The Circle, February 1, 1973.xml
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Part of The Circle: Vol. 10 No. 12A - February 1, 1973
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The Coicle
February
J,
1973
VOL. I()
NO. I~
A
.. :\s a last venture for the Co-editors
of
the Circle. ( Ed O'Connell and .
Stuart Gross> ;. We are hoping to start a possible tradition for all
t•ditorfal boards when their time has ended. At this time we would like
to lean• you with this thought: "You have laughed at us. now we hope
_you can laugh at yourself."
..
Corruption Rampart
On
Security Force
The Marist College Campus announcement to the college
Circle: ·•How was the alleged
was" rocked by the discovery of commwiity_· wedriesday. _"I am
corruption able to continue so
• ·•graft and corruption right up to sickene_d by the discovery" said
long unnoticed?
the highest offices of the security Presideng Floy .. _·. .
The President: What?
force." The story" broke when
Circle.: Ifepo1;-fe.r Bob . Bieber
Circle: Never mind.
President Milbatis Floy made an was on th~ see~~:,
. _ • ..
When pressed
for details,
·
.
___
;.__.;.. ______
_...__________
President Floy stated that the
• Pe~ce~-W7hat
R~~lly. ii~pp~~~d
•
f~tZ~t::cx~~iJ
0
~!ct!:e}t~!
on Jhe Mafia payroll. ~loy alsc
------
..
-..
--··-•·
..
•.•··'"/·The-
·Jumble
E~;J~~~~§:E15
• -. --
-
supposedly heavely guaraed.
When • security
Director
A Backward
I
Glance •
I
to the class of '73
!•'our years of sordid episodes have past.
and now our parting looms apparc'lt at last.
We drop behind our greatest effectr •
·or
idealism, hope, perseverance and neglect.
We
were to
~
the greatest of classes,
not walk around with our heads in the clouds.
We took our hazing, all the grief and rile,
and when we hazed we did it in style.
Community. peace. love. these words are now good,
. where hatred. violence, and tradition once stood.
We fought together against all the issues.
at the cost of many thousands of tissues.
Anti•war. Nixon. Agnew. and Laird.
we voiced our protests, we were not scared.
We took to task every issue and item.
and now our school disavows IBM.
Eight o·clock hadn't finished its tum in tbe·a~m. li!)eup on this cold Haderhalt was· confronted with
i,
Saturday morn1ng in January. President Nix(!tl 5c8t$ilently behind his the evidence. he said. "Do you
I
llur present class is not without peers.
marble topped desk in his private office. He was jrQni.ng out a few pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?" ij
to those of our country and men of long years.
kinks of the speech he would soon deliver for liis inauguration. Fifteen
It was alleged that the Security
g
Lincoln and Nixon and I<'illmore and Grover.
thousand fanatical screaming fans were expected to~
on
hand f<?r.
~
• Vorce was supporting a campm
ffi
we find Mulligan. Maneri. O'Connell. and Cloer.
opening of his !econd terpi on the steps.of th~ CapitaL . •• •
.
. ··,red light district. protecting
fi .
What of Washington. Adams. Jeffersen. and Capone.
He started to reread his speech. He felt himself nodding off but Just niimbers operations. and ad- ;.Im·:_:,···
. we have Scovotti. DeNara. Freccia. and Simeone.
~efore he fell deE:P
into oblivia, Press ~cretaryH<>nald Ziegler walked~ vising SAGA food service. Mosl .
. m
and hand~ h1!11
a bundle_of mo1·mng_
newspapers
fr.~m
~ound the members of the Security Force
After four years we look at our teachers.
country. Pnmarlly he was mterested m what .the ed1ton_als had. to could npt be found after the story
§.
and compare them with the age old teachers.
constructively offer. He woul_d
·put them: into_ t~e.
columns:_ 1 .. hit .. However, Circle reporter~
ID
Look at Plato, Socrates. f>ascal and Hegel.
AGREE.
I
~ISAGRE~, ~nd
I
CENSURE. .
. .
. .. _· _· .. _
,\·ere able to_ find a few. Super-
I .
and now our Teichman. Schroeder. Griffin, and Cagel..
Afte: readin~ the editonal~ a~d :the ~por~ ~age~, he picked
up
the • visor· Mack Jicena said "Ten.
d
There is Marx. I<'reud. Spinoza. and McLuhan. •
through the pages until he round the Jumble.
.
$:W.1
for no Decal". When asked
New \ ork Daily New~_·
Pulling out his Pre. S1dent1al P. e_n he flipped doll_a.rst
__
·orNo Parking area_, and
.
1
❖=<
and our own Waters. Kirk. Pasquariello. and Nolan.
"Dai:nn" he ~id. "It's that same wo~d. • Why do .they keep using if he wasinyolved in thealleged
1
,
Ncxtto our social scene we turn
\\ith
glears.
rerun Jumbles?_ He :was stuck on the f~rst.word •.
_EAP.EC we!'! the corruption.
Student·._Director
I
tofindthefastcouplesofMarist'slongvears.
letters. He pacecl the noor :and wrote· on· the c~ams
trymg to Clark Kent said: "You know lhe.
• !"II be damned if Pancherithjnks life is Divine.
••••
-rea_rrangc theseJetters -which: had· puzzl~cthim.for. four, .ye~~-, Tll~:., Iastguy,wh1>:ru.;1icd'thatgot
-~.siif;:
• . ; -... amUf.T.fil59rn)i.b~!:J.
011~.rm.$m:g_J:i~
~£l.!'1Jn~..,__
...
phone rang.
•
•
~.
•• dropped on .his head:" When·.,,
llowaboutMriVicePresidentandthegirlhecallsNancy.
.
_
_ .
·
.
_ .0::~-_
.. usked how'he felt Grendan. Pill.
"
ask Sheehan of Sheahan if Ellen·s his fancy.
··11e~lo.
Spiro. What gets y~ up so early'?''. said_the P~£l~~dent~ he" patrolman ~replied:
•!J'll·
make·
unwrapped
a
new·pack of Wmchesters. He 1ma~m~ himself with
a
you an offer you can't_refuse·."
mo~stac_he
and a new hat. he wondered why he didn task Pat for her . Patrolman Hoe H_µgo
said: "How
resignation.
.
.
._
.
. .
.
far. is it to.Canada?:' All this
.. Well. Richard. I w~s _precarious
~
dubiliation that you ~.gbt fall transpired as Supervisor Robin •
prey tosomecommurusticattempt tomduceyou to oversleep.
was last seen heading south with
··Ha.ha.olebuddy,Don'tyouworryaboutme.'.'
a
suitcase filled with small un•
.. Did you fix up your soliloquoy?"
. .. , .
marked bills .
.. Let _me
say this a_bout that. Spiro.
I
hav~ tped by best,. but
I
s~ill
With the almost total disap-.
cannot
m
clear conscience make up a dynannc interlude; I wish, I wish pearence of the Security force
I
could write like J.F.K."
-
·,: .; ' , ·.widespread
I
looting has broke~ _
··wh?'?°' Agnew_
"".as s~lent, then ask~d, "By the way, Mr. President,. •.out on campus. ".The situation is
who will be admm1ster1ng the oath? .
• out of- control.·· said President
··w~rren B. He_
doesn't give.me too ma~y words ina ro~ to ~ry to 1·1oy. An atomosphere of tension •
recall:. The last time I got stuck between honor and obey. said .the hangs over Marist Campus as
blushing Pres.
••
.
.
everyone wonders if things will
Now take a look a ta monolith of scorn.
or that institution Marist calls a dorm.
For triads. Tinkers to Evers to Chance comes
to
my eyes.
but try Champagnat. Leo. an~ Sheahan for size .
Leo
was
known for the zoo and ifs benders.
why is the :3rd floor so big on Pokeepsie's bartenders?
Champagnat surely has enough committees to fill.
all their greater and lesser house councils still.
Boredom ·s their bane so they created a barn.
and be wary of their security or you'll sound an alarm,
Sheahan for years we thought of as fags.
when in reality they're only big brags.
This time Spiro's voice became more solemn and sincere, one would ever return to normal.
think he was trying to do a James Stuart imitation.
"I
hope_you know
that
100.000
commie radicals are coming down to violently protest and
The smaller houses are known for their cliques.
-~
but what do they really do over there for kicks'?
'@ The Gregory snobs are all too
high, I
deem,
possibly disrupt ·your .day of infamy.".-·
•. .
• . . •
"I
know that Spi. and
I
don't caJ'.e.
I
have ordered air support and a
regiment <i.
National Guardsmen
to
come up from the south. I also will
have my close friends, the Redskins, in my row.
.
. . "But;· Mr. President, quivered Agnew, '.'Jerry .Rubin and Abbie
•
Hoffmann will also be here and
so
will .the Hell's Angels. ·1 wonder if
Jane is going to come. That's why
I am warning you."
•
'.'They are not the ones lam worried about,so I don't care."
•
The Vice President found the ~xt words hard to find but finally had
to reveal them.
.
.
.
•
"Mr; President, I didn't-want to alarm yoo but there is a strong
possib.ility that the Marist weathermen- may be coming down also.".
Nixon panicked. "Spiro, I -will call you back."
•
.
.
'•
'/
Beads of sweat now covered the President's· upper lip. He was
shaken by this latest development. Again he picked up his phone.
Three - six~ one.-five -five-five·~ five.·
•
•
• ."~llo Henry, thisis Richard.".
.
... Richard? .Richard Who?" .. .
·The.President.''..
. .... .
;,But Richard- it isn't even nine-o'cla<;k-."•
.. - ..
• "Henry;·listen: I-am in grave trouble.'.'·.· .. • •.
-·.'.'Did Pat.leave you again:?'.'...:...:-:.•-
.. ·· • , ....
• "No.-No, No. There are staunch reports.tbat.the· Marist weathermen
arecomingdowntotoday~srally agaiiisUhe war:"' ..
·.:•OH NO, NO, OH NO, 0 TELL ME IT AJN!T SO.''
"lhave called a meeting with the join~ chiefs. of stlitff and I want you
to fly to Paris after the ceremony and talk to le Due.
I
think we better
end this war. this week."
•
.
"Ofcourse, Mr.' President. What Marist·wants,-Marist gets."
· ·•oh Henry, let me ask you one thing._Did you do today's Jumble in
the News.H·. •. .
.
.
••
.
··Yes ( did; and I had a terribly hard time on that first word. I
. couldn'.t get ·it no matter how hard
I
tried.
I
told myse_lf
that
l
had it,
I
thought it.was at the tip of my .hand, Finally,:! was forced by the.
janitor to get it.''
. •• .
,·wen. what.is it?!' anxiously inquired the president.
"P+E+A+C+E.'-'
.
•
"Peace·; I never heard of it before. What does it mean?"
, '.
'··'.'.',
'
....
,.
''
''•'.'
I
Stu.dent
· Gov't
-In-Action
The
meeting
of Stuqent
<iovernment was called to order
by President Bernard Mulligan .
,··Nard" to all the beautiful.
people in. Gregory House> at
8:00
on the evening of January-
29,
exactly . three weeks late, All
• members of the Elite Council
wei:e present and accounted for,
except
vice-president
and
•. financial wizard,Jo£' Cocopardo .
\\'hen· called ofr the campus
phone.-Joe said that he was .in-
disposed. and had .to study for an
important_ .mi~term that was
coming up in about two months.
The._meeting proceeded without
the estecmed-Cocopardo.
l•'irst item on the agenda was
the Treasurer's Report, given as
• infrequently
as · possible by
Moneybags Ranellone, who just
bought himself a new car. The
esteemed .Ranellone summed it
all up in
a
few words: ·•summing
it all up in a few words; ··guys .
Be_rnie
has got to cut out spending
Student • Government
funds,
because we got no funds left."
Hecording secretary Bob Nelson
•
Cont. on page 4
'
~
.
~
while l<'ontaine is falling
a
part at the seams.
ffl
Benoit's another story you should note with alack,
•
by tl,lc lavender shades or th~i.r parked :Cadillac's.
So.
good bye to you all, 1 hope I've not harmed,
Just poking nice fun here at the Marist Funny Farm.
Love.
me
Apathy
Takes
Life
Of
,.,,.
.
.,
Student
f<'rank della Kasetta, a third
year Police Science major, was
rushed to St. Francis Hospital;
last night for what doctorrs call
the "most severe case of apathy
ever
recor9ed
in
the
Poughkeepsie area."
della Kasetta died one hour
later ..
Area
health • official,
K.
Lesenko. hoped that the cause
which is easily communicale and
easily contagious would not
spread.
Housemaster
Pet
llinesight
responded
im-
mediately to • the hospitals call
where he told newsm~n.
"I
don't
care what happens. Who am I to
say anything. Leave me alone."
Apathy tests have been given
around
the
community
of
Poughkeepsie, but no college
students have been in for the test,
even though it is reported my
special that this is the place
where it all starts. Police believe
that students at deila Kasetta~
Cont. on page 2
PAGE2
...
,Shaping
The
Shapeless
Into:
Hoom depooits are $.50
and are due immediately. They
are
refun-
dable in
8
lllonths with a written request in triplicate. The first copy is
to be made out on yellow paper. The second copy is to be made out en
green paper. With the third copy on toilet paper.
•
.
Then after
17
visits to the appropriate authorities you're infcrmed
they_are looking into the _matter. After what seems io be forever, you
recel\'e the check l~
interest th~y charge you for holding your
money> and a deduction for vandalism on a room you haven't seen
because you live off campus ... But at least you didn't let the
bureaucracy get you down. After all you have the check in your hand
for a
$1.50.
