Department of Public Relations, to appea
s
e
every minority viewer simultaneously. The other ensign
,
a male alien
,
is very noticeably inhuman.
This is because he has a
lump
of modeling clay, embedded in his forehead, in the shape of their local
god, Franklin, The
Almighty
Cockroach
.
His name
is Kyl Urselv from the planet Sewas'lde. He is
here to piss of the United States Senate
Ethics
Committee, of which the mere title of the committee
is an oxymoron, since very few Senators
have
ethics and, this far in the future, most come from Japan
or the infamous Texas Perot clan. Go figure.]
Riker:
Picard:
Captain, if
the
Spam ship gets close enough, it might start firing again.
Ensign,
bring us to
Warp
9
.
I.
[Nothing happens
.
Picard realizes that the blind, deaf (etc.) woman is manning, or womanning, that
control.]
Riker:
Picard:
[Yelling
at the blind, deaf (etc.)
woman womanning
the controls]
WARP NINE
POINT ONEt
W-A-R-P N-1-N-E
P-1 ... P-O-N ... POINT
W-O-N!
[Moving
to the helm control, saying to himself]
Warp
9
.
I
.
[Meanwhile, in
the
engine
room,
Tippy
has
been
running
for 65 minutes and is only at
Ma
c
h 2.5.
Suddenly, a small woman, sporting an uncanny likeness to Shirley
Maclaine,
wanders in. By an
o
ther
coincidence, her name
is
Shirley
Maclaine.
She
is wearing
a uniform at
least
7 sizes too large. The
uniform arms run about
7
inches passed
her
closed fists. Her shoes are not
visible
.
Geordie and
Data are working on the wall consoles and
she
moves silently to the cage.]
13
Shirley:
Geordie:
[Quickly
opens the top of the hamster cage and grabs
Tippy
.]
ANIMAL
RIGHTS!
LIBERATE
THE ANIMAL SLAVES!FREE TIPPY!
FRICASSEE
THE EVIL HUMAN
SLAVE
MASTERS!
[Not
able to ignore the racket] Stop! [Calmly]
Ok,
put down the hamster.
[Unfortunately, neither Geordie nor Data knew that the Animal Liberation Front was just a
cover
for
a weird group of people who liked eating hamsters.]
[Shirley turns around, face
out of
view, and lifts her hand
to
her face. After a second, there is
an
explosion of
blood.]
Geordie:
Shirley:
Geordie:
Data:
Worf:
Geordie:
T
i
ppy!
[Turning to
face
Geordie, she is holding the decapitated, and slightly dead, body of
Admiral Tippy and her mouth covered in hamster blood] TIPPY IS FREE!
No he's not, you ate his head off you stupid bitch! Last time I pondered the
concept
of freedom, it
involved
retaining most parts of my body.
[Tapping his insignia] Security to engine
room.
[Over intercom] Acknowledged.
[Tapping insignia] Worf, there is a hostile
confrontation,
you might
get
to kill
someone.
[M
ere
seconds later, Worf beams directly to the engine room.]
Worf:
Shirley:
Worf:
Data:
Worf:
Data:
Worf:
14
[Waving phaser at Shirley] Breathe and you DIE!
Ack!
[Falls
on the ground, wiggles convulsively, and dies.]
[Slapping his insignia]
Medical
team
to engine room.
She appears to have died from an overdose of narcotics.
She's dead?
Yes.
[Very
irritated] Damn!
I
still haven't been able to kill ANYONE today!
[Close-up of the Warp engines as they do nothing. External shot of the Enterprise as it sits dead in
space. Luckily, the Spam ship does not anticipate the sudden stop, and it speeds past the
Enterprise at Warp 9 .49]
Geordie:
Worf:
[Using his chest insignia] Captain, Tippy's dead.
I
WANTED TO KILL THE HAMSTER!
Picard: [Over intercom] Worf! Forget about the hamster! We have more pressing
Worf:
Picard:
[SCENE
8]
problems. Mer this, you can kill Commodore Blurstfunq, the Mystical Lunar
Badger.
BADGERS? I don't need no stinking badgers!
[Over intercom, quite happily] Conference!
[The door opens to the conference room, Geordie, Data and Worf are the last members to enter.
Worf is fanatically grasping his phaser
.
]
Picard:
As
you know, we are once again in need of a new power source. The Spam ship will
be in range in
15
minutes. What we need is a miracle!
[Suddenly, and very well on-cue, a figure materializes behind Captain Picard.]
Wesley:
Worf:
Hello! I discovered
20
ways to circumvent the natural laws of physics while I was
brushing my teeth this morning! I have a solution to your problem that,
unfortunately, requires my last Hostess "Ding-Dong."