Campus center hours - Check the Rathskeller.
The scene takes place in the 'Bookstore"?
Student:
"Bookstores
do
·seu
books, don't they?
-
Mgr. ·•Get to the rear of the line, hand your schedule to the man in
charge.
':!
hr. later: ''What books do you have?"
Mgr. You must understand it's due to the-hours a bookstore keeps.
Come
back later.
.
Later that day:
Mgr. not in. refer to time schedule. Time schedule "We are in at our
own convenience."
•
Dean Waddle made a recent statement about marijuana recently.
He. stated "its a plant, isn't it?
•
.
A
Ditty
.
Freddie and Pattie they sit right, there,
•
they practice their vows, do they care?
.
.
You walk up to your opponent sizing it, waying the Pros and Cons.
You decide to take a chance, reach into your pants pocket and pull out
your last
25
cents; You putthe coin in the slot and its gone.
_
,
.
Step right up folks and purchase your parking stickers. This handy
da_nd}·
piece of paper and glue will amaze you. For the unquestioning
price of
$3.~
you can
_be
tagged, gagged_ and flagged:-And, you can
.
earn bonus Jmes rangmg from
$10
on up.
• .
~.:;.
Ms. Librarian, coµld
you
help me find a book? "Only
if
its on the first
floor, I'm afraid of the dark.
"Hey you wanna smoke some mary-jane?, maybe buy some'? Being
a suave
.and
sophisticated dop~ smoker I said: "Let's have a taste
first"
:-;·
I
enter his room and he pulls out a pipe and says
"This
is the stuff
your gonna buy so will smoke it." He fills the pipe and
I
take a few
tokes
while
he blasts his stereo.
I
straighten out and leave the room
having bought a
Z
of some bad ass weed
..
I get to my room and fill my
pipe and light it. An odor permeates throughout the room and you
_wonder
"Who's cooking Pizza???·
Amen
TI\ECOlCLE
FEBRUARY 1, 1973
A Marist Fable:
Business Office
Means Business
Once upon a clear January checks in his wallet and produced
··Ah. yes," She exclaimed,
afternoon, a young dedicated his identification.
The lady while thumbing through com-
senior. well known and respected studied the information on the puter sheets which holds_ the·
throughout
the community,
card carefully, looking earnestly
.
secrets of the Tibetan Monks, the
wandered innocently into the at the student, and. asked;
Pentagon Papers, and the Office
center of economic activity at "Whats your name"?
•
Managers laundry list," Your
Marist College - The Business
The stude~t. now slightly
problem is quite obivious,you are
Office.
concerned about the future of"this not registered hei:e . .,
.
.
"Good Morning, Mam,". he discussion. cast·
·his•
eyes in·
-.··There
was a strange chemical
saluted. ··rm a little confused eternal patience
.to
the
1938
.
reaction-. occuririg inside the
over a comment made by the ID Currier and Ives calendar on the bewildered students head.
It did
card validator. She says I'm not wall
...
my name," he answered/'
seem odd to him, even though
registered here. "Of course I
·
is learned by decoding those )ust a few scant
.weeks
earlier he
know she was in error so I'd symbols
just
..
l;>el_ow
.
my had withstood courageously. the·
appreciate your clearing this photograph."
..
'··
•
..
..
rigors of registration, he_ ~hould.
matter up."
•
.
She
•
-
.ac~n_<i"Vl~ifgecl•
:<·this
find himself di:opped from his
.•
"May I see your ID. card discovery.,::-
:
.
•.
>-~
-:-
:.
:.
::
much
desired
•
courses.
.
please."
the amiable
.. •
lady
- ··Now.thatwe·have
established ·•Mirabiledictu'' he pondered,
"I
-
replied. So. the. young
•
man· who I am.:perhaps you cari clear don't feel, n9~-re~istered,
_
how
thumbed through the· cancelled·'. pp my probl_~n:is.:·:
.
-
: .
:
could this not. happen?'.'
,"It's
really quite. simple, therefore· I
A D
·
I
·
1·
~:~:>
••
_
_..
can explain it to you .. )'m.i hav_e
.
.
.
.
a_
Y..
.
n·
·.
:·--:r_.
_·_l
__
:_~_e
__
:_
..
~=-·._F~.--~_)
__
:~
no.~J!~~ ~~~r~ill~~~nite lady":
_I
_
-
.
happen to 1:>e'the
pi:<iud
pos~~or
L
.
f
-
Of T
·,
.
-
.
'
..
'
..
··.
..
.
of a MaristGrant-In-Aid,
A Ni::~
••
I
-
e- -
.:-:--·
·
..
:_h··
e.:
::.-
:·_·;
__
•
=:>.
~:J\
sgi::e:~e~:Jc~t::~~
-
-
grant ~talipg:to,$700:IJO,
How can
~
·
..
-·~
;-
.•
-
•
.
.,-~-
~
·l
not
be
r~gist~red~'~_-;
•
•
...
C
t
U
•
.
·•Did
you.ten us you possessed.
0
mm
U
er.
.
□
·1-o·n·
these,(unds'?.",-she paried_slyly.
,·
·
·
•
•···What
tell you?", he shohted.
·:..
··.
:
.•
.
•·
•
•• •• •
..
··1t·s
in. the same folder.where
.
·.:,:·".
•
·:
-.
' ·-
••
·~
:::_.~-
you got niy address to se"tid me
. .
,
·
•
.
·
my bill for the courses· that
I
J om
Ji
arrell,
Hapless
.Meanwhile. Kathy Scott· took ha
•
dea t
•
t
• .,;
I
'rcsid_ent
_of
the
-
most dyna~c
•
no~es for her four math courses in
·Ff:"
lad
O
~;tg:{
·~s
out
orgamzat1on on· the Mar1st spite of all the racket.
•.
•
•·
·
·
k
•
.dY •
1- htl
th
•
•
,
b ·
•
•
·
"nk·
I
,
•
.
wea ene
.
s 1g y
en re-
~mpus. was. egm~mg to s1
n a ~orner.-.t:,vo peop.~:-were established her determination.
mto the stupor whi~ charac-
performing a grisly rendition of
·
.
,.
.
.
terizes the person-who has eaten
··Heartbreak Hotel;'·' the artists ~ 1th a reaffirmed 1>e~se
of ~uty,
one left-over inarshamllow
.
too ,..,ill go nameless because I
.
_she
10\yered the boom upon the
.
.
.
- .
,
•
. -
_ say
•
enraged stude~t. Her reply was a
-
The
.
Phase:::Three,
Cook
Book
many
from
.the
disastrous
so. but. the
.sound
they .were di b
r
-
11 1
"So
...
.
t:on:iuter, Up.ion Marshmallow · producing was causing Tom
.
?;
0
ica
Y
c ev~r. . _rry.
'·
.
Hoast. When. the deliveryman -. l•'arrell·to start· mumbling, about.
)_he_
stuc,lent wa~ _f1~shed. _He.
"
•
·
'·
' •• ,;
·• t' ed
er
..
,
If
h
"B
tt
L
..
"B
•
k
knew
that there was nothing
.
.
.
cg~
<:_rt ourlB_Mo
ice- pust m~
·tt
e
.
et
Y ..
-~1u49th.
St
-~•c
d. _!load---
-more
"that could be said. In
ia~
new
.
compu er mo, a
•
_masers·'•:
.
••
a~
gonna boiling l•'RUSTRATION he ran
corne_r. asking whether.or ~ot h_e.
··get
•.:co~!-ee.
for . the coff1;e outside to the back of 'rontaine
was m the Computer
-Umon,
1t machme
,
Man._, F_arre~l-~a.s
on. hall where he began to ponfficate
.
~;at all
:ro~.coµld
do
f?
mumble\
_
?
bum~~~ . trip from those about a·· shrub:
_ _
_
1
\\'e Americans are a changing dinner bell.
Negative.
It
was evident
.t~
all··
,
mallows_...
• .
.. . .
:
•......
,
The moral of· this story:
people". Married couples are
••
Therefore.
•
in
the
great
of us present that ~ur ebullient
Joe_
.
I>_uffy
.
.was gl~emg. his
..
"Remember the Business Office
_
changing partners.
Teenagers tradition of modern
_science,
1
leader was suffermg from a postage stamp collection to the
.-
•
1
•
•
•
•iii
g
d bl t g·
•
are changing religions. Wives are say.
:'Let
the bells ring"!". \\'hilt•
marshmallow overdose.
office wali.
saying.how
artistic it"
IS
a :y~w•.
n a.~ a e
O I
Ve
changing
husbands,
.
and it might not always be chicken.
,Jim Peluso; head of our-Social looked, while ~·rank Ma.rtin was
•
you
e usm_ess.
•
,
husbands arc changing babies. let us follow our leader in rriaking
l'romotion and Problem-Solving: moaning about how· he'd. ac-
.•
~~1<'%iW%&.~
.
Due to all of this change; many· the most of it Next week's en-
tiroup. was outlining his plans to cidentally spent
:a:·
t909-S_:·vpB
of us seem lost or resentful that tree: "Steak Surprise".
The
make the C.U. office.-into a ,:,penny.,-.down in the Rat. Fran
.
the old ways have been cast
surprise?
It's potatoes!
topless nightclub when
"Jim
,
DiGr~ndi was pI°aying secretary-
.
aside. Without the bulwark of
Cioffi. who had changed from a about this
.time,.
and_-~P~.-
wai;;
.
tradition. we are vulnerable to
resident-to
.a
commuter-to-a-
turning
..
on all the charm, she.
.
.
.•.
the attacks and immorality of the
.s·
·t
U·
d
e· n
t
resident~again so often he. didn't
.
:
~ould ~~Ster t_o
ge·~
h~r.·
rellecti_on
• •.
1
':iru.
ti~db of_
go~f : bee~
new guard. We have been proven
know where to go home at night
m the mirror to run down to the
•
rug _s
,an
•
_eer_
.
as
an.
gullible by the slanted news
asked Peluso why he'd want t~
.
Hat and get-he,;:.a_
cheese!Jurger.
.
s_peci;~f
\kwheredtlibe
bars ts.e
1
rye
.
. . hts t
"th
t
·r
.
Sh
.:·
•
't
"h"
.•
h
1
•
•.
}OU
_wm
s an
.
eer. a ow
media that we trusted for so long.
own a mg po
_w1
ou a roo
_.
:..
e. wasn_
.~
a_y1~g muc
..
uck,
•
Th
•
L.
t
-
to
th"
• •
Now.
WC'
fear a ruthless
·on-
Tom Kelly, posmg as a token • Also lookmg-
·mto.
the mirror,
prices_
•.
•
.
e~. is en.
·
-
is.
slaught at the hand of. modern
d".
·,·
·e
S
·_
•
·o·f
sane p~rson in the_:<>utfit.
took
._which
is a t~~.sll!ed.re_i!li!1d~r;of,
•.
SPECIAL AT
:BRANK$
-
7
.
\\ickedness.
notes o?'the encounter, and swore
.
th~ days. when
.ourJ>f(1ce-was_
a'..
•
NIGHTS
A
WEEK: ALL/fHE
To protect ourselves, we chose
~the
d make a_ movie base<:1
on -
_barbers~op
,.for
-,c!~n._
-~!~W~llt
- ·BEEil'
•
YOU
.•
CAN
-·:BUY
a
leader we had hoped would
be
.
grim events m the office.. stude~ts of an earher M;ir1st,.~as.
_..
THAT'S IiIGHT
•coME
TO
capable of making the most of
._Jo~.T•epe~~n~_.
,~l)o;w;is
b-ymg ·.THE.·:.·
,
BAR_.-:·· WHERE.
••
our weakness, gullibility,
__
and
h
.
.
_
to _mJect s1hcon~mto th~ eleven
• •
·BUYBACKS
AND
COMFORT
rear
••
and capable he. has
Apa
t
.
y·..
Ping Po~ t~rnament. He aJso
~,rs
scatter_ed aJogg_:hl_S-Jlpper,: l>ON'T;
EX.IST:
•.
:-
•
• ·:
proven! The product of·his
placedmnthmthemarathonT.V.·
hpsohe_couldgrow:a_musuiche.·
.,.
;
..
·•,"
,.
,_. •
•
-
•
··making
the most"·.is an·ood
watch three
years
ago in
-~.nd.~t.-Jast
esGa~;tl)e_Q.a~id_
.•
_ -~%&..~
ru
•
i-"··.
littlecreaturecalled •'Phase3".
I
_Champagnat.
Due to his iri-
Cassidy look
.which
·he.-just
•
do not pretend, like so many··
from page
1
-
volvement
and credentials Frank
naturaUy had.
··:
..
••
..
:-->:
,
.-------------.
others, to understand· the in-
school have, been
.
teaching
was nominated for "Junior of the
•
••
In a c_orner,
·_two people were
tricacies of this riew plan· for
apathy
to grammar
school
Year."
••
-
•.
performing
.a
grisly- rendition of.-
stability. However, we can all see
children..
A·
spedal meeting had
_been
"Long Tall Sally;" the artists
some of the far reaching effects.
According to della Kasettas
called !Jy the Student Leaders in· will go-nameless because· I· say
•
For instance, our weakness has
roommate, Stanley Romaneck, order to curb the spreading so.
:but
the sound. they were
been replaced with the: strength
thevictimhadnotleft his room in :ipathy in the large_Jecture hall. producing was causing Tom
of confidence in a new idea. Our
three years except to eat, visit
All three people showed up for the Farrell to start m1,1mbling
about
guUibility has been
•
converted
the john, and occasionally attend
first time this semester but one "champagne
pa:rty"
"being
into faith in our leader and his
.
a class. ··All Frank ever wanted
fell asleep and. the other two
•
bartender" ;:puttin~ ·mallows·in-
•
managerial skill. Ho,vever,-our
_
to do was ~lch and go to the Pie
refused. to give more than
.an
~e bu~bly
and,
_.well
•• ,M~n, •
fear has been replaced only by and Shove." For their roommate.
·abstain'
on any measure.
I
l•a~e.llw~sreally_gone this_time._
confusion about what the hell this Romaneck and Jackson Knag
A service was to be held this
Chri_s
Wise ~as m
-~
middle of·
,vhole mess actually is and what threw all. his belongings out of afternoon but
it
appears now that all _this.
•
but she
•
was actually
•
do wedo until somebody finds out twelfth floor window and ripped everyone wants to
·sit,
in the gettmg some work done. Larry •
and explains it to us.
.
his name off the·list in the phone lob~y.
•
.
_·_
I-:3sko and Daria Delaware, the
This column is dedicated to booth. Then they both went back
A spokesman for the familv.
<,
hos!-5 of Commute.rs Past, were
helping
fearful
Americans·
to bed.
•
.
.
.
Jirri Calcaterra, called Frank
ari .
~.unnrng arou~~
•
screaming
•
caught in
·
the pinch between
It
was originally hoped that the ··energetic individual who always
Hepent, _ye.
activists!! ! There's
depressed salaries and inflated
student would recover but the wanted to get involved. But this mo!e
}?,
life-than the C?mmuter
prices. For; it was not so Jong.ago school doctor; Mr. James Bur- all changed whe_n
-he
went
to
Umo~ • • • John Tomkov1tch ~as
that we thrilled to the promise of dick;
·a
gradliate of. Marist, has college: The family knew:that the :
00
kmg
up
money,makmg
;
··a
chicken in every· pot,',' arid never been tothe_ hospital.
• •
boy was suffering
.
from the. schc~e~. while Tom
-Farrell
was
..
,
·n1EnJtl'I.E
~',,··
Apprecj~~s.
:t~~
::followin_g}~op-
tributors:
·_.
•'
·._
··-.
· .,
,._
•••
••
.,.
''.
f<Jleeil·
·
·
·-•·-·:,
.. - •·
...
·.·-:;.-·
Brian Doyle
Donald Duck
.
Brendan Gill
Stuart_ Gross
.
Hank Hammer
Jim Heilmann
James Keegan
<;regory Ladders-
.
Kevin
•
Laffin
Morna Moore
Bernard Mulligan
.
Hobert Nelson
Ed O'Connell
.John
Petraglia
.
Mike Peyton
Rick Whitesell
I~ric Yergail
The Student Body
Marist_ Colleg~
..
•.
-·
.
while our· tastes. have
."changed
.
•
:
della Kasetta ~as a m~mb~r
_of
disease but he never would speak gr!lv•~tmg above th~ ta.bl~ by
•
somewhat; psychologists. tell:. us
_·
no
•.
clubs· or
•
orgamza bons up when he· had. the· chance or this t'.me. Just then, the phone
.
that we are. still :Slaves
_of
the· although be did sign up
·for.the-.
when something was wrong"
rang
•• ;a~d
Arlen~- Bloomfield
Edited~by: O_
'Conn_
e_ll:& Gross·.·
.,
.
.
.· .•
--.
.
•·
...
•
wasmakmgacollectcan.·
,•.
.·
.
. .
...
.
_,.
:,-
__
....
--·
FEBRUARY
1, 1973
TIIECOlCLE
R.
u.
M.
The
Committee
for
the
further evidence.
Hepresentative Understanding of
"Snow White of course is the
Morality, a subcommittee of the · most blant example of evil
Mari st College Council, today allegory: After meditation and
ordered an immediate halt to all prayer it became clear to me that
activities sponsored by Marist
the seven dwarfs were indeed not
College
Childrens
Theater
the cute little meri they professed
pending
further
studies
of . to be. They were drug pushers!!
allegations and charges directed
Their
names
are
actually
towards the organization
by characteristics of the marijuana
Sister Mary Tabernacle O.P., a
addict: Sleeepy. Happy, Dopey,
teacher at Regina foeli Schoo!. t;rumpy. Sneezy and Bashful.
A source·close to the Cou~~il
Need I say_more!!!!!!!
.
revealed to us that the spec1f1c
Children's Theater Direct1>r
conteP~ of Sister Tabernacles's 17 Hi chard Cheeeeeeeechiiia
in-
page complaint
dealt
with
•
alledged attempts on the part of
Cl
· · • f • · d
•
Children's· Theater
to "un-
•
ass1
1e
• sisted
he had no previous
knowledge of these connotations
and was seen later wandering
around campus, sobbing "But its
for the children."
In accoraance
with Sister
Tabernacles
demands
the
( ·ommi ttcc declared the tern -
porary
moratotrium
on the
current production of Pinocchio,
promising however that they will
discuss the issue further at the
next meeting of the College
Council. with the schedule for
that meeting in the Fall of 1\)76.
• dermind the. ino'ral fabric of my
•
children." The "report went on to
va··
.·
•'
··n·
.
F
Or
Sa
I
e
say that under the guise of the
enchantment motif past produc:
tions have 'in fact attempted to
"introduce
to the children
homosexuality.
·drug usage,
adultery· and ohher perversions
through the sinister use of subs
telty.
•
•
•
At
a:
recent meeting of'CRUM
the Dominican 'Nun was sum- · •
moned to explain her· scandalous
accusations: In an emotional
tirade Sister Tabernacle altered
the tone of the session by
repeatedly·\vhipping the· lecturn
with
her Rosary beads, declaring
that the •final Hour' is imminent,
save·
·yourself;
Richard·
Cheechiiiaa."
'A
wakened
by .
sister
screams; • pr·e_siding
>
chairman T.C. Thomas mov·ed
that she form
a
committee to find
·
t!Ie real problem. Refusing t9 do··· p~·
-· :· ; :. ··d: ··•:
· '
::~t1etatfti~o~~~~n~n
~1
~~:.-·
_:Q
·r
O :
rs
8
second graders souls committed
f>o You Like ...
mind off of such bothersome
~?'
the_ Childrens Theaj;er. Si~ter
... exciting night life. and
things as having to clean up your
I abernacles read from her _text:· orgiastic parties'!. .. .
room. With one quick sweep of
·•wizard of Oz" <19~0>
Act III·
• ... unlimited•.·free''.eatinginan
hcrhand.shewillridyouofevery
s~ene :i: _LJpo~
returrung to the efficient.• hygienic facility?.
.movable object- in the room.
harmas farm 1_n
the wake_
ofof a
... a scenic view overlooking a
If
it·s relaxation
you are
torn~do the wizard carried the progressive landfill project?
looking for. Sheahan Arms will
heromc. : Dor?th:y. Half-clothed
Well. friends. if this sounds like afford you privacy \guaranteed
and _unconsc1o_us.
to the far- the type of place you are looking • less
th;rn twenty
one
in-
~~u~t.P.:~fl~1~!ng_ ,~I i,go~.)?e Jor_. perhaps you sh_ould}ook
into . ~~rmI?ti_ons_
within a h~un, peac;e
gir! - , • .
.
•.
• Sheahan Arms. For as little as
•·providing-you
have paid up your
Suen. dialogue
1s . overtly
s1:15
a month you too can enjoy all house fees ctc ..
1
and quiet <you
suggestive and such adulterous the conveniences
of modern
are not allowed to play music.
behav!or is part~
1
cularly un° Jiving, !"or. this unbelievably low make noise outside of the one
. becommg a _Wizard
.. Shocked by price you receive your very own hour time slot designated as
s~ch rev~I_ations the m~mbers of . half of a room
I
a spacious area • ··party time." >
l
HUM hs1tened attentively.
measuring ll"x 5'9"1 Also, at our
If you are of an ·energetic type.
"Peter
.
Pan..
. \ 1971 > commoaious conmiode, complete we have something for you too.
Throughout
~he. play Pe~er with all of the conveniences of !<.:very
night you will be sure to
repeatedly entices the darlmg home ·,Clothes hanging from
find at least four or five people
children to :•fly" with him; every imaginable. place. Sinks prowling the halls all night. not to
• eo~stantlr ask1!1g ,them "Do you full of· 'toothpaste.
showers
mention continuous parties in
bchcv~. m fairy s:· _clap your clogged with hair>. we guarantee
casi~y acce_ssible rooms.
hands . My_ susp1c1ons we_re cold running water interspersed
Ah of this and more, can be
, c?nfirmed
upo~ Wendy's m-
with hot ori sonie Holiclays.
yol!rs. Stop in or write for more
s1stance that children are gay.
. And; friends; our p'ersonal
details. Find out what dorm
innocent· and Artless."
.
. .
maid allows · you to take your living can be!
• ·oruy more startling· was this • •
•
•
•
idea of Wendy living and sleeping· . •
with seven littl<dost boys."
•
At this point iri her fit of anger
the dazed Sister . Mary Taber, . . .. Poughkeepsie;
N
:y. -Another Marist College student died early this
nacle reporteclly sta.rted .. in-.· .. morning at st: Francis Hospital. This :marks the: third student to die
tcrspering her . re~rks
• with • the "Green Death'' ·or ·F AGA Food "Services. The first known and
occasional admonitions. of Dr.
reported case appeared when Larry Pyle was found dead in Cham-
Zuccarcllowiti who she claimed
pagnaf'Hall. ·The ·autopsy confirmed the investigation of health of-
was shooting· spitballs· ~t Ed • ficials when they found strands of hair from Chef Bobz's head. Mild
Kissling. • • Ignoring. . these
mannerea Jim -Ladotz, known as Lord Jim to his employees, reported
deviations by the exhausted nun; • . the incident as unfortunate and'the Brumski special was off the .menu.
the audience satin anticipation of With not too much left ori the menu, victims two and three came as a
surprise ·to all. -Both • victims were • obviously washed away by the
-- . - .. •· -- - - . -
,
·. ·.·, •. _
.. "Green Death" as they headed for the local stalls. Officials do not
totally· credit'the deaths.:_to
-the erotic dinners of FAGA since both
victims were ·reported to be politically anti-constipationists.
I
-{
I
!
. i
I
I
I
I
PAGE3
Cu.-.-iculum
Revision For
1973
ART 101 - Introduction to Art I - 3 credits
The study of crayola crayons and No. 2 lead pencils. will be
developed with an emphasis placed on stick-figure drawings.
ART I 02 - Introduction
to
Art II - 3 credits
The student will be introduced to magic markers and finger paints.
BUSU06-Principlesof Accounting l-3credits
The student will learn the age old trusted method of counting by
fingers to help him in his business work.
BUS 007 - Principles of Accounting 2 -3 credits
.
The student will be introduced to modern business methods mainly
the IBM 941 abacus.
CMSC 123 - Introduction to Computing • 3 credits
Addition, Subtraction, Division, and Multiplication with a strong
emphasis on the "times" tables will be stressed.
ENG 234 - Elements of Description -and Narration-3 credits
Students will learn the fine art of persuasive writing <ie. "B.S."
>.
ENG 178 -Voices of Protest- 3 credits
A staff taught course on the evils of the college English major.
ENG 165-Riseofthe English Novel -3credits
Emphasis will be placed on Dickens style and works. Students will
develop a 5,000,000 word vocabulary of various articles of speech
during the course.
ENG 890 - Introduction to Communication -3 credits
Basic inter-personal communications will be stressed with em-
phasisonsuchphrases as Hello! How are you? Drop dead!-$!&?!!
ENG 891 - Comparative Communications Systems - 3 credits
Blackmail and the grapevine will
be
studied in detail. The student
will be proficient in both methods at the end of the course.
POSC 167-Introduction to Politics - 3 credits
The student will become familiar with the various methods
of
squandering and deceit so well used by American politicians today.
FRN 2:36
- Elementary French 1
&
2 -
3 credits
The basic elements of French pronunciation. grammar vocabulary,
verbs and FRUSTRATION will be taught.
SPANISH 857 - Intensive Spanish - 3 credits
A living-learning .:!xperience involved with the study of the Spanish
passion and the Don Juan concept.
FRN 866 - The Literature of Revolt in French Literature - 3 credits
The study of French pornography and other contemporary "ouevres
risque"
. LAT :ml - Elementary Latin - :3 credits
Your favorite hymns, prayers. and devotions will be studied. Open
only to nostalgic Catholics.
MATH :!87-388
• Analysis I & II • 3 credits
.
Frustration, boredom and insanity will
be
studied along with other
topics such as functions. limits and integration.
HEST :i78 • Marriage and Family - :l credits
Couples will be matched by our computer. Course will involve ex-
tensive lab work with supervised instruction.
REST !)23 • Contemporary Moral Problems - 3 credits
An insight into the moral problems facing American youth today.
Students will be expected to become fully engrossed in the moral
problem of their choice.
i· • HEST !101
- Basic Concepts of Religion - 3 credits--
An intensive study and memorization of the Baltimore catechism.
I 're-requisites:
5
rosaries and 9 weeks of Miraculous Medal devotions.
1<:xcommunicated students will be allowed into the course with the
permission of the Department chairman .
,~ K
A~
~
[~
\
'
\
\
i \
(\
•
;
\
!
c:.:J -,
7}w:t~
cool ..
b Morna Moore
,,.