SIR!! WATCH
OUT!!
[The Captain leaps out of the way, just in time. Worf fires his phaser,
set
at "Maximum
Carnage,"
and vaporizes Wesley.]
Riker:
Picard:
Crusher:
·
Worf:
Cool!
Can we see that again?
(On the ground] Worf! You killed Wesley!
You Klingon bastard! You killed my son!
[Trying to
calm
himself and everybody else] It was a slight accident. Sorry.
15
Crusher:
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
Crusher:
Geordie:
Riker:
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
Riker:
Data:
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
16
[Wailing] I'll never see my son again!
[Getting up] And Wesley was our key out of here. He probably could have fixed the
replicator to make more beernuts.
[To
Crusher] Dr. Crusher, before Wesley was disintegrated, two hairs fell from his
head. We might be able to reconstruct him using modern cloning techniques.
That's silly. We
~
could get in trouble for that.
[Sniffling] Well, we could try ...
[frying to command some attention
J
We have to find another way to generate
power!
We could create 70,000 tea kettles, boil water and run the Enterprise on steam.
[To
Riker, directly to his left] Don't be absurd. [f
urning to Data, one seat past Riker]
Data?
Since all the other hamsters in Starfleet are assigned to Military Strategy positions, no
others are on board the Enterprise. My cat could be useful.
Your cat? I can't wait to hear this one.
We can plug the engines into a wall socket!
[Ignoring Riker] You may be familiar with static electricity. If you take a cylindrical
rubber rod and stroke a cat's fur, an electric
charge
can be produced.
Yes, but will this be sufficient to power the Enterprise and do we have the resources?
I believe you have a large collection of rubber rods in your quarters ...
[Frustrated] Data, Data
.
.. How can a cat supply enough energy?
If the cat. .. [pauses to calculate]. .. was roughly 12 times the size of a human, we would
have adequate power for Warp 9.
I suppose it wouldn't help to politely suggest that ... CATS DON'T GROW TO 60
FEET LONG!!!
Crusher:
Captain, with an extra-large dose of steroids, Spot could increase in size to 35 meters
in the next ten minutes.
Picard:
[SCENE 9]
[Confused] Damn. There is no Shakespearian reference giant cats. No matter,
·
hopefully,
I'll
find one by the end of the episode. [To the group] Make it so.
[Inside the engine room, Spot is sitting down. They have removed the Warp console table to give
the cat room. The cat's head is normal size
.
However, the body is over 80 feet long. It's
biceps are 24 feet around. It looks like a big, furry lump, mostly because it is a big, furry lump. It has
an alligator clip rather painfully attached to its tail.]
Spot:
[Sounding like James Earl Jones] MEOW!
[Geordie and Data are both holding 5 foot rubber rods, apparently not from Captain Picard
'
s pr
i
vate
collection
.
They look at each other, Geordie nods. The take the rods and start rubbing them on the
cat's fur. Straightaway, the Warp engine begins to become animated.]
Picard:
Geordie:
[Over intercom] Mr
.
La Forge, it's a bit jerky, but we have Warp 2. Well done
.
[Not paying attention, being quite focused on rubbing th_e cat] What was that about
beef jerky?
[Suddenly, the cat, in typical cat thinking, decides it doesn't want to be there. It gets up, ripping the
cord, attached to its tail, from the wall. Spot looks around, grunts, and walks out
of the engine room. The door isn't quite big enough to let it through, but its amazing what a
determined cat on steroids can do.]
Geordie:
[Tapping is insignia] Captain ...
[SCENE 10]
[Bridge. Data is back at his post, replacing the blind, deaf lesbian ensign. Picard is standing up, Riker
is sitting in his comfy chair. Worf is behind Riker, on the ledge. The viewscreen shows the Spam ship
approaching at quite an impressive speed
.
]
Riker:
Picard:
[Glumly] I can't believe that giant cat thought my quarters was a litterbox
.
[Half paying attention] Yes and good job by the cat, too.
[The Spam ship has finally crept up to the unmoving Enterprise.]
17
Picard:
Well, this is it.
Worf:
Sir, the Spam ship is hailing us.
Picard:
On screen.
[The viewscreen fiips to the interior of the Spam ship. Instead of seeing a monotone Spam
crewmember, they see Dianna T roi.]
Picard:
Troi:
Picard:
Troi:
Picard:
Tro
i
:
Picard:
Troi:
Picard:
Riker:
P
i
card:
Riker:
Picard:
Data:
18
Counselor T roi ! What are you doing there?
[From the Spam ship] You shot me here. By the way, your torpedo tubes are clean.