PAGE 4
THE COICLE
FEBRUARY 1
1
1973
An
Interview
The Prospective
Student Athlete
Hy Jim Keegan
A typical tour given by the headlights of all of those cars, also the Soccer coach here at
Admissions Director of a well- Ctheoach
Ntapol
00
eon has esh
~blishf:d Moth. and really a fine gen-
known school in the Mid-Hudson
m~ _m ern tee ruques m tleman.
Valley, in the year 1992. He -is field lighting. Why high schools
Mr. Jock: 1 can't understand
giving the tour to a famous high and gram~r
schools fr(?m all why anyone can play soccer.
if
school athlete from New Jersey over the nation come here Just
to .
you ask me itis too European and
along with his parents.
study Napoleons m~thods.
there isn't enough scoring.
Adm. Dir: Good afternoon, my . Joey Joe~: ?Whats your gym
Adm. Dir.: well, that might be
name is Goliath Finn and
I
am like. Mr. !4"'1nn. .
true Mr. Jock, but you should let
thec!irectorof admissions.here at
Adm. Dir.: Why, its funny rou Joey be the judge of that.
MOTH.
sh01µd ask ~t
Joey. Why J~t
Mrs. Jock: Mr. Finn, what
Prospective Student: Hi, ya my oyer there, m t~t empty lot,
IS
educational value is there at
name is Joey Jock and this is my piled all the makings for a brand MOTff'
•
mudda and my fadda.
: •
~ew
3,000
s~t fieldhouse. T~s
Adm: rnr.: I am glad . you
Adm. Dir: Glad to.meet you f1eI<:111ouse
1s a very_ special • mentioned that Mrs. Jock. Why
fine people. by the way how is proJe~t to all of us h~re at MOTI:I, let's just walk over to Linus. Hall
everything down in Jersey. You especially_
because 1t h~s been m and look at our fine facilities. By
}mow. we always get a lot of the planrung stages smce
1966.
the way,
rn
nave ·you 'kriow that
students from down your way. A
Mr. Jock: What do/ou _use for our A.P.C. is bringing about·some
fine area of this country, which the prese!1t moment.
_
fine programs for your·Joey. For
has really contributed greatly to
Adm. Dir:: Well Mr. Jo~k, nght instance. by next year we should
the growth of MOTH College.
over there on the mall.
IS
where have an Eleinentary Education
• Mr. Jock: Yeah. not a bad we s~t up portable baskets and Program. A Special Education
pla~e to live as long as we can elecbc heaters so our pl~yers can Program. ~nd even 'a Nursing
keep those coloreds.from moving play ':herever thel want. _Over Program for any'girlSwho come
. into the neighborhood.
there. m that tent, 1s the office of to MOTH.
•
•
Mrs. Jock <hastily changing 1?e head basketball coach, Ron
. Mrs. Jock: Well it sure is good
the subject
1:
My what a beautiful
1'
uelm~n. We had to make the to see some ·one working hard
college you have here Mr. Finn, ~st with wh~t.
we
have, ever these days.
. • -
. _ •• • •
could you possibly show .us smce the or1gir:ial gym was
Mrs. Jock: You know John,'
J
around.
condemned back m
1974.
Part of am very pleased with MOTH. in
Adm. Dir.: I'll be glad to show the P!Oblem- has been_ that fact these were the ·very same
you around. in fact we'll start •off -alumru. you know notthat many programs that we fought for at
right here by going right over to people come to MO.TH a~ymor~. Marist College iii. Poughkeep~ie
Leonidoff Lake. This.is easily the For some reason, these kids don t back in
1973_· . . ••
•
i:,'
most versatile of all our facilities care. ·especially with the present : Mr:Jock:What difference does
andasyoucanseeitisutilizedby
political system being the way itinake!
•
both the football and the soccer that it is.
teams. It has other advantages.
Mr. Jock: I don't understand it·
in that. the crew and the sailing either. Goliath.
l
do think that if
teams can also make fine use ol every • kid played football or
The Tourney:
Twas the hour of the tourney and all through the gym,
Balls kept bouncing and hitting the rim.
The coach home from lhe Derby and the Doc out on bail,
Started to pray. that the foxes wouldn't· fail.
The seniors rode "high" on the dreams _of
first,
But the betting went against lhe "smoke" of Fairhurst.
Coach kept dancing and clapping alot,
• Buthis hopesweredyingof seeing Joe Scott.
When all of a sudden there arose a great clatter,
Martell had arrived but twenty pounds fatter.
Off the bench jumped a junior in fear,
Hoping that :Larry-hadn't found his beer
'
.
. The cheerleaders were shocked and slang did t}ley cuss, •
When the opposition started to crawl off their bus.
.
.
'•
·-
,;..
....
--~
:·
..
,_;
.......
,
-
.,.
,.,
.,
•
.
.-.
.
....
_
...
-··:~
. The faris
saw
them·-·riext
and became morose, :
They were bigani:i Ugly and slobbfah ~d gros~.. •
...
'
...
-
..
--
- -
-
...
.
...
..
~
,.
They-showed. no-morals, ~th nor .~ir- .. · ·
. . .
And ripped_dowµ
the banners that.were hung with care.
· .The visjtors.W:ore-lightJ>lue,
silver ~-d grey,
. WhileJ:T:stood.helpless to turn thevets_away.
'
'
..
~ ~
.
.
.
•
••.
~
.
.', I stood .iii ~we of. the-.visitors height, ,
' . ·
And reaiized-the.chance of-victory was slight ..
Th~y dribbieci>thi; ;ii~i;:~o.flaw did 'they show,
. Their co~ch .sho:w~ .. signs only Qinzberg would know.
. Over to the scorers.table.our-coach ran in a scurry,
Shouting tQ Hc~rt,
to shoot in a hurry. •
.
-
.
'·
~-
i~
up Jim.·:.'·
0
UP.AL,'!·_
.. lJP:joHN," UP MIKE,"
• J)r. I'llsho\\'. you a .treatm~nt·a masoc~tW()llld like.'
.
--
..
llis screams and.his plans w~nt to no avail,
.
. 1•:or
it seemed Qbvfous the. visitors· would prevail.
~d' e;en· tho~gli'we: pr~yed to good fairi~s .•
The f9xes fell to the mounties of St. _Mary's.
it.
basketball .. like Joey .here, we
Mrs. Jock: Mr. Finn, why are would have no problems in
all those· cars parked alongside America. By the way, was that
the field like that'?
basketball coach, Fuelman, the
Adm.
Dir;: The reason.for that head of athietics here?
l\lrs.'Jock is purely behind the
Adm. Dir:·: No Mr, Jock, th~
MOTH College football coach. By director of Athletics is a mah
strategically
locating
the named Doctor Silverman. He is
Chit.rR
qshiti:t:
with apologies to Clement Moore
-
.
-
Student.
Gov't.
...
M·.
·a·•·;,,-_·.
;{-0·
•.
:f·
_,_~:-;;_,:T_.
=·h··e
Ye·a
r
..
·•1:1
·'
. '•··
·:1·
,·
-
,·
There is something about a monster. except that they both
"r~ds
an_d
shavin~. He is also ~ell
In-Action·
man who looks toward tomorrow. live in the water .. _ .. .· ........
_ knoy;~ lor sweatmg and reading
There is also something unique
Ther:e· is .. a ..
qu~~k
-wit .. ll,bQut
: books with yellow, pink or blue .
about a man who can look at Hushin. His minds work in
covers. When asked about the
yesterday and accept it and only computer like fashion .. lle-is well ,.award. all he co1:1ld
respond was.
try to improve upon it. Chipster known for brea~ing. d09rs.and
"l!olq_,_the Va1tor. Hold the
asked. off the record, whether the
thing that we had no more of was
spelled ''Funds'' or "funs." After
resoiving this important issue,
the ( 'ouncil decided to discuss the
annual Student Government
Dinner and the prizes that would
'>e
awarded to the members of
.-;tudcnt
Government.
The
following awards were decided
on:
"Most
Well-Rounded
Student" went to Joe Cocopardo.
who by this time had sent a note
from his mother saying why he
couldn't be at the meeting. The
next
award.
for , "Best
Management of. Funds" (and
YOUR
ATTENTION
PLEASE
!!!!
E.O.G. AND NATIONAL
DEFENSE LOANS
ARE NOW IN AT
THE BUSINESS OFFICE
funs, too, for that matter> was
given to Halph Ranellone. with
special thanks for being so good
at ··balancing" the books. <After
taking two years of accounting
courses. Halph could pull the
:,vool
over people's eyes almost as
well as the presiden.t of IBM>.
Finally.
Bob Nelson
was
presented with two awards, for
"Hardest
Worker''
and for
.. Clearest Minutes." ."I would
haveprcfereda new tyji'ewriter,".
Bob commented, "since my old
one seems to get fouled up with
dust· all the time. And if anyone
has . the code book for the
minutes. would he please return
it'! ..
But the awards were not over
yet -- . the Elite· Council had
• reserved a special one for "The
Best President We Ever Had" to
be given to President • Bernard
Mulligan for "that aura of
m~jesty. • • for unprecedented
heroism in the face of the College
Council <in one of its ugliest
moods>, and for unrivalled
courage and fearless action when
confronted by an angry President
1of a different· stripe>
in
Washington, D.C. In presenting
the
award,
the
esteemed
Cocopardo, who by that time
arrived.-vsaid- "Bernie certainly
was the . best president we ever
had. Ifhe ever wants any kind of
recommendation,
he'll know
where he can ·go for it." With
that, the Council adjourned,
setting its next meeting for July
4, 1976.
"That'll give the Circle
enough time to print up the
results of the meeting, and I just
love a parade," was heard in the
. commotio~ as the meeting broke
up.
l{m,hin is neither of these things. blaming it on editors. But what
\'aitor.
.
On April 26th at the Jack in the stands .out is _his .sturdy driving · • l'~ip does not know what to do.
Box in Newburgh. New Yorlt: ability. fie.is the first man in,tbe .. besides the fact that he couldn't
Chip Hushin will
be
honored a·s History of the Mid Hudson Valley
do it anyway. He doesn't look
the - man of the year · • by· the to make a U TURN on route nine
back to yesterday to correct his
Brothers of the Rhyme of the and go -back in the· _same-direc-. · ntjstakes ... He doesn't remember
Ancient Mariner. For years they tion.
..
•
yesterday. - he spent the day
have studied him andfinally have
lie convincingly-t_o]d
us tbat he; . passed out. . .
. -
given up. According
to
th_eir- does not lose ~ste.mper,·drink..
. lie doesn't
look towards
leader Tim Short, "Chipster has swear or steal although he admits
tomorrow as a new day. He
proven to be more animal like that he does lie ori occasion: One. knows he won't change. • He
and· ·grotesque than. anyone :we ,has to ·believe;.· this·• pathetic . al\\'.a~s was. is, and always
have ever honored." Short denied looking behomethe.
•
• . i:emains the same.
.
rumors that Rushin may be a
His hobbies .. -include,-b.eing,
That's.why there is something
descendant of the ANCIENT gullible:. breaking:. out, eating. -,special abo.ut a man who lives for
MARINER but said "no com- flies.· going on any bus· trip to • ~ay. but doesn't know what day
ment"to any connection ~etween Mount- Vernon;.. throwing. ski.
it is...
• .. ,
.
the winner and the Locknest ja~ket.fits and .eating. the right.
:. So hail to the winner - the Man
.
•
of the Year.
Who -Is:-Doin,i
-f.Pli8f;:-T;;~:w;;;;;;;
Terry.
heard
your
new
•••
· •
·• .. · :·
~
-• •
: IMlm:
9
9
im
•
®
IL'
11iisssi!ml
girlfrieod. is the IBM computer walking down the hall. "And •
~L
•
•
,giving out·sometype of figures>. there I·was standing onJop·of a
· 4
nl
S
""4?€.K,
•
Eric. hasn't been seen since the mountain. Naked. to the"world" ..
~
bri. nl')s
'
last night in the rat; he was seen What is Pauline talking about?
I
.
":JI .
M
runni~ away saying "willard o_h. she is "working,
OU!
a, sah:is m :. .
Stgni
""tcan"
w
Ben. willard, ben, ah, ah" <note pitch for· tomorrows .. tr1p to the~-
' ·•
t'
• \
I
he also had a bottle of wine in his I•"antastisks. Bob, I know we are W
-,.
l"
·
hand>. George, how is "refer supposed to get students to· come if , •
\
~
"$
l
•
Madness" coming? Jack L. the to our events, but-hiring a topless $.
*
Wine houses are flying fin~. Jim,
11
go g? da!1cer is a bit to much.
ii .
Se (
Vet
S.,
M
what really happend m the "Beheve·1t or not.
I
am-not really
h
s
·
~
•
P
f ~,-.
previews- of
.
carnal here.".D.A. l)rennan, Well,·if·you I.
\) Ypr
l se
s.
r
knowledge??????? Carla. is it believe him. I am alive and well
j ·
f
•
·»
true what they say happens at the and Jiving in the-middle of a six
ID ·.
·
·
A
O
Of(
Sh
I
Cub meetings? "Hey Brian, . pack • G. Mcalone .. For .the· fifth
)l
·
• ·
•
L
fil
"Ho~ soon can we . get Ui;it and last time'. as president of the
f .
p
Ur<.n
QSe.
ff
married couple down here to C.U.B.. Idonothave.the power to 4
.
, .
•
.~~
lecture on sex, education?" Brian pardon any tra[fic _,
yiolations. ; W:l (
l
(eo.6-t.o
m
- I
guess as .. soon as we can pull ,Jack. "I can't believe Jack wants ;;:,~
A·
A
.
• · ·
-
@
them apart. :8ey Joe Brosan, we !}le to have all.these papers do~e -~ •
\"'\
.("'\11,.USl\'\
g
~i
are. never gomg to make money ma.hour". WeH :use the eJectr1c
ITT .
- •
•
@
on the.candy if you keep giving ty~cw~!.ter. "Whats a '.~yper- •
·t':rnCOOY\iel:
@
out free candy to every girl ,vriter? • Cathy.
Jl
·
•
1··
•
G'O
W°t'l'M
11"! _.
"
February
J,
1973
VOL. I()
NO. I~
A
.. :\s a last venture for the Co-editors
of
the Circle. ( Ed O'Connell and .
Stuart Gross> ;. We are hoping to start a possible tradition for all
t•ditorfal boards when their time has ended. At this time we would like
to lean• you with this thought: "You have laughed at us. now we hope
_you can laugh at yourself."
..
Corruption Rampart
On
Security Force
The Marist College Campus announcement to the college
Circle: ·•How was the alleged
was" rocked by the discovery of commwiity_· wedriesday. _"I am
corruption able to continue so
• ·•graft and corruption right up to sickene_d by the discovery" said
long unnoticed?
the highest offices of the security Presideng Floy .. _·. .
The President: What?
force." The story" broke when
Circle.: Ifepo1;-fe.r Bob . Bieber
Circle: Never mind.
President Milbatis Floy made an was on th~ see~~:,
. _ • ..
When pressed
for details,
·
.
___
;.__.;.. ______
_...__________
President Floy stated that the
• Pe~ce~-W7hat
R~~lly. ii~pp~~~d
•
f~tZ~t::cx~~iJ
0
~!ct!:e}t~!
on Jhe Mafia payroll. ~loy alsc
------
..
-..
--··-•·
..
•.•··'"/·The-
·Jumble
E~;J~~~~§:E15
• -. --
-
supposedly heavely guaraed.
When • security
Director
A Backward
I
Glance •
I
to the class of '73
!•'our years of sordid episodes have past.
and now our parting looms apparc'lt at last.
We drop behind our greatest effectr •
·or
idealism, hope, perseverance and neglect.
We
were to
~
the greatest of classes,
not walk around with our heads in the clouds.
We took our hazing, all the grief and rile,
and when we hazed we did it in style.
Community. peace. love. these words are now good,
. where hatred. violence, and tradition once stood.
We fought together against all the issues.
at the cost of many thousands of tissues.
Anti•war. Nixon. Agnew. and Laird.
we voiced our protests, we were not scared.
We took to task every issue and item.
and now our school disavows IBM.
Eight o·clock hadn't finished its tum in tbe·a~m. li!)eup on this cold Haderhalt was· confronted with
i,
Saturday morn1ng in January. President Nix(!tl 5c8t$ilently behind his the evidence. he said. "Do you
I
llur present class is not without peers.
marble topped desk in his private office. He was jrQni.ng out a few pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?" ij
to those of our country and men of long years.
kinks of the speech he would soon deliver for liis inauguration. Fifteen
It was alleged that the Security
g
Lincoln and Nixon and I<'illmore and Grover.
thousand fanatical screaming fans were expected to~
on
hand f<?r.
~
• Vorce was supporting a campm
ffi
we find Mulligan. Maneri. O'Connell. and Cloer.
opening of his !econd terpi on the steps.of th~ CapitaL . •• •
.
. ··,red light district. protecting
fi .
What of Washington. Adams. Jeffersen. and Capone.
He started to reread his speech. He felt himself nodding off but Just niimbers operations. and ad- ;.Im·:_:,···
. we have Scovotti. DeNara. Freccia. and Simeone.
~efore he fell deE:P
into oblivia, Press ~cretaryH<>nald Ziegler walked~ vising SAGA food service. Mosl .
. m
and hand~ h1!11
a bundle_of mo1·mng_
newspapers
fr.~m
~ound the members of the Security Force
After four years we look at our teachers.
country. Pnmarlly he was mterested m what .the ed1ton_als had. to could npt be found after the story
§.
and compare them with the age old teachers.
constructively offer. He woul_d
·put them: into_ t~e.
columns:_ 1 .. hit .. However, Circle reporter~
ID
Look at Plato, Socrates. f>ascal and Hegel.
AGREE.
I
~ISAGRE~, ~nd
I
CENSURE. .
. .
. .. _· _· .. _
,\·ere able to_ find a few. Super-
I .
and now our Teichman. Schroeder. Griffin, and Cagel..
Afte: readin~ the editonal~ a~d :the ~por~ ~age~, he picked
up
the • visor· Mack Jicena said "Ten.
d
There is Marx. I<'reud. Spinoza. and McLuhan. •
through the pages until he round the Jumble.
.
$:W.1
for no Decal". When asked
New \ ork Daily New~_·
Pulling out his Pre. S1dent1al P. e_n he flipped doll_a.rst
__
·orNo Parking area_, and
.
1
❖=<
and our own Waters. Kirk. Pasquariello. and Nolan.
"Dai:nn" he ~id. "It's that same wo~d. • Why do .they keep using if he wasinyolved in thealleged
1
,
Ncxtto our social scene we turn
\\ith
glears.
rerun Jumbles?_ He :was stuck on the f~rst.word •.
_EAP.EC we!'! the corruption.
Student·._Director
I
tofindthefastcouplesofMarist'slongvears.
letters. He pacecl the noor :and wrote· on· the c~ams
trymg to Clark Kent said: "You know lhe.
• !"II be damned if Pancherithjnks life is Divine.
••••
-rea_rrangc theseJetters -which: had· puzzl~cthim.for. four, .ye~~-, Tll~:., Iastguy,wh1>:ru.;1icd'thatgot
-~.siif;:
• . ; -... amUf.T.fil59rn)i.b~!:J.
011~.rm.$m:g_J:i~
~£l.!'1Jn~..,__
...
phone rang.
•
•
~.
•• dropped on .his head:" When·.,,
llowaboutMriVicePresidentandthegirlhecallsNancy.
.
_
_ .
·
.
_ .0::~-_
.. usked how'he felt Grendan. Pill.
"
ask Sheehan of Sheahan if Ellen·s his fancy.
··11e~lo.
Spiro. What gets y~ up so early'?''. said_the P~£l~~dent~ he" patrolman ~replied:
•!J'll·
make·
unwrapped
a
new·pack of Wmchesters. He 1ma~m~ himself with
a
you an offer you can't_refuse·."
mo~stac_he
and a new hat. he wondered why he didn task Pat for her . Patrolman Hoe H_µgo
said: "How
resignation.
.
.
._
.
. .
.
far. is it to.Canada?:' All this
.. Well. Richard. I w~s _precarious
~
dubiliation that you ~.gbt fall transpired as Supervisor Robin •
prey tosomecommurusticattempt tomduceyou to oversleep.
was last seen heading south with
··Ha.ha.olebuddy,Don'tyouworryaboutme.'.'
a
suitcase filled with small un•
.. Did you fix up your soliloquoy?"
. .. , .
marked bills .
.. Let _me
say this a_bout that. Spiro.
I
hav~ tped by best,. but
I
s~ill
With the almost total disap-.
cannot
m
clear conscience make up a dynannc interlude; I wish, I wish pearence of the Security force
I
could write like J.F.K."
-
·,: .; ' , ·.widespread
I
looting has broke~ _
··wh?'?°' Agnew_
"".as s~lent, then ask~d, "By the way, Mr. President,. •.out on campus. ".The situation is
who will be admm1ster1ng the oath? .
• out of- control.·· said President
··w~rren B. He_
doesn't give.me too ma~y words ina ro~ to ~ry to 1·1oy. An atomosphere of tension •
recall:. The last time I got stuck between honor and obey. said .the hangs over Marist Campus as
blushing Pres.
••
.
.
everyone wonders if things will
Now take a look a ta monolith of scorn.
or that institution Marist calls a dorm.
For triads. Tinkers to Evers to Chance comes
to
my eyes.
but try Champagnat. Leo. an~ Sheahan for size .
Leo
was
known for the zoo and ifs benders.
why is the :3rd floor so big on Pokeepsie's bartenders?
Champagnat surely has enough committees to fill.
all their greater and lesser house councils still.
Boredom ·s their bane so they created a barn.
and be wary of their security or you'll sound an alarm,
Sheahan for years we thought of as fags.
when in reality they're only big brags.
This time Spiro's voice became more solemn and sincere, one would ever return to normal.
think he was trying to do a James Stuart imitation.
"I
hope_you know
that
100.000
commie radicals are coming down to violently protest and
The smaller houses are known for their cliques.
-~
but what do they really do over there for kicks'?
'@ The Gregory snobs are all too
high, I
deem,
possibly disrupt ·your .day of infamy.".-·
•. .
• . . •
"I
know that Spi. and
I
don't caJ'.e.
I
have ordered air support and a
regiment <i.
National Guardsmen
to
come up from the south. I also will
have my close friends, the Redskins, in my row.
.
. . "But;· Mr. President, quivered Agnew, '.'Jerry .Rubin and Abbie
•
Hoffmann will also be here and
so
will .the Hell's Angels. ·1 wonder if
Jane is going to come. That's why
I am warning you."
•
'.'They are not the ones lam worried about,so I don't care."
•
The Vice President found the ~xt words hard to find but finally had
to reveal them.
.
.
.
•
"Mr; President, I didn't-want to alarm yoo but there is a strong
possib.ility that the Marist weathermen- may be coming down also.".
Nixon panicked. "Spiro, I -will call you back."
•
.
.
'•
'/
Beads of sweat now covered the President's· upper lip. He was
shaken by this latest development. Again he picked up his phone.
Three - six~ one.-five -five-five·~ five.·
•
•
• ."~llo Henry, thisis Richard.".
.
... Richard? .Richard Who?" .. .
·The.President.''..
. .... .
;,But Richard- it isn't even nine-o'cla<;k-."•
.. - ..
• "Henry;·listen: I-am in grave trouble.'.'·.· .. • •.
-·.'.'Did Pat.leave you again:?'.'...:...:-:.•-
.. ·· • , ....
• "No.-No, No. There are staunch reports.tbat.the· Marist weathermen
arecomingdowntotoday~srally agaiiisUhe war:"' ..
·.:•OH NO, NO, OH NO, 0 TELL ME IT AJN!T SO.''
"lhave called a meeting with the join~ chiefs. of stlitff and I want you
to fly to Paris after the ceremony and talk to le Due.
I
think we better
end this war. this week."
•
.
"Ofcourse, Mr.' President. What Marist·wants,-Marist gets."
· ·•oh Henry, let me ask you one thing._Did you do today's Jumble in
the News.H·. •. .
.
.
••
.
··Yes ( did; and I had a terribly hard time on that first word. I
. couldn'.t get ·it no matter how hard
I
tried.
I
told myse_lf
that
l
had it,
I
thought it.was at the tip of my .hand, Finally,:! was forced by the.
janitor to get it.''
. •• .
,·wen. what.is it?!' anxiously inquired the president.
"P+E+A+C+E.'-'
.
•
"Peace·; I never heard of it before. What does it mean?"
, '.
'··'.'.',
'
....
,.
''
''•'.'
I
Stu.dent
· Gov't
-In-Action
The
meeting
of Stuqent
<iovernment was called to order
by President Bernard Mulligan .
,··Nard" to all the beautiful.
people in. Gregory House> at
8:00
on the evening of January-
29,
exactly . three weeks late, All
• members of the Elite Council
wei:e present and accounted for,
except
vice-president
and
•. financial wizard,Jo£' Cocopardo .
\\'hen· called ofr the campus
phone.-Joe said that he was .in-
disposed. and had .to study for an
important_ .mi~term that was
coming up in about two months.
The._meeting proceeded without
the estecmed-Cocopardo.
l•'irst item on the agenda was
the Treasurer's Report, given as
• infrequently
as · possible by
Moneybags Ranellone, who just
bought himself a new car. The
esteemed .Ranellone summed it
all up in
a
few words: ·•summing
it all up in a few words; ··guys .
Be_rnie
has got to cut out spending
Student • Government
funds,
because we got no funds left."
Hecording secretary Bob Nelson
•
Cont. on page 4
'
~
.
~
while l<'ontaine is falling
a
part at the seams.
ffl
Benoit's another story you should note with alack,
•
by tl,lc lavender shades or th~i.r parked :Cadillac's.
So.
good bye to you all, 1 hope I've not harmed,
Just poking nice fun here at the Marist Funny Farm.
Love.
me
Apathy
Takes
Life
Of
,.,,.
.
.,
Student
f<'rank della Kasetta, a third
year Police Science major, was
rushed to St. Francis Hospital;
last night for what doctorrs call
the "most severe case of apathy
ever
recor9ed
in
the
Poughkeepsie area."
della Kasetta died one hour
later ..
Area
health • official,
K.
Lesenko. hoped that the cause
which is easily communicale and
easily contagious would not
spread.
Housemaster
Pet
llinesight
responded
im-
mediately to • the hospitals call
where he told newsm~n.
"I
don't
care what happens. Who am I to
say anything. Leave me alone."
Apathy tests have been given
around
the
community
of
Poughkeepsie, but no college
students have been in for the test,
even though it is reported my
special that this is the place
where it all starts. Police believe
that students at deila Kasetta~
Cont. on page 2
PAGE2
...
,Shaping
The
Shapeless
Into:
Hoom depooits are $.50
and are due immediately. They
are
refun-
dable in
8
lllonths with a written request in triplicate. The first copy is
to be made out on yellow paper. The second copy is to be made out en
green paper. With the third copy on toilet paper.