But how did you manage to survive the Spam warriors?
[From the Spam ship] Well when I was first on the ship, I defended myself by biting
one on the leg. After that it was simple.
What did you do?
[From the Spam ship] The entire Spam ship is run by a single entity, in essence, one
mind, right?
Yes ...
[From the Spam ship] And I am a psychologist. So I used my psychological
background to convince the Spam that it was actually not a giant spacefaring race,
but a small sausage factory outside of Frankfurt.
Good job ... Still, it will figure out that it isn't a sausage factory. We need a way to
destroy it.
[Finally noticing the Matter/Antimatter device that was beamed over much earlier]
What a nice bomb!
[Actually taking heed of something emanating from Riker] What?!
[Holding it up proudly
J
This is such a pretty bomb!
[Quickly turning] Data! What is it?
I do not understand the word "it."
Picard:
Data:
Picard:
Data
:
[Completely unfazed] All right, what type of bomb is that?
[Pausing to analyze] It is a Romulan Matter/Antimatter bomb.
How much time left?
Exactly six minutes, thirty-four seconds.
Picard:
[Talking into the air] Chief O'Brien! Lock onto the bomb on the bridge and beam it
over to the Spam ship!
O'Brien:
[Over intercom] Yes sir!
[Riker disappears from the bridge and beams over to the Spam ship, appearing on the viewscreen
next to Troi.]
Picard:
I said the BOMB!
O'Brien:
[Over intercom] Oh ... I thought you said bum. [Pauses] Captain, there isn't a bomb
on the bridge.
Riker:
Picard:
Troi:
Picard:
Troi:
[From the Spam ship] I have the bomb sir!
Good ... Data, get us out of here!
[Hrrumphing from the Spam ship] Hrrumph.
Captain,
aren't you forgetting
something?
[Calming himself] Yes. Goodbye. Your service to Starfleet was commendable.
[Tapping insignia] Enterprise, two to beam back. [Stands by Riker, slaps his hands]
Leave the bomb here Will.
[T roi and Riker beam out of the Spam ship.]
Picard:
[Insistently] Get us out of here, NOW
!
[The Enterprise veers away, under the power of the 70,000 teapots running the Enterprise
on
steam
-
power. The Enterprise zooms out of view. A few minutes later, the Spam ship
explodes.
There was no sound, however, because no one was there to hear it.]
[SCENE 11]
19
[Picard is talking to Beverly Crusher in his ready room.]
Picard:
Crusher:
Picard
:
Crusher:
Picard:
I am sorry about the loss of your son.
Under the cloning technique, I cloned the cells from his hair. I managed to grow
something, but it was just more hair.
There was nothing you could do?
Actually, this process is a very cheap source of hair. I'm going to become a millionaire
selling Wesleyhair coats and wigs.
It's a shame you couldn't bring him back.
[Suddenly
,
there is a flash of light]
Q:
Pic
a
rd:
Q:
Picard:
Q
:
We
s
ley:
Picard:
[Dressed in the Starfieet admiral uniform] Greetings Picard!
Q!
What do you want?
Since I enjoy using my powers to annoy you, I decided to do the unthinkable to you.
What is that?
[Snaps his finger, there is a flash of light next to Picard.] Why bring back Wesley, of
course!
Hi sir!
[Subverting his anger] Oh, on the contrary..
.
[Trying to keep up the act] this is a
great favor ... [Straining] OH DAMN! [Slumps over on the desk, crying
.
]
[External shot of the Enterprise speeding through space to a repair dock.]
[Caption: ALL NEW EPISODE]
[Shot of the Enterprise.]
Preview:
Next time, on an all new episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation ...
[Shot of malicious looking furry mammal, squeaking.]
Preview:
Dangerous ferrets stalk the crewmembers of the Enterprise ...
20
[Shot of a
computer
control panel]
Preview
:
A mysterious alien intelligence infiltrates the Enterprise's computer core and
continuously plays Bob Dylan's "Rolling Stone" for three days straight.
.
.
[Shot of Worf on sickbay table]
Preview:
Worf must deal with a lima bean he has accidentally stuffed up his nose
...
[Shot of Wesley, strumming a musical instrument.]
Preview:
Wesley is too busy learning the banjo to save the ship
...
[Shot of Riker's face.]
Preview:
And Commander Riker must decide between the lives of his crew
..
.
[Panning shot of the bridge
,
with all the crewmembers present.]
Preview
:
And a bag of Tootsie Rolls!
[Shot of a bag of Tootsie Rolls.]
Preview:
Next week, on Star Trek!
[Closing music]
21
j
l
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