•
.
Then after
17
visits to the appropriate authorities you're infcrmed
they_are looking into the _matter. After what seems io be forever, you
recel\'e the check l~
interest th~y charge you for holding your
money> and a deduction for vandalism on a room you haven't seen
because you live off campus ... But at least you didn't let the
bureaucracy get you down. After all you have the check in your hand
for a
$1.50.
Campus center hours - Check the Rathskeller.
The scene takes place in the 'Bookstore"?
Student:
"Bookstores
do
·seu
books, don't they?
-
Mgr. ·•Get to the rear of the line, hand your schedule to the man in
charge.
':!
hr. later: ''What books do you have?"
Mgr. You must understand it's due to the-hours a bookstore keeps.
Come
back later.
.
Later that day:
Mgr. not in. refer to time schedule. Time schedule "We are in at our
own convenience."
•
Dean Waddle made a recent statement about marijuana recently.
He. stated "its a plant, isn't it?
•
.
A
Ditty
.
Freddie and Pattie they sit right, there,
•
they practice their vows, do they care?
.
.
You walk up to your opponent sizing it, waying the Pros and Cons.
You decide to take a chance, reach into your pants pocket and pull out
your last
25
cents; You putthe coin in the slot and its gone.
_
,
.
Step right up folks and purchase your parking stickers. This handy
da_nd}·
piece of paper and glue will amaze you. For the unquestioning
price of
$3.~
you can
_be
tagged, gagged_ and flagged:-And, you can
.
earn bonus Jmes rangmg from
$10
on up.
• .
~.:;.
Ms. Librarian, coµld
you
help me find a book? "Only
if
its on the first
floor, I'm afraid of the dark.
"Hey you wanna smoke some mary-jane?, maybe buy some'? Being
a suave
.and
sophisticated dop~ smoker I said: "Let's have a taste
first"
:-;·
I
enter his room and he pulls out a pipe and says
"This
is the stuff
your gonna buy so will smoke it." He fills the pipe and
I
take a few
tokes
while
he blasts his stereo.
I
straighten out and leave the room
having bought a
Z
of some bad ass weed
..
I get to my room and fill my
pipe and light it. An odor permeates throughout the room and you
_wonder
"Who's cooking Pizza???·
Amen
TI\ECOlCLE
FEBRUARY 1, 1973
A Marist Fable:
Business Office
Means Business
Once upon a clear January checks in his wallet and produced
··Ah. yes," She exclaimed,
afternoon, a young dedicated his identification.
The lady while thumbing through com-
senior. well known and respected studied the information on the puter sheets which holds_ the·
throughout
the community,
card carefully, looking earnestly
.
secrets of the Tibetan Monks, the
wandered innocently into the at the student, and. asked;
Pentagon Papers, and the Office
center of economic activity at "Whats your name"?
•
Managers laundry list," Your
Marist College - The Business
The stude~t. now slightly
problem is quite obivious,you are
Office.
concerned about the future of"this not registered hei:e . .,
.
.
"Good Morning, Mam,". he discussion. cast·
·his•
eyes in·
-.··There
was a strange chemical
saluted. ··rm a little confused eternal patience
.to
the
1938
.
reaction-. occuririg inside the
over a comment made by the ID Currier and Ives calendar on the bewildered students head.
It did
card validator. She says I'm not wall
...
my name," he answered/'
seem odd to him, even though
registered here. "Of course I
·
is learned by decoding those )ust a few scant
.weeks
earlier he
know she was in error so I'd symbols
just
..
l;>el_ow
.
my had withstood courageously. the·
appreciate your clearing this photograph."
..
'··
•
..
..
rigors of registration, he_ ~hould.
matter up."
•
.
She
•
-
.ac~n_<i"Vl~ifgecl•
:<·this
find himself di:opped from his
.•
"May I see your ID. card discovery.,::-
:
.
•.
>-~
-:-
:.
:.
::
much
desired
•
courses.
.
please."
the amiable
.. •
lady
- ··Now.thatwe·have
established ·•Mirabiledictu'' he pondered,
"I
-
replied. So. the. young
•
man· who I am.:perhaps you cari clear don't feel, n9~-re~istered,
_
how
thumbed through the· cancelled·'. pp my probl_~n:is.:·:
.
-
: .
:
could this not. happen?'.'
,"It's
really quite. simple, therefore· I
A D
·
I
·
1·
~:~:>
••
_
_..
can explain it to you .. )'m.i hav_e
.
.
.
.
a_
Y..
.
n·
·.
:·--:r_.
_·_l
__
:_~_e
__
:_
..
~=-·._F~.--~_)
__
:~
no.~J!~~ ~~~r~ill~~~nite lady":
_I
_
-
.
happen to 1:>e'the
pi:<iud
pos~~or
L
.
f
-
Of T
·,
.
-
.
'
..
'
..
··.
..
.
of a MaristGrant-In-Aid,
A Ni::~
••
I
-
e- -
.:-:--·
·
..
:_h··
e.:
::.-
:·_·;
__
•
=:>.
~:J\
sgi::e:~e~:Jc~t::~~
-
-
grant ~talipg:to,$700:IJO,
How can
~
·
..
-·~
;-
.•
-
•
.
.,-~-
~
·l
not
be
r~gist~red~'~_-;
•
•
...
C
t
U
•
.
·•Did
you.ten us you possessed.
0
mm
U
er.
.
□
·1-o·n·
these,(unds'?.",-she paried_slyly.
,·
·
·
•
•···What
tell you?", he shohted.
·:..
··.
:
.•
.
•·
•
•• •• •
..
··1t·s
in. the same folder.where
.
·.:,:·".
•
·:
-.
' ·-
••
·~
:::_.~-
you got niy address to se"tid me
. .
,
·
•
.
·
my bill for the courses· that
I
J om
Ji
arrell,
Hapless
.Meanwhile. Kathy Scott· took ha
•
dea t
•
t
• .,;
I
'rcsid_ent
_of
the
-
most dyna~c
•
no~es for her four math courses in
·Ff:"
lad
O
~;tg:{
·~s
out
orgamzat1on on· the Mar1st spite of all the racket.
•.
•
•·
·
·
k
•
.dY •
1- htl
th
•
•
,
b ·
•
•
·
"nk·
I
,
•
.
wea ene
.
s 1g y
en re-
~mpus. was. egm~mg to s1
n a ~orner.-.t:,vo peop.~:-were established her determination.
mto the stupor whi~ charac-
performing a grisly rendition of
·
.
,.
.
.
terizes the person-who has eaten
··Heartbreak Hotel;'·' the artists ~ 1th a reaffirmed 1>e~se
of ~uty,
one left-over inarshamllow
.
too ,..,ill go nameless because I
.
_she
10\yered the boom upon the
.
.
.
- .
,
•
. -
_ say
•
enraged stude~t. Her reply was a
-
The
.
Phase:::Three,
Cook
Book
many
from
.the
disastrous
so. but. the
.sound
they .were di b
r
-
11 1
"So
...
.
t:on:iuter, Up.ion Marshmallow · producing was causing Tom
.
?;
0
ica
Y
c ev~r. . _rry.
'·
.
Hoast. When. the deliveryman -. l•'arrell·to start· mumbling, about.
)_he_
stuc,lent wa~ _f1~shed. _He.
"
•
·
'·
' •• ,;
·• t' ed
er
..
,
If
h
"B
tt
L
..
"B
•
k
knew
that there was nothing
.
.
.
cg~
<:_rt ourlB_Mo
ice- pust m~
·tt
e
.
et
Y ..
-~1u49th.
St
-~•c
d. _!load---
-more
"that could be said. In
ia~
new
.
compu er mo, a
•
_masers·'•:
.
••
a~
gonna boiling l•'RUSTRATION he ran
corne_r. asking whether.or ~ot h_e.
··get
•.:co~!-ee.
for . the coff1;e outside to the back of 'rontaine
was m the Computer
-Umon,
1t machme
,
Man._, F_arre~l-~a.s
on. hall where he began to ponfficate
.
~;at all
:ro~.coµld
do
f?
mumble\
_
?
bum~~~ . trip from those about a·· shrub:
_ _
_
1
\\'e Americans are a changing dinner bell.
Negative.
It
was evident
.t~
all··
,
mallows_...
• .
.. . .
:
•......
,
The moral of· this story:
people". Married couples are
••
Therefore.
•
in
the
great
of us present that ~ur ebullient
Joe_
.
I>_uffy
.
.was gl~emg. his
..
"Remember the Business Office
_
changing partners.
Teenagers tradition of modern
_science,
1
leader was suffermg from a postage stamp collection to the
.-
•
1
•
•
•
•iii
g
d bl t g·
•
are changing religions. Wives are say.
:'Let
the bells ring"!". \\'hilt•
marshmallow overdose.
office wali.
saying.how
artistic it"
IS
a :y~w•.
n a.~ a e
O I
Ve
changing
husbands,
.
and it might not always be chicken.
,Jim Peluso; head of our-Social looked, while ~·rank Ma.rtin was
•
you
e usm_ess.
•
,
husbands arc changing babies. let us follow our leader in rriaking
l'romotion and Problem-Solving: moaning about how· he'd. ac-
.•
~~1<'%iW%&.~
.
Due to all of this change; many· the most of it Next week's en-
tiroup. was outlining his plans to cidentally spent
:a:·
t909-S_:·vpB
of us seem lost or resentful that tree: "Steak Surprise".
The
make the C.U. office.-into a ,:,penny.,-.down in the Rat. Fran
.
the old ways have been cast
surprise?
It's potatoes!
topless nightclub when
"Jim
,
DiGr~ndi was pI°aying secretary-
.
aside. Without the bulwark of
Cioffi. who had changed from a about this
.time,.
and_-~P~.-
wai;;
.
tradition. we are vulnerable to
resident-to
.a
commuter-to-a-
turning
..
on all the charm, she.
.
.
.•.
the attacks and immorality of the
.s·
·t
U·
d
e· n
t
resident~again so often he. didn't
.
:
~ould ~~Ster t_o
ge·~
h~r.·
rellecti_on
• •.
1
':iru.
ti~db of_
go~f : bee~
new guard. We have been proven
know where to go home at night
m the mirror to run down to the
•
rug _s
,an
•
_eer_
.
as
an.
gullible by the slanted news
asked Peluso why he'd want t~
.
Hat and get-he,;:.a_
cheese!Jurger.
.
s_peci;~f
\kwheredtlibe
bars ts.e
1
rye
.
. . hts t
"th
t
·r
.
Sh
.:·
•
't
"h"
.•
h
1
•
•.
}OU
_wm
s an
.
eer. a ow
media that we trusted for so long.
own a mg po
_w1
ou a roo
_.
:..
e. wasn_
.~
a_y1~g muc
..
uck,
•
Th
•
L.
t
-
to
th"
• •
Now.
WC'
fear a ruthless
·on-
Tom Kelly, posmg as a token • Also lookmg-
·mto.
the mirror,
prices_
•.
•
.
e~. is en.
·
-
is.
slaught at the hand of. modern
d".
·,·
·e
S
·_
•
·o·f
sane p~rson in the_:<>utfit.
took
._which
is a t~~.sll!ed.re_i!li!1d~r;of,
•.
SPECIAL AT
:BRANK$
-
7
.
\\ickedness.
notes o?'the encounter, and swore
.
th~ days. when
.ourJ>f(1ce-was_
a'..
•
NIGHTS
A
WEEK: ALL/fHE
To protect ourselves, we chose
~the
d make a_ movie base<:1
on -
_barbers~op
,.for
-,c!~n._
-~!~W~llt
- ·BEEil'
•
YOU
.•
CAN
-·:BUY
a
leader we had hoped would
be
.
grim events m the office.. stude~ts of an earher M;ir1st,.~as.
_..
THAT'S IiIGHT
•coME
TO
capable of making the most of
._Jo~.T•epe~~n~_.
,~l)o;w;is
b-ymg ·.THE.·:.·
,
BAR_.-:·· WHERE.
••
our weakness, gullibility,
__
and
h
.
.
_
to _mJect s1hcon~mto th~ eleven
• •
·BUYBACKS
AND
COMFORT
rear
••
and capable he. has
Apa
t
.
y·..
Ping Po~ t~rnament. He aJso
~,rs
scatter_ed aJogg_:hl_S-Jlpper,: l>ON'T;
EX.IST:
•.
:-
•
• ·:
proven! The product of·his
placedmnthmthemarathonT.V.·
hpsohe_couldgrow:a_musuiche.·
.,.
;
..
·•,"
,.
,_. •
•
-
•
··making
the most"·.is an·ood
watch three
years
ago in
-~.nd.~t.-Jast
esGa~;tl)e_Q.a~id_
.•
_ -~%&..~
ru
•
i-"··.
littlecreaturecalled •'Phase3".
I
_Champagnat.
Due to his iri-
Cassidy look
.which
·he.-just
•
do not pretend, like so many··
from page
1
-
volvement
and credentials Frank
naturaUy had.
··:
..
••
..
:-->:
,
.-------------.
others, to understand· the in-
school have, been
.
teaching
was nominated for "Junior of the
•
••
In a c_orner,
·_two people were
tricacies of this riew plan· for
apathy
to grammar
school
Year."
••
-
•.
performing
.a
grisly- rendition of.-
stability. However, we can all see
children..
A·
spedal meeting had
_been
"Long Tall Sally;" the artists
some of the far reaching effects.
According to della Kasettas
called !Jy the Student Leaders in· will go-nameless because· I· say
•
For instance, our weakness has
roommate, Stanley Romaneck, order to curb the spreading so.
:but
the sound. they were
been replaced with the: strength
thevictimhadnotleft his room in :ipathy in the large_Jecture hall. producing was causing Tom
of confidence in a new idea. Our
three years except to eat, visit
All three people showed up for the Farrell to start m1,1mbling
about
guUibility has been
•
converted
the john, and occasionally attend
first time this semester but one "champagne
pa:rty"
"being
into faith in our leader and his
.
a class. ··All Frank ever wanted
fell asleep and. the other two
•
bartender" ;:puttin~ ·mallows·in-
•
managerial skill. Ho,vever,-our
_
to do was ~lch and go to the Pie
refused. to give more than
.an
~e bu~bly
and,
_.well
•• ,M~n, •
fear has been replaced only by and Shove." For their roommate.
·abstain'
on any measure.
I
l•a~e.llw~sreally_gone this_time._
confusion about what the hell this Romaneck and Jackson Knag
A service was to be held this
Chri_s
Wise ~as m
-~
middle of·
,vhole mess actually is and what threw all. his belongings out of afternoon but
it
appears now that all _this.
•
but she
•
was actually
•
do wedo until somebody finds out twelfth floor window and ripped everyone wants to
·sit,
in the gettmg some work done. Larry •
and explains it to us.
.
his name off the·list in the phone lob~y.
•
.
_·_
I-:3sko and Daria Delaware, the
This column is dedicated to booth. Then they both went back
A spokesman for the familv.
<,
hos!-5 of Commute.rs Past, were
helping
fearful
Americans·
to bed.
•
.
.
.
Jirri Calcaterra, called Frank
ari .
~.unnrng arou~~
•
screaming
•
caught in
·
the pinch between
It
was originally hoped that the ··energetic individual who always
Hepent, _ye.
activists!! ! There's
depressed salaries and inflated
student would recover but the wanted to get involved. But this mo!e
}?,
life-than the C?mmuter
prices. For; it was not so Jong.ago school doctor; Mr. James Bur- all changed whe_n
-he
went
to
Umo~ • • • John Tomkov1tch ~as
that we thrilled to the promise of dick;
·a
gradliate of. Marist, has college: The family knew:that the :
00
kmg
up
money,makmg
;
··a
chicken in every· pot,',' arid never been tothe_ hospital.
• •
boy was suffering
.
from the. schc~e~. while Tom
-Farrell
was
..
,
·n1EnJtl'I.E
~',,··
Apprecj~~s.
:t~~
::followin_g}~op-
tributors:
·_.
•'
·._
··-.
· .,
,._
•••
••
.,.
''.
f<Jleeil·
·
·
·-•·-·:,
.. - •·
...
·.·-:;.-·
Brian Doyle
Donald Duck
.
Brendan Gill
Stuart_ Gross
.
Hank Hammer
Jim Heilmann
James Keegan
<;regory Ladders-
.
Kevin
•
Laffin
Morna Moore
Bernard Mulligan
.
Hobert Nelson
Ed O'Connell
.John
Petraglia
.
Mike Peyton
Rick Whitesell
I~ric Yergail
The Student Body
Marist_ Colleg~
..
•.
-·
.
while our· tastes. have
."changed
.
•
:
della Kasetta ~as a m~mb~r
_of
disease but he never would speak gr!lv•~tmg above th~ ta.bl~ by
•
somewhat; psychologists. tell:. us
_·
no
•.
clubs· or
•
orgamza bons up when he· had. the· chance or this t'.me. Just then, the phone
.
that we are. still :Slaves
_of
the· although be did sign up
·for.the-.
when something was wrong"
rang
•• ;a~d
Arlen~- Bloomfield
Edited~by: O_
'Conn_
e_ll:& Gross·.·
.,
.
.
.· .•
--.
.
•·
...
•
wasmakmgacollectcan.·
,•.
.·
.
. .
...
.
_,.
:,-
__
....
--·
FEBRUARY
1, 1973
TIIECOlCLE
R.
u.
M.
The
Committee
for
the
further evidence.
Hepresentative Understanding of
"Snow White of course is the
Morality, a subcommittee of the · most blant example of evil
Mari st College Council, today allegory: After meditation and
ordered an immediate halt to all prayer it became clear to me that
activities sponsored by Marist
the seven dwarfs were indeed not
College
Childrens
Theater
the cute little meri they professed
pending
further
studies
of . to be. They were drug pushers!!
allegations and charges directed
Their
names
are
actually
towards the organization
by characteristics of the marijuana
Sister Mary Tabernacle O.P., a
addict: Sleeepy. Happy, Dopey,
teacher at Regina foeli Schoo!. t;rumpy. Sneezy and Bashful.
A source·close to the Cou~~il
Need I say_more!!!!!!!
.
revealed to us that the spec1f1c
Children's Theater Direct1>r
conteP~ of Sister Tabernacles's 17 Hi chard Cheeeeeeeechiiia
in-
page complaint
dealt
with
•
alledged attempts on the part of
Cl
· · • f • · d
•
Children's· Theater
to "un-
•
ass1
1e
• sisted
he had no previous
knowledge of these connotations
and was seen later wandering
around campus, sobbing "But its
for the children."
In accoraance
with Sister
Tabernacles
demands
the
( ·ommi ttcc declared the tern -
porary
moratotrium
on the
current production of Pinocchio,
promising however that they will
discuss the issue further at the
next meeting of the College
Council. with the schedule for
that meeting in the Fall of 1\)76.
• dermind the. ino'ral fabric of my
•
children." The "report went on to
va··
.·
•'
··n·
.
F
Or
Sa
I
e
say that under the guise of the
enchantment motif past produc:
tions have 'in fact attempted to
"introduce
to the children
homosexuality.
·drug usage,
adultery· and ohher perversions
through the sinister use of subs
telty.
•
•
•
At
a:
recent meeting of'CRUM
the Dominican 'Nun was sum- · •
moned to explain her· scandalous
accusations: In an emotional
tirade Sister Tabernacle altered
the tone of the session by
repeatedly·\vhipping the· lecturn
with
her Rosary beads, declaring
that the •final Hour' is imminent,
save·
·yourself;
Richard·
Cheechiiiaa."
'A
wakened
by .
sister
screams; • pr·e_siding
>
chairman T.C. Thomas mov·ed
that she form
a
committee to find
·
t!Ie real problem. Refusing t9 do··· p~·
-· :· ; :. ··d: ··•:
· '
::~t1etatfti~o~~~~n~n
~1
~~:.-·
_:Q
·r
O :
rs
8
second graders souls committed
f>o You Like ...
mind off of such bothersome
~?'
the_ Childrens Theaj;er. Si~ter
... exciting night life. and
things as having to clean up your
I abernacles read from her _text:· orgiastic parties'!. .. .
room. With one quick sweep of
·•wizard of Oz" <19~0>
Act III·
• ... unlimited•.·free''.eatinginan
hcrhand.shewillridyouofevery
s~ene :i: _LJpo~
returrung to the efficient.• hygienic facility?.
.movable object- in the room.
harmas farm 1_n
the wake_
ofof a
... a scenic view overlooking a
If
it·s relaxation
you are
torn~do the wizard carried the progressive landfill project?
looking for. Sheahan Arms will
heromc. : Dor?th:y. Half-clothed
Well. friends. if this sounds like afford you privacy \guaranteed
and _unconsc1o_us.
to the far- the type of place you are looking • less
th;rn twenty
one
in-
~~u~t.P.:~fl~1~!ng_ ,~I i,go~.)?e Jor_. perhaps you sh_ould}ook
into . ~~rmI?ti_ons_
within a h~un, peac;e
gir! - , • .
.
•.
• Sheahan Arms. For as little as
•·providing-you
have paid up your
Suen. dialogue
1s . overtly
s1:15
a month you too can enjoy all house fees ctc ..
1
and quiet <you
suggestive and such adulterous the conveniences
of modern
are not allowed to play music.
behav!or is part~
1
cularly un° Jiving, !"or. this unbelievably low make noise outside of the one
. becommg a _Wizard
.. Shocked by price you receive your very own hour time slot designated as
s~ch rev~I_ations the m~mbers of . half of a room
I
a spacious area • ··party time." >
l
HUM hs1tened attentively.
measuring ll"x 5'9"1 Also, at our
If you are of an ·energetic type.
"Peter
.
Pan..
. \ 1971 > commoaious conmiode, complete we have something for you too.
Throughout
~he. play Pe~er with all of the conveniences of !<.:very
night you will be sure to
repeatedly entices the darlmg home ·,Clothes hanging from
find at least four or five people
children to :•fly" with him; every imaginable. place. Sinks prowling the halls all night. not to
• eo~stantlr ask1!1g ,them "Do you full of· 'toothpaste.
showers
mention continuous parties in
bchcv~. m fairy s:· _clap your clogged with hair>. we guarantee
casi~y acce_ssible rooms.
hands . My_ susp1c1ons we_re cold running water interspersed
Ah of this and more, can be
, c?nfirmed
upo~ Wendy's m-
with hot ori sonie Holiclays.
yol!rs. Stop in or write for more
s1stance that children are gay.
. And; friends; our p'ersonal
details. Find out what dorm
innocent· and Artless."
.
. .
maid allows · you to take your living can be!
• ·oruy more startling· was this • •
•
•
•
idea of Wendy living and sleeping· . •
with seven littl<dost boys."
•
At this point iri her fit of anger
the dazed Sister . Mary Taber, . . .. Poughkeepsie;
N
:y. -Another Marist College student died early this
nacle reporteclly sta.rted .. in-.· .. morning at st: Francis Hospital. This :marks the: third student to die
tcrspering her . re~rks
• with • the "Green Death'' ·or ·F AGA Food "Services. The first known and
occasional admonitions. of Dr.
reported case appeared when Larry Pyle was found dead in Cham-
Zuccarcllowiti who she claimed
pagnaf'Hall. ·The ·autopsy confirmed the investigation of health of-
was shooting· spitballs· ~t Ed • ficials when they found strands of hair from Chef Bobz's head. Mild
Kissling. • • Ignoring. . these
mannerea Jim -Ladotz, known as Lord Jim to his employees, reported
deviations by the exhausted nun; • . the incident as unfortunate and'the Brumski special was off the .menu.
the audience satin anticipation of With not too much left ori the menu, victims two and three came as a
surprise ·to all. -Both • victims were • obviously washed away by the
-- . - .. •· -- - - . -
,
·. ·.·, •. _
.. "Green Death" as they headed for the local stalls. Officials do not
totally· credit'the deaths.:_to
-the erotic dinners of FAGA since both
victims were ·reported to be politically anti-constipationists.
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PAGE3
Cu.-.-iculum
Revision For
1973
ART 101 - Introduction to Art I - 3 credits
The study of crayola crayons and No. 2 lead pencils. will be
developed with an emphasis placed on stick-figure drawings.
ART I 02 - Introduction
to
Art II - 3 credits
The student will be introduced to magic markers and finger paints.
BUSU06-Principlesof Accounting l-3credits
The student will learn the age old trusted method of counting by
fingers to help him in his business work.
BUS 007 - Principles of Accounting 2 -3 credits
.
The student will be introduced to modern business methods mainly
the IBM 941 abacus.
CMSC 123 - Introduction to Computing • 3 credits
Addition, Subtraction, Division, and Multiplication with a strong
emphasis on the "times" tables will be stressed.
ENG 234 - Elements of Description -and Narration-3 credits
Students will learn the fine art of persuasive writing <ie. "B.S."
>.
ENG 178 -Voices of Protest- 3 credits
A staff taught course on the evils of the college English major.
ENG 165-Riseofthe English Novel -3credits
Emphasis will be placed on Dickens style and works. Students will
develop a 5,000,000 word vocabulary of various articles of speech
during the course.
ENG 890 - Introduction to Communication -3 credits
Basic inter-personal communications will be stressed with em-
phasisonsuchphrases as Hello! How are you? Drop dead!-$!&?!!
ENG 891 - Comparative Communications Systems - 3 credits
Blackmail and the grapevine will
be
studied in detail. The student
will be proficient in both methods at the end of the course.
POSC 167-Introduction to Politics - 3 credits
The student will become familiar with the various methods
of
squandering and deceit so well used by American politicians today.
FRN 2:36
- Elementary French 1
&
2 -
3 credits
The basic elements of French pronunciation. grammar vocabulary,
verbs and FRUSTRATION will be taught.
SPANISH 857 - Intensive Spanish - 3 credits
A living-learning .:!xperience involved with the study of the Spanish
passion and the Don Juan concept.
FRN 866 - The Literature of Revolt in French Literature - 3 credits
The study of French pornography and other contemporary "ouevres
risque"
. LAT :ml - Elementary Latin - :3 credits
Your favorite hymns, prayers. and devotions will be studied. Open
only to nostalgic Catholics.
MATH :!87-388
• Analysis I & II • 3 credits
.
Frustration, boredom and insanity will
be
studied along with other
topics such as functions. limits and integration.
HEST :i78 • Marriage and Family - :l credits
Couples will be matched by our computer. Course will involve ex-
tensive lab work with supervised instruction.
REST !)23 • Contemporary Moral Problems - 3 credits
An insight into the moral problems facing American youth today.
Students will be expected to become fully engrossed in the moral
problem of their choice.
i· • HEST !101
- Basic Concepts of Religion - 3 credits--
An intensive study and memorization of the Baltimore catechism.
I 're-requisites:
5
rosaries and 9 weeks of Miraculous Medal devotions.
1<:xcommunicated students will be allowed into the course with the
permission of the Department chairman .
,~ K
A~
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7}w:t~
cool ..
b Morna Moore
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PAGE 4
THE COICLE
FEBRUARY 1
1
1973
An
Interview
The Prospective
Student Athlete
Hy Jim Keegan
A typical tour given by the headlights of all of those cars, also the Soccer coach here at
Admissions Director of a well- Ctheoach
Ntapol
00
eon has esh
~blishf:d Moth. and really a fine gen-
known school in the Mid-Hudson
m~ _m ern tee ruques m tleman.
Valley, in the year 1992. He -is field lighting. Why high schools
Mr. Jock: 1 can't understand
giving the tour to a famous high and gram~r
schools fr(?m all why anyone can play soccer.
if
school athlete from New Jersey over the nation come here Just
to .
you ask me itis too European and
along with his parents.
study Napoleons m~thods.
there isn't enough scoring.
Adm. Dir: Good afternoon, my . Joey Joe~: ?Whats your gym
Adm. Dir.: well, that might be
name is Goliath Finn and
I
am like. Mr. !4"'1nn. .
true Mr. Jock, but you should let
thec!irectorof admissions.here at
Adm. Dir.: Why, its funny rou Joey be the judge of that.
MOTH.
sh01µd ask ~t
Joey. Why J~t
Mrs. Jock: Mr. Finn, what
Prospective Student: Hi, ya my oyer there, m t~t empty lot,
IS
educational value is there at
name is Joey Jock and this is my piled all the makings for a brand MOTff'
•
mudda and my fadda.
: •
~ew
3,000
s~t fieldhouse. T~s
Adm: rnr.: I am glad . you
Adm. Dir: Glad to.meet you f1eI<:111ouse
1s a very_ special • mentioned that Mrs. Jock. Why
fine people. by the way how is proJe~t to all of us h~re at MOTI:I, let's just walk over to Linus. Hall
everything down in Jersey. You especially_
because 1t h~s been m and look at our fine facilities. By
}mow. we always get a lot of the planrung stages smce
1966.
the way,
rn
nave ·you 'kriow that
students from down your way. A
Mr. Jock: What do/ou _use for our A.P.C. is bringing about·some
fine area of this country, which the prese!1t moment.
_
fine programs for your·Joey. For
has really contributed greatly to
Adm. Dir:: Well Mr. Jo~k, nght instance. by next year we should
the growth of MOTH College.
over there on the mall.
IS
where have an Eleinentary Education
• Mr. Jock: Yeah. not a bad we s~t up portable baskets and Program. A Special Education
pla~e to live as long as we can elecbc heaters so our pl~yers can Program. ~nd even 'a Nursing
keep those coloreds.from moving play ':herever thel want. _Over Program for any'girlSwho come
. into the neighborhood.
there. m that tent, 1s the office of to MOTH.
•
•
Mrs. Jock <hastily changing 1?e head basketball coach, Ron
. Mrs. Jock: Well it sure is good
the subject
1:
My what a beautiful
1'
uelm~n. We had to make the to see some ·one working hard
college you have here Mr. Finn, ~st with wh~t.
we
have, ever these days.
. • -
. _ •• • •
could you possibly show .us smce the or1gir:ial gym was
Mrs. Jock: You know John,'
J
around.
condemned back m
1974.
Part of am very pleased with MOTH. in
Adm. Dir.: I'll be glad to show the P!Oblem- has been_ that fact these were the ·very same
you around. in fact we'll start •off -alumru. you know notthat many programs that we fought for at
right here by going right over to people come to MO.TH a~ymor~. Marist College iii. Poughkeep~ie
Leonidoff Lake. This.is easily the For some reason, these kids don t back in
1973_· . . ••
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i:,'
most versatile of all our facilities care. ·especially with the present : Mr:Jock:What difference does
andasyoucanseeitisutilizedby
political system being the way itinake!
•
both the football and the soccer that it is.
teams. It has other advantages.
Mr. Jock: I don't understand it·
in that. the crew and the sailing either. Goliath.
l
do think that if
teams can also make fine use ol every • kid played football or
The Tourney:
Twas the hour of the tourney and all through the gym,
Balls kept bouncing and hitting the rim.
The coach home from lhe Derby and the Doc out on bail,
Started to pray. that the foxes wouldn't· fail.
The seniors rode "high" on the dreams _of
first,
But the betting went against lhe "smoke" of Fairhurst.
Coach kept dancing and clapping alot,
• Buthis hopesweredyingof seeing Joe Scott.
When all of a sudden there arose a great clatter,
Martell had arrived but twenty pounds fatter.
Off the bench jumped a junior in fear,
Hoping that :Larry-hadn't found his beer
'
.
. The cheerleaders were shocked and slang did t}ley cuss, •
When the opposition started to crawl off their bus.
.
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,.,
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. The faris
saw
them·-·riext
and became morose, :
They were bigani:i Ugly and slobbfah ~d gros~.. •
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They-showed. no-morals, ~th nor .~ir- .. · ·
. . .
And ripped_dowµ
the banners that.were hung with care.
· .The visjtors.W:ore-lightJ>lue,
silver ~-d grey,
. WhileJ:T:stood.helpless to turn thevets_away.
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.', I stood .iii ~we of. the-.visitors height, ,
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And reaiized-the.chance of-victory was slight ..
Th~y dribbieci>thi; ;ii~i;:~o.flaw did 'they show,
. Their co~ch .sho:w~ .. signs only Qinzberg would know.
. Over to the scorers.table.our-coach ran in a scurry,
Shouting tQ Hc~rt,
to shoot in a hurry. •
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up Jim.·:.'·
0
UP.AL,'!·_
.. lJP:joHN," UP MIKE,"
• J)r. I'llsho\\'. you a .treatm~nt·a masoc~tW()llld like.'
.
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llis screams and.his plans w~nt to no avail,
.
. 1•:or
it seemed Qbvfous the. visitors· would prevail.
~d' e;en· tho~gli'we: pr~yed to good fairi~s .•
The f9xes fell to the mounties of St. _Mary's.
it.
basketball .. like Joey .here, we
Mrs. Jock: Mr. Finn, why are would have no problems in
all those· cars parked alongside America. By the way, was that
the field like that'?
basketball coach, Fuelman, the
Adm.
Dir;: The reason.for that head of athietics here?
l\lrs.'Jock is purely behind the
Adm. Dir:·: No Mr, Jock, th~
MOTH College football coach. By director of Athletics is a mah
strategically
locating
the named Doctor Silverman. He is
Chit.rR
qshiti:t:
with apologies to Clement Moore
-
.
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Student.
Gov't.
...
M·.
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=·h··e
Ye·a
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There is something about a monster. except that they both
"r~ds
an_d
shavin~. He is also ~ell
In-Action·
man who looks toward tomorrow. live in the water .. _ .. .· ........
_ knoy;~ lor sweatmg and reading
There is also something unique
Ther:e· is .. a ..
qu~~k
-wit .. ll,bQut
: books with yellow, pink or blue .
about a man who can look at Hushin. His minds work in
covers. When asked about the
yesterday and accept it and only computer like fashion .. lle-is well ,.award. all he co1:1ld
respond was.
try to improve upon it. Chipster known for brea~ing. d09rs.and
"l!olq_,_the Va1tor. Hold the
asked. off the record, whether the
thing that we had no more of was
spelled ''Funds'' or "funs." After
resoiving this important issue,
the ( 'ouncil decided to discuss the
annual Student Government
Dinner and the prizes that would
'>e
awarded to the members of
.-;tudcnt
Government.
The
following awards were decided
on:
"Most
Well-Rounded
Student" went to Joe Cocopardo.
who by this time had sent a note
from his mother saying why he
couldn't be at the meeting. The
next
award.
for , "Best
Management of. Funds" (and
YOUR
ATTENTION
PLEASE
!!!!
E.O.G. AND NATIONAL
DEFENSE LOANS
ARE NOW IN AT
THE BUSINESS OFFICE
funs, too, for that matter> was
given to Halph Ranellone. with
special thanks for being so good
at ··balancing" the books. <After
taking two years of accounting
courses. Halph could pull the
:,vool
over people's eyes almost as
well as the presiden.t of IBM>.
Finally.
Bob Nelson
was
presented with two awards, for
"Hardest
Worker''
and for
.. Clearest Minutes." ."I would
haveprcfereda new tyji'ewriter,".
Bob commented, "since my old
one seems to get fouled up with
dust· all the time. And if anyone
has . the code book for the
minutes. would he please return
it'! ..
But the awards were not over
yet -- . the Elite· Council had
• reserved a special one for "The
Best President We Ever Had" to
be given to President • Bernard
Mulligan for "that aura of
m~jesty. • • for unprecedented
heroism in the face of the College
Council <in one of its ugliest
moods>, and for unrivalled
courage and fearless action when
confronted by an angry President
1of a different· stripe>
in
Washington, D.C. In presenting
the
award,
the
esteemed
Cocopardo, who by that time
arrived.-vsaid- "Bernie certainly
was the . best president we ever
had. Ifhe ever wants any kind of
recommendation,
he'll know
where he can ·go for it." With
that, the Council adjourned,
setting its next meeting for July
4, 1976.
"That'll give the Circle
enough time to print up the
results of the meeting, and I just
love a parade," was heard in the
. commotio~ as the meeting broke
up.
l{m,hin is neither of these things. blaming it on editors. But what
\'aitor.
.
On April 26th at the Jack in the stands .out is _his .sturdy driving · • l'~ip does not know what to do.
Box in Newburgh. New Yorlt: ability. fie.is the first man in,tbe .. besides the fact that he couldn't
Chip Hushin will
be
honored a·s History of the Mid Hudson Valley
do it anyway. He doesn't look
the - man of the year · • by· the to make a U TURN on route nine
back to yesterday to correct his
Brothers of the Rhyme of the and go -back in the· _same-direc-. · ntjstakes ... He doesn't remember
Ancient Mariner. For years they tion.
..
•
yesterday. - he spent the day
have studied him andfinally have
lie convincingly-t_o]d
us tbat he; . passed out. . .
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given up. According
to
th_eir- does not lose ~ste.mper,·drink..
. lie doesn't
look towards
leader Tim Short, "Chipster has swear or steal although he admits
tomorrow as a new day. He
proven to be more animal like that he does lie ori occasion: One. knows he won't change. • He
and· ·grotesque than. anyone :we ,has to ·believe;.· this·• pathetic . al\\'.a~s was. is, and always
have ever honored." Short denied looking behomethe.
•
• . i:emains the same.
.
rumors that Rushin may be a
His hobbies .. -include,-b.eing,
That's.why there is something
descendant of the ANCIENT gullible:. breaking:. out, eating. -,special abo.ut a man who lives for
MARINER but said "no com- flies.· going on any bus· trip to • ~ay. but doesn't know what day
ment"to any connection ~etween Mount- Vernon;.. throwing. ski.
it is...
• .. ,
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the winner and the Locknest ja~ket.fits and .eating. the right.
:. So hail to the winner - the Man
.
•
of the Year.
Who -Is:-Doin,i
-f.Pli8f;:-T;;~:w;;;;;;;
Terry.
heard
your
new
•••
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: IMlm:
9
9
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11iisssi!ml
girlfrieod. is the IBM computer walking down the hall. "And •
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,giving out·sometype of figures>. there I·was standing onJop·of a
· 4
nl
S
""4?€.K,
•
Eric. hasn't been seen since the mountain. Naked. to the"world" ..
~
bri. nl')s
'
last night in the rat; he was seen What is Pauline talking about?
I
.
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runni~ away saying "willard o_h. she is "working,
OU!
a, sah:is m :. .
Stgni
""tcan"
w
Ben. willard, ben, ah, ah" <note pitch for· tomorrows .. tr1p to the~-
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he also had a bottle of wine in his I•"antastisks. Bob, I know we are W
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hand>. George, how is "refer supposed to get students to· come if , •
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Madness" coming? Jack L. the to our events, but-hiring a topless $.
*
Wine houses are flying fin~. Jim,
11
go g? da!1cer is a bit to much.
ii .
Se (
Vet
S.,
M
what really happend m the "Beheve·1t or not.
I
am-not really
h
s
·
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P
f ~,-.
previews- of
.
carnal here.".D.A. l)rennan, Well,·if·you I.
\) Ypr
l se
s.
r
knowledge??????? Carla. is it believe him. I am alive and well
j ·
f
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true what they say happens at the and Jiving in the-middle of a six
ID ·.
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A
O
Of(
Sh
I
Cub meetings? "Hey Brian, . pack • G. Mcalone .. For .the· fifth
)l
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L
fil
"Ho~ soon can we . get Ui;it and last time'. as president of the
f .
p
Ur<.n
QSe.
ff
married couple down here to C.U.B.. Idonothave.the power to 4
.
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•
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lecture on sex, education?" Brian pardon any tra[fic _,
yiolations. ; W:l (
l
(eo.6-t.o
m
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guess as .. soon as we can pull ,Jack. "I can't believe Jack wants ;;:,~
A·
A
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them apart. :8ey Joe Brosan, we !}le to have all.these papers do~e -~ •
\"'\
.("'\11,.USl\'\
g
~i
are. never gomg to make money ma.hour". WeH :use the eJectr1c
ITT .
- •
•
@
on the.candy if you keep giving ty~cw~!.ter. "Whats a '.~yper- •
·t':rnCOOY\iel:
@
out free candy to every girl ,vriter? • Cathy.
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G'O
W°t'l'M
